Girfriend doesnt do oral... How to change it

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by gettingitin, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

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    I honestly in every relationship dated a girl who gave oral sex. Some who never did but atleast was open to it and did it.. But my new girlfriend of 5 months doesnt.... And seriously now that im older and she older where both 32 she tells me she dont do oral sex... Im like and they still make people like u, Your extinct with the dinosaurs....She have before with a ex boyfriend from what she has told me that she dont do it because she dont get nothing from it. To me its a selfish thing to say... Im at my end because something as small as getting oral sex which seems like serously u would break up with someone over that seems petty of me but its seem bigger that she just so stuck in her ways that she want go the extra to satisfy me and what i want... How should i handle this... Ive tried basically talking about it but she stubborn.
     
  2. thunderseed

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    Iffy subject, if you are going down on her and pleasing her orally, it SHOULD be returned. It should be equal. If not, then don't eat her out. Or maybe you aren't pleasing her enough to make her feel that she owes you? And if it is something that you need, you might have to leave her. You should talk to her and figure out exactly what it is she doesn't like about it, and come to some type of agreement. You can do things to make it more appealing to her.

    I know oral sex is quite vanilla, but I'm a sex addict and I've had to obviously come to terms that everything I want is impracticable and damaging to the person I love. My sexual fetishes are just downright immoral and illegal. I don't want to hurt the person I'm with. And I don't give a flying shit about my sexual fetishes and desires, because I love that person. And in my mind, when I hear people whining about how they can't get their dick sucked, I'm like wow, you wouldn't have been able to make it a second in my shoes. It's not the end of the world, believe me. If I can set aside my desires, anyone can. Good lord...

    I am too kinky for everyone, so I know how it feels to have to accept you can't get what you want. That I have to deal with it. It's wrong to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do. And really, there are ALOT of girls who despise giving head. Even if you really get off on it like I do, it's still not the most pleasant feeling in the world.

    But I have also learned it is easy to live without shit. And it is selfish to not be able to get off on other things. In my case, paraphilias were the worst because I was never able to physically be attracted to anything else other than certain things, but even paraphilias can be changed, and it's not that hard. And that's coming from a lunatic sex addict. You don't need it, even if it's just oral sex you have to live without. I have been able to train my mind to be attracted to vanilla things when the things I was attracted to before were things that would probably freak you out LoL, and if it's not impossible for me, it's not impossible for anyone.

    So I guess it comes down to, if you can't work it out and figure out how to get her to try,
    you have to ask yourself is it really worth me leaving over? Do you care more about her and the relationship or do you care more about getting your dick swallowed?

    I guess I just don't have as much sympathy for vanilla things, because really... I've had to throw away my most fantastic desires, and THOSE were pretty huge things, and so I just find it kind of incredible that so many people's problems are that they can't get their dick sucked, and that's getting in the way of their relationship. A relationship is much more than just sex. And it doesn't take a good sex life in order to make a good relationship. Is it really the end if you have to find other sexual things to do? At least you are getting laid, right?

    All apologies for the crazy rant.
     
  3. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

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    thunderseed im getting laid but on her terms i cant just get laid because im horney... I cant in the middle of the day just want sex... She is funny about things and even thats a issue me getting sex on the regular.. I get it like every 2 weeks maybe
     
  4. saltyjack

    saltyjack New Member

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    Great rant! There is much wisdom there. People should stop telling other people what to do. Happiness is exercising free and unfettered good will. That also means not doing things you don't like to do. We do things for loved ones because we love them, as we care about their well-being also. Some are more giving than others. It's just the way it is. Accept your partners behavior or move on.
     
  5. Berend

    Berend New Member

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    Once of the best post replies I've ever read. Great!
     
  6. tomakehersmile

    tomakehersmile New Member

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    Well it seems we're all just gonna say you hit it perfectly Thunderseed.. I didn't get oral for... well.. longer than you could imagine.. but i am now and i'll tell you that i love it because she WANTS to, not because i expect her to.. You really need to look at your priorities and expectations in your relationships.. If oral is make or break for you then do what you gotta do.. But don't look back and think about all the other great things you liked or perhaps loved about her and have regrets because of what your dick thought it needed :)
     
  7. 12barblues

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    i had the exact opposite. my ex wife didnt enjoy intercourse. It was uncomfortable for her, so we just didnt do it often...maybe twice a year. but we became very adept at pleasing each other in other ways. and our relationship lasted 30 years... and it actually wasnt the end of the world to not "fuck". So i have to agree with thunder...i think you talk about it with her and if your not getting what you want...you decide if its worth ending the relationship. but in my opinion, it can be dealt with...
     
  8. Dragon_Fire

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    This is the second thread you've started on this subject in just over 2 months. (See - Getting new Girl friend to give oral )

    Your relationship is pretty new, you haven't invested a lot of time in it. If oral sex is this important to you, I suggest you move on and find someone else before you get in too deep with this person. Otherwise, if you're sure she's "The One" find the positives and focus on them, putting oral sex to the back of your mind.


     
  9. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

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    Well u are rigth i should have it at the back of my mind and unfortuanly i somewhat try to let it be but i think when it comes to her general selfishness it reangers me right back over and remind me of what i aint getting from her.. I dont demand for my woman to lay down and have sex on command but i feel like if i have to go threw a song and dance or just put on a guilt trip to get u to have sex then its crazy... Guess i just need more from here than what she is willing to give.
     
  10. Gecko

    Gecko New Member

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    It sounds like there is more to this than sex. There comes a time in some relationships where the people have to decide if they are in the right relationship. Don't mix up not getting head with something like she is selfish and controlling, and I want someone who is going to be a partner, not a boss or mom.

    I agree with the other posts on the sexual issues. Discuss with her what she dislikes about it. Could be a previous partner was abusive and forced her to do oral. That can make her not want to do oral and become selfish and controlling as a way not to get in that situation again. Shit! I would have loved sex every couple of weeks or so. I went for 3 1/2 years without having sex with my wife before she came to me and asked me for sex. Not getting head is not the end of the world, and I say that knowing that getting oral is my favorite thing (well, unless I meet up with thunderseed and she teaches me some new things, but that is not likely to happen). Focus on building a good foundation for your relationship, or face the decision that you may be with the wrong partner.

    Sorry if the post was all over the place. The last couple of days I have felt like I have ADD and my mind goes all over the place.