GF has had anal before, but won't with me?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ithrin, May 1, 2007.

  1. Ithrin

    Ithrin New Member

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    Im 19 and my girlfriend is 18, we've been together for 6 months and have a good sex life with each other. My question is why will my girlfriend not have anal sex with me, but used to do it with her ex-boyfriend all the time?
    Her and her ex-boyfriend never had sex so they would just do anal, she says that the only reason they did it was b/c she would never let him have sex with her so she just let him do her in the butt. She hates her ex-boyfriend, and even hated him while they were going out and finally broke up with him for good, and has not talked to him since they broke up a year ago. She has explained to me what it was like and said that first it would hurt but after a bit then it would feel okay, but they would never go till he came in her. I think the reason she wil not do it with me is because she never liked it in the first place, they only did it because he insisted. And I am not the type of guy to force a girl to do anything. We have tryed before but before she will let me start to stick it in her butt, she backs out and justs wants to have normal sex. I'm NOT saying that regular sex isnt good enough with her, because it is! But it just makes me jealous that she would do anal with her ex-bf, but not with me, even though she claims she loves me more then anything. (which I believe her and I really love her to!) Also i find weird is that she loves it when I stick my finger in her ass while were having sex. If we never do anal that will be okay, but honestly i'm just alittle jealous and curious, why wont she atleast try it with me? iv'e never done anal before!
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Perhaps your girlfriend has negative associations with anal because of her ex-boyfriend. She hates her ex, she used to have anal sex with her ex, therefore she hates anal sex. In that case, there's not much you can do to change her mind. Just be patient and wait for her to be ready. Do not pressure her.

    Also, if you have difficulty understanding why your girlfriend doesn't want to have anal sex, then try inserting an object about the size of a cucumber up your own ass. Then you'll have an idea of what it feels like.
     
  3. Ithrin

    Ithrin New Member

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    Ok then, its not just me or my fault. I agree puss_in_boots, isnt it sad how past relationships can affect one's thinking in the next relationship.
     
  4. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    It is sad. And no, it's not your fault. Sometimes things like that affect people for the rest of their lives and don't want to go thru it again. Especially if you hate that other person. Maybe she didn't like it in the first place.
     
  5. Ithrin

    Ithrin New Member

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    i'll just let it go for now, and maybe later i will bring it up again and see if she wants to or not, until then just regular vaginal intercourse like usual...lol
     
  6. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    I'm feeling really old right about now.
     
  7. Princess_Olga

    Princess_Olga New Member

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    You're looking at this all wrong...The ex didn't get to enjoy her pussy- YOU DO. This allows for a deeper/more intimate connection, which I'm guessing the ex didn't get. Ditto on your girlfriend having negative associations with anal sex because of him. Why would she care for having a big thing stuck up her ass when you can pleasure her in her pussy? You are the winner here, appreciate it!

    Geez, the sleep deprivation is getting to me- I'm getting crasser by the minute!
     
  8. sexaholic

    sexaholic New Member

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    Crass, but to the point, and true.
     
  9. Head Jones IV

    Head Jones IV New Member

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    It depends. For one it sounds like your guys are just getting started so you cannot rush it. You gotta show her that your willing to take your time. Believe me rushing into anal is something a female doesn't want to think about.

    Also, was she happy giving up the ass? It may be that she didn't enjoy it and that's why her past boyfriend is just that - past.
     
  10. GreyGoose

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    Seems the anal brings her to think some negative past. I say just drop it and leave it be for the time being. Enjoy the fact she allows to have sex with her at all. Wait some time hint on it again. Maybe while your eating her finger her pussy then slowly slide a finger in her ass as well.
     
  11. rolandgf

    rolandgf New Member

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    I say just give it time. I was with my wife for 6 years before we tried anal. The subject had never even came up until then. She was pregnant and got all kind of interesting ideas . She sprung it on me all at once. I am also the only man she has ever been with . Sometimes it just takes time especially with something like anal sex. She was my first in the anal department too and now we have several toys for stimulating both holes at the same time while she sucks me off. Better than I could have ever dreamed of. I say just give it some time and see what happens.
     
  12. ~emm~

    ~emm~ New Member

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    my opinion... brings back memories with the other guy, maybe after a bit of time she will do it? give her a break then have a chat
     
  13. thekid12345

    thekid12345 New Member

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    Just Talk to her one of the things i have learned from reading threads here is that nothing will ever happen unless you express your desires.
     
  14. nicesurprise

    nicesurprise New Member

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    Definitely brings back memories of the other guy. Sounds like she enjoys it though so in time she may warm to the idea again.
     
  15. Nachria

    Nachria New Member

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    Maybe she does not trust you enough.
     
  16. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Not to sound harsh but that is how relationships go. There were certain things former gfs did with their exs that they would not do with me. I am sure they did things with me that they would not do with new bfs. It is something that you will have to realizes happens in a relationship. From the sounds of it she probably has a bad association with anal and does not want to do it again. Probably the best approach is not to bring it up for six months to a year. Once that time passes approach her again about it.
     
  17. nnnnn

    nnnnn New Member

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    Do you really want to remind her of her ex while youre having sex with her?
     
  18. naughtynid81

    naughtynid81 New Member

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    Perhaps u are larger then he was?
     
  19. victoria

    victoria New Member

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    she surely let him cum in her ass because theres no way a guy that pushy is going to take no for an answer....i think shes not being honest with you....and i think she is keeping this pleasure from you to exercise a bit of control that she is afraid of loosing with you...she probably also swallowed for him and let him ejaculate in her vagina... this is what i guess based on your story and my experience in counseling.

    does she let you ejaculate in her mouth and vagina?
     
  20. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    spot on, words out of my mouth