Going Backwards!!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by AUserName, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. AUserName

    AUserName New Member

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    Hey, so over 2 years ago i moved into the city from the country which was a big transition for me. My dad had set me up in a 3 bedroom bungalow which was awesome but it was also very lonely. After the first couple of months living alone I realized it wasn't panning out well and I needed a roommate. At school I had found a bunch of cool guys to hang with, you know play video games and stuff and one of them needed a place to stay. He was from out of the city and was driving in once a week to go to school for a week and living in lounges at the school. I spent the night with him and friends at the university once and hated it. He basically would stay up all night, crash late, and then wake up in time to move out before the cleaning lady would come. I felt bad for him so I invited him to stay a couple of nights at my place cause I was looking for a roommate and wanted to see how it would turn out.

    Things went well and he moved in after a few weeks, i never charged him rent cause i didn't have to pay for anything myself aside from internet. So yea now my troubles begin. I fell in love with him which was something completely new to me. I was 20 years old and never had a boyfriend in my life. We started going out like after 2 weeks of him moving in.

    So as usual, in the beginning everything is gold. We never argued, got along well, things were great. Flash forward 2 years and now things are terrible.

    All he does is sit and play video games, which would be fine by me cause god knows i love them too, but he's like totally addicted. He never cleans up after himself, doesn't work, and pretty much forgot about sex.

    I don't have to pay rent or my tuition but i still work 2 jobs, study, and have time to play a few hours a wow a night. This guy does fuck all, just sits and plays games all the time. He's gained like 50 lbs, and hardly takes care of himself. We fight non stop and I can't take it anymore.

    I've brought up the idea of breaking up many times before and he just starts crying. I told him a month ago that at the end of summer i'm moving out (closer to school and i'm putting my hosue up for rent) and if he doesn't shape up he won't be coming with me.

    I realized that we moved too fast so i think we should take a step backwards. I thought about it and came up with an idea but i don't know if it's good or not and would like some feedback.

    I proposed that at the end of summer, if he still wants to be with me we could get our OWN apartments. That instead of living common law we could be a dating couple since we kind of skipped that phase in our relationship. I doing this would be beneficial to both of us.

    Right now I don't do much but sit at home cause that's all he does and I feel bad if I leave him to go do stuff. Even when i do go out, i don't have fun cause he's not there with me. I've become too dependent on him and it's bringing me down.

    I also hope that he'll become more responsible. He'll have to start working and he'll be more careful with money. Maybe he'll become more outgoing and will take better care of his stuff and himself.

    I've accepted the possibility that this might all fail and we break up but i would rather it this way. Let me know what you think. Is it possible to go backwards in a relationship like this? Has anyone ever done this before? Please comment! I really need the feedback .
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Dear Ausername,
    Frankly I see nothing in it for you as this guy is just free loading on your good will.
    He has turned you into a mother figure who does everything for him while he just slums it.
    Be strong and turf him out, because by letting him stay you are ruining any chance of meeting someone who would love and care for you in equal amounts to that you give.
    Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as an outsider and perhaps not knowing all the facts that is my advice.
     
  3. Barbwire

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    I have to agree, he sounds like a load. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, but it's good you are trying to make things change.
     
  4. igor

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    Sound like a good idea to me.
     
  5. jackieizluv

    jackieizluv New Member

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    Seems like you could do much better without him. I agree with all the above posters here. You've been far too good for far too long and I don't think this should continue. For someone as hardworking and nice as you apparently are, you definitely deserve better than what you're getting. If he doesn't shape up, live for yourself and be the best you that you've always wanted to be. Good luck. =)