Going limp

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by n0t0r10u5, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. n0t0r10u5

    n0t0r10u5 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well last night i was with a new girl (me and my old girlfriend broke up a month or so ago) and everything was going well, up until "bed time". All the foreplay went totally fine.. like a rock i guess you could say, but this ended quickly at game time. It appears that i have acquired stage fright over the past month as this has never happened before and i have had sex consistently for the past 3 years. I am not nervous around this girl at all, and i was totally fine during foreplay but when the time came i got very nervous. Although i was very embarrassed she was very understanding and i told her i would make it up to her. Im young, i don't smoke, drink or any of that stuff so i don't think it is a medical problem. Now heres the thing... What can i do to prevent this from happening again? Any one else have an experience similar to mine? what helped the next time around? thanks in advance guys!
    -Notorious
     
  2. Love2Deepthroat

    Love2Deepthroat New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Ct.
    Relax...stop worrying about it, this only will make it worse. Just let things happen naturally.
     
  3. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
    I get that you lost your erection, but did you try to get hard again?. In the past I've been with guys that have lost their erection (usually when it come time to put on a condom) so we'd just go back a step and start again and usually on the second attempt it would happen.

    It sounds like you were straight up front with your girlfriend so good for you. But here I'm going to risk sounding like a bitch. Starting to have sex only to fail is a big thing sure if it happens once or twice thats not a problem, but if either partner consistantly fails to perform thats something that needs to be dealt with.

    But just one occassion doesn't mean anything, just don't do what one guy did with me and start wanking yourself to keep hard that really pissed me off and was a relationship killer. Maybe you put the condom on too soon, leave it a few minutes after you first get hard, if you last that long sex shouldn't be a problem.

    Anywho good luck I think you have the right attitude by being determined to sort it out (and sort your gf out:))
     
  4. n0t0r10u5

    n0t0r10u5 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    By no means did you sound like a bitch, i totally understand. Like i said in my initial post, this has NEVER happened before and i have had sex more times then i can count (okay, maybe im being a little optimistic) :lol . shes an awesome gal, and i fear that if this happens again i fear that i may blow it with her. Thanks for the replies! I will keep you updated! ;)
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,681
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rocky Mountains
    I hate to mention Viagra, etc. for one failed attempt. But you seem very worried that if it happens the next time it might mean the end of your relationship. With that much (self imposed?) pressure on you, it could very well happen. And only because of that I might suggest you try an ed medication. If you go this route, talk to your doctor about it. If you're in good physical condition he'll write a prescription. He probably has samples he could give you. I'd at least ask. I've gotten free samples of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra from my doctor. One sample pack should be all you need, so you might only be out the cost of the doctor visit.
     
  6. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,754
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Indiana
    Maybe in the back of your mind dwells your former GF.
    Dump Her completely before trying with a new GF.
    Also when using a condom the mood is broken
    That problem can be solved by having Her put it on you.

    Hiker
     
  7. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,860
    Likes Received:
    5,895
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    With her lips over the tip (no teeth :eek) as she rolls it down :brow

    The main thing is to be aroused by the act of putting it on rather than thinking of it is a chore or that it is something you just have to do.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,754
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Indiana
    Good point Cook.

    Hiker
     
  9. n0t0r10u5

    n0t0r10u5 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Believe me, the old girlfriend is totally done! Maybe i will have her try that! thanks guys and gals!
     
  10. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Southern Cone
    Mr. Softy!

    It's happened to all of us at some point! Especially if the gal is out of your league; too pretty for you. It makes a guy nervous. Here's what I did:

    Nº1 Quit whacking it for a while! A few days at least! For me anyway sexual tension tends to build up! Then give her a call!

    Nº 2 Take the role of the guy "in charge"! Let her be on the stage instead of you. Decide ahead of time you're going to get a hand job or a blow job out of the girl! And no more. They'll be plenty of time for full sex later on when you're built more trust.
     
  11. n0t0r10u5

    n0t0r10u5 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wow. thanks! i like the ideas, but your first tip leads me to my next question. Do you find that not whacking for a few days makes sex time a lot shorter? If i know im going to have sex the next day, i try to try to whack like 18-20 hours before..
     
  12. n0t0r10u5

    n0t0r10u5 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, i tried your suggestions.. Didn't whack for 3 days, lots of foreplay and whatnot and all systems were go! Easily the best sex i have ever had in my life. WOW! thanks a ton everyone, you saved me!
     
  13. LA_20

    LA_20 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2007
    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    completely normal. I remember one time my boyfriend got stressed in the middle of a blow job because he remembered that he'd left the stove on.... not very romantic, but it happens.
    This sounds like an isolated incidence, and it also sounds like she was very understanding. I really wouldn't stress about it, I'm sure next time will go as planned.
     
  14. fippy

    fippy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2008
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    tacoma, wa
    since you went limp have her give you a bj maybe it will come back or something or eat her out untill your ready then dont think about it and dive right in (make sure you think about a condom if so)
     
  15. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Masturbating too much may be an issue but there are two questions that comes to mind. First is she more 'experienced' then you? I realize you have not mentioned it but it is something I considered based on your stated age. If she is do you feel that you are competing against her past or comparing yourself to her previous lovers?

    Another question is what type of job do you do? Is it a high pressured job? Are you worrying about loosing it or worrying about other job related issues? Job stress is a part of every day life but it does have a way of working itself into everyday life if not managed properly.

    In any event either issue can be properly managed and your issue should be at best a short-term issue.