Girlfriend turned cold

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ispyder247, Jul 7, 2007.

  1. ispyder247

    ispyder247 New Member

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    When we first met my was really into sex. My stamina seemed to be the only thing that would stop us. We have grown extremely close in the past 4-5 months and we are now very in love. We have even discussed marriage and our time spent with each other has doubled recently. The problem is, our sex life has completely gone downhill. She never wants to have sex anymore and I literally have to ask her in order to have sex. I probably spend about 4 of the 7 nights of the week with her and we probably have sex 2 of the 4 nights with me having to practically ask to her have it. The other 2 nights, I'll try but basically get shot down. It used to be that we had sex every night and she would literally wake me up and make me (not that I didn't want to) have sex with her in the morning. She used to like having/giving oral sex and now won't let me touch her with anything other than my penis and she hasn't voluntarily licked me. When we do have sex, its one and done with her not wanting any more where in the past I'd be lucky to get a 5 minute break. I know that I please her when we do have sex and she climaxes 99% of the time (I think twice ever I haven't done the job, and she is very honest). I know she is very attracted to me, tells me she is and tells me she loves having sex with me. I asked her in a serious conversation what the deal was and she told me that it has nothing to do with me, that it has to do with her. She has had some very minor health problems of recent with her kidney and has been under a lot of stress just with work and life. She recently has gained about 5 pounds and is all of a sudden extremely self conscience and has been very depressed/stressed. She has openly talked about this and said that all these factors have contributed to her not wanting to have sex. I spent 3 nights straight there and had sex with her 2 of the 3 nights, we weren't going to see each other tonight because I had plans and then I am going to spend tomorrow and Sunday with her as well. Tonight we were talking on the phone and she said "guess what I just did," then went on to tell me she had just masturbated while watching porn. She has masturbated a few times in the past and openly told me about it (because she isn't very shy) and I'm perfectly ok with it, but I find it very strange that tonight she felt the need to masturbate. It upset me and she doesn't really understand why. I really don't think she is cheating on me, however I have my suspicions. What should I make of this situation and is there anything I can do to make the situation better and get my old sex life back????
     
  2. Kahurin

    Kahurin New Member

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    firstly its only been 5ish months?! and your think having sex 2 times for 4 days rough 50% of the damn time LUCKY FUCK! haha i only get sex like 1 a month and ive been together for 3 years.

    Anyways, Did she recently get on a birth control? with hormons? You said shes been feeling self conscience and depressed. Could be because of the birthcontrol if she has hormons? Maybe shes starting her period or just got off it? As for masterbating she might have just started to push into her period sometimes women get hornier before periods.

    I doubt shes cheating if shes on birthcontrol that messes with your hormons.

    I dont think you well get your exact sex life back. Thats when you guys were just starting to lust for each others and connect on the emotional lvl and thats why it felt so good.. you need to talk to her and ask her whats up is she feeling alright is she completely healthy down there haha she needs to open up to you more if this is going to get deeper

    You might want to slow down on marriage if your only together for half a year and alreadying thinking you have problems

    talk to her and figure out stuff
     
  3. ispyder247

    ispyder247 New Member

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    She has just recently gotten off of birth control because of other health related problems. This is something that has been going on over a month now. She has been extremely self consious and has gained some weight. I have tried talking to her, but she basically just tells me its nothing with me, its just how she physically feels, which I have just come to accept. I actually think she has cheated in the past, but is not cheating anymore. I found out that she was trying to choose between me and this other guy, but chose me. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it or not.
     
  4. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    Honestly it sounds like stress dude,
    You should just give her some time to get over it
    Just make sure she still knows you find her attractive
    as for masturbating, it is much easier, physically, to masturbate rather than having sex

    so just basically give her time, time usually heals most everything
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Isider said
    I have never asked for sed in my life. And I get it anytime I want it.
    Just make love to Her.

    Hiker
     
  6. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    What he said. And if the birth control decreased her libido (some can do that), her hormones will need time to get back to normal, too.