GF won't use protection

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ryeguy, May 26, 2007.

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  1. ryeguy

    ryeguy New Member

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    Hey,

    Me and my girlfriend have been together and having sex for 8 months now. However, she never allows me to use a condom, so I just use the pullout method. It's worked so far, but I know how dangerous it is and I don't like the feeling of not really having the ball in my field (no pun intended), with precum being a factor. She doesn't want to go on the pill because she "doesn't agree with it, it's unnatural", and she doesn't want to use condoms because she doesn't like how it feels.

    I guess my question would be, is there a condom out there that feels almost natural that anyone has tried? What about the ultra thins?

    Is there any other method of control that would be feasible?
     
  2. slim25

    slim25 New Member

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    Have you both been tested? Have you tried the ultra thin condoms. They are pretty good. Other than that can't really help you, sorry. Just be careful and sensible i guess.
     
  3. On_Top

    On_Top New Member

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    Um, pregnancy is a serious problem. It's not like this girl doesn't know how to give a bj or something. It's an issue.
    You're worried about getting pregnant which you should be. I don't know why it's up to you to figure out a way of protection... I mean, hell, it's gonna be her 10 months of weight gain if she gets pregnant.
    There are other forms of birth control that don't involve the pill, but however do involve hormones. And there's always getting your tubes tied.

    I know I'm kinda sounding unreasonable and it's late at night but I would smack her and give her a dose of reality. Pullout is hardly a birth control method. She should suck it up and use a condom or use the money she would have spent on condoms on a book of baby names.

    (I know I sound harsh)
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I suggest you use some form of birth control, but I agree with your girlfriend that there isn't a condom invented that feels close to natural sex for either man or woman. The other thing is that condoms are good for STD prevention where you don't know the STD status of your partner, but really bad for birth control, only 85% reliable. I have advised my teenage children to use condoms if the STD status of their partner is unknown, but always back up condoms with another form of birth control, because they aren't reliable (I wish those who kept on saying condoms, condoms, condoms would get a reality check!).

    One hormone-free birth control option for your girlfriend could be the IUD. One brand of IUD had some bad publicity during the 1970's, but that device has been off the market for many decades. Today the IUD is very safe and extremely reliable, more reliable than the birth control pill and a lot more reliable than condoms!
     
  5. HouseHunny

    HouseHunny New Member

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    I agree with the other posters. You need to put your foot down and take control of your own life. If you are not ready to bring a child into the world, then spare yourself from problems that you did have control over. IUD's are a good way to go. Enforce the No glove, no love rule because the last thing this world needs is another child being brought into the world that was brought in for the wrong reasons. That child will suffer consequences much more severe than the ones you will go through.
     
  6. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I don't want to start the day out being confrontational, it's not my intent. I would like to ask where you got your facts/percentages. Condoms are 98% effective in the prevention of pregnancy. Latex condoms are effective in the prevention of passing STD's. Polyurethane and lambskin are less effective than latex condoms in the prevention of STD's because they have larger pores. The only 85-86% number I found was that in the first year of use condoms are 86% effective in the prevention of pregnancy, or that the first year of using a condom is the time you are more likely to misuse a condom, which could increase the chances of pregnancy (12%?). What's the reality check?
     
  7. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    To the original poster I have these thoughts:
    You both sound young. IF she knows the condoms make sex feel different, it's safe to assume she has had more than just you as a sexual partner, which means it's safe to assume that she has had unprotected sex with at least one other partner, which means it's safe to assume that her STD status is not foolproof even if she has been tested. Protect yourself. Unless you know that this is the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with, don't sacrifice your own wisdom and your own future for the opportunity to have sex. One person does not make all of the decisions in a relationship; they are made together. If the two of you cannot have a conversation and come to an agreement, it sounds like you need to be a past partner of hers...... not a current one.

