Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Donm, Oct 30, 2017.
Great question. Are you slightly turned on by her promiscuity?
What is the latest about that with OP?
It's one of those things I'm just not sure about. Yeah I have self esteem issues but that doesn't mean I'd just put up with it. But I brought this up and the future and she said she didn't want anyone else. I also finally told her very point blank I'm confused and conflicted about everything.
She told me it's not bad that a part of me doesn't mind it or finds it attractive. She said it would be a win win situation. It's just that whenever I seem to give an inch she takes a mile. Like last night she invited me to hang out with her friends. She was super flirtatious again, she was getting hit on a lot and I couldn't say anything cause everything was so intense. She didn't seem to care that I don't want to move forward quickly.
I'm glad she finally opened up and was honest. I just worry she might not be understanding that this is new territory.
Now she comes and tells me at the party she sucked this guy off after i passed out and that they're hanging out on the weekend. She says this is what she wants and it could work. Now I regret talking to her about this. She says she loves attention and has this side she needs to satisfy. I don't know why it's necessary. Is it normal for someone to have a ridiculous sex drive like this?
For her. The operative phrase is "it could work for her". It obviously isn't working for you. Forget about why it's necessary, forget about her level of sex drive. You need to ask yourself if the price of staying with the only girl you want, is that she gets to fuck every guy she wants. There's nothing inherently positive or negative about what either of you wants from your relationship, only that, as evidenced by your posts, that they may not be compatible....
OK man, here’s another thought. I’m thinking g she’s basically just using you as a static object. Like a vacuum cleaner or toaster, she obviously has deep cuckolding fantasies that she values above her feelings for you. You serve s purpose for her as an emotional anchor and a static object that plays the part of her boyfriend to fu k in front of. After 2 years of commitment, I know it’s hard but... cut and run hard. Theses people out there who are black holes and when you stand to close their vortex of bullshit will pull you in and destroy you, walk now! I hope you d told her your displeasure? If not, she thinks you’re down with it.
My advice would be that this situation will never resolve and that the OP will eventually be replaced anyway so he should walk before his self esteem if further degraded to the point of despair.
Instead find another even perhaps less physically desirable lady but one with whom can make you happy long term. The present one will only cause you misery.
What should you do? Run like the wind!
This made me think of those who are found and the affairs are not tolerated.
They go home to find their stuff out at the curb.
We hear about guys having it done but one co-worker sort of did it to his GF when he found out she was fucking his friend.
Got her wheels, he took them back. Got her a nice cell phone, he took it back.
They were going to move anyway, he ended up moving alone, she had to find herself a place ..... HE was moving, not THEY anymore.
And he dropped his friend.
Those of you who say leave, you should realize everything else great. She is a great girlfriend otherwise. And even with this she reassures me that she loves me. She tells she needs to be fulfilled physically.
I have decided to stay. I just don't want to worry all the time. The whole thing actually turns me on but it also makes me feel weird. Especially in public. She pressures me to go out but makes it really weird when the whole night she'll be all over a guy. She will let them buy her drinks or put hands on her. She's also always out smoking with guys. But when I try to join she shuts me down. But then she's really nice when we leave. She just gets very weird with me around other guys and that's my issue.
Ok........well if you are ok with that shit then it it really your scene so enjoy the put downs then the highs afterwards.
Not many of us guys could/would not handle that but if you can then much kudos to you dude!
You realize you've basically submitted your file into the "Lost Cause" pile right? What level of physical fulfillment could be necessary that gives her free license to abuse and gaslight you as such? Why do you keep justifying her non consenting cuckolding of you by likening it to a polyamorous situation, which let me guess, you're not allowed or don't show any interest of poly fulfillment of your own? Be real with yourself. My money's still on a self esteem issue and you feel like this is the only way a woman of her "caliber" will tolerate you.
But a relationship wraught with obvious disrespect and deception is as "great" as a ticking time bomb, because this "minor sex thing" will creep into your finances, your household, child rearing and the like, until one day you look up and decide to do something about all the resentment built up, which, if you are a white American male between the ages of 18-55, probably doesn't bode well for the rest of us...
There are too many women out there that will respectfully sail the poly journey with you in a way that makes you feel good about yourself and the relationship for you to be stuck on this one..Find the blockage and clear it, for future @Donm 's sake.