    I catch hints that she may have religious beliefs regarding contraception. My rebuttal against those beliefs is that, to my understanding, those who generally do not believe in the use of contraception, also do not condone pre-marital sex. I find it hard to agree with using one's religion to defend one thing, but then disobeying one's religion to participate in another.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    No, this is not the number, recent Australian studies have put lifetime condom usage at only 85% effective. Condoms have been readily available in Australia from the early 1920s (a time when I think they were illegal in the US), and from then until now they have been notorious for unreliability and unplanned pregnancy. It wasn't until the original high-dose birth control pills came onto the market in the 1960s did we get reliable birth control. I cannot understand whey we now turn our backs on the most reliable form of birth control, and go for a latex barrier that can slip off on withdrawl, fall off during thrusting, or tear because it's the wrong size.

    Pills today have lower hormone doses than the 1960's, but don't suit every woman. But there are non-pill non-latex alternatives that are very reliable.
     
  9. Elisabeta

    Elisabeta New Member

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    If my reply sounds harsh, it's because I'm being harsh.

    Forget the condom issue. Your girlfriend sounds as if she's not playing with a full deck. Sounds to me like she *wants* to get pregnant. In any event, she clearly doesn't care what happens, so, if I were you, I'd part ways and find a girl whose thinking is more grounded in reality.

    ...oh, and get yourself tested for STDs before you begin a new relationship, after you end the old relationship with the Queen of Denial.
     
  10. Ass Focka

    Ass Focka New Member

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    She's trying to force you into marriage by having your kid! :eek

    Tell her you're not ready for children and if she doesnt use protection you'll leave her

    Do it before she gets pregnant!
     
  11. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    You need to protect yourself from her getting pregnant and from STDs. The only way to do this is via condoms or some form of birth control, or not having sex! You need to think of youself and whether the consequences are worth it.
     
  12. Joe

    Joe
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    I agree with all the other posters. She's either really, really stupid or wants to get pregnant.

    Yes, there are other forms of fairly reliable birth control. Even the rhythm method is better than nothing and is 100% natural, but for it to work at all the woman must want it to work, and I have doubts that you can trust your gf.

    And yes, some condoms provide more sensitivity. I used to use skins. They feel more natural but do not provide protection from STDs -- only from pregnancy.
     
  13. CyCo_SoMaTiC

    CyCo_SoMaTiC New Member

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    Sound like my first GF; altho she had been checked and her tubes had been tied. She said that she was allergic to latex. We tried lambskin and she said that made her hurt too. Luckily I'm not with her anymore cause she was crazy.
     
  14. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    I agree. I would atleast do something so she doesn't get pregnant.
     
  15. Dreama

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    I'm sorry, but if I were you, I'd do the smart thing and either break up with her or refuse to have sex with her until she agrees to use some kind of protection. Seriously. This is a very dangerous thing, and things could fast go down the shitter. You really don't want to ruin your life do you? Give it some thought, and do what you think is best, but you should really consider this advice.
     
  16. JS1980

    JS1980 New Member

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    My fiance and I use VCF half the time. It's a small spermicidal film that is inserted in the vagina 15 minutes before sex. I really can't tell it's in there and I get to cum inside her...best feeling in the world if you've never orgasmed inside a woman.
    VCF is about $8 for 12 at Wal-Mart. We've been using it for 3 years and have never had a problem. I believe it's marked as being 99% effective.
     
  17. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Pulling out is the Russian Roulette of birth control methods...seriously.

    It's time for you to put your foot down. Tell her that under no uncertain terms are you ready to become a father and that you will withhold sex as long as she continues to refuse to use any kind of protection.

    She sounds really odd to me. I've never heard of a young women who refused to use any kind of protection unless it was for religious reasons. Is she Catholic or Mormon or something?
     
  18. MADDOGHARPER

    MADDOGHARPER New Member

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    Good reading....

    This seems to have got a few people fired up with some real and great points made.
    I would be very intereted to hear how this turns out and remember there really are more fish in the sea, although I would prefer you come to a peaceful middle ground on this issue as you have been together for a little while, maybe book in with your GP for that check and some expert advice, hell take her with you!!! lol, Mark.
     
  19. Steel

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    Unless you want a father’s day card next June….. wear a condom!
     
  20. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    I wouldn't stand for that baloney. Tell her that there has to be some form of protection, or you aren't going to have sex with her. You do have power in this situation as well.
     
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