Getting your body turned on

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Temra, Aug 24, 2006.

  1. Temra

    Temra New Member

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    I need help, I do not know what things my body likes. Whenever my boyfriend and I start getting into it, my mind is sort of turned on, but my body never is. No matter what he does, where he kisses, or anything like that, it just doesn't get turned on. Because of this, when we make love, its not good. I climax, but all it does is just tire me out. It never used to be like this when he and I first started making love, which was two years ago, but now I get never seem to get satisfied. I have no idea what I am doing wrong. And I am sick of it only being ok, I want it to be amazing again. Is there anything that I could try or anything?
     
  2. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Is he doing more than kissing you during foreplay? Is he giving you oral? After you've been with someone for a while you need more/different stimulation to keep it fresh. He also has to learn what turns you on. It could be any number of things but he either has to experiment and find them or you have to tell him. What kind of fantasies do you have? There are tons of things you can try to spice it up.
     
  3. Temra

    Temra New Member

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    He does more than kiss me, but it just doesn't want to work. I guess you could say that I am sort of new at this. He was my first, so all my experience has been with him. Either way, I have always been a little up tight about making love before I did it for the first time, so I do not even know what turns me on. I have been trying to find out, but everything that I have tried just doesn't want to work.
     
  4. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    It's ok to be new no problem there. I hope a young guy like him is just inexperienced and it's not that he's not trying hard enough.

    The key to good sex is experimentation in my opinion. Try different stuff and see what works. Try learning about your body responses through your own masturbation, that's a great way.

    Some basic variations assuming you don't want advanced stuff try different speeds of sex, maybe a little rougher sometimes, different places or rooms. Oral is great because you might cum easier which will of course will work you up. Try some sex toys maybe, sexy underwear, little fantasy role playing, some dirty talk, watch porn together.

    When you think about sex do you fantasize about anything in particular? a certain place? A lot of sex is in the mind. Just my 2 cents but release the inhibitions and the body follows. Good luck, practice hard ;)
     
  5. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    You need to practice alone. You need to learn what turns your body on. It's your responsibility, your body. Do you own any toys? Do you practice self pleasure?

    I'll start with those two questions....and we'll go from there. :)
     
  6. Temra

    Temra New Member

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    I do not own any toys and sometimes I do, whenever I get turned on, which is very rarely. I guess you could say that when it comes to sex and talking about it, I am a little on the shy and embarrassed side.
     
  7. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    At your age and experience that is exactly where you should be! No worries. Sex is a developmental process like everything else we go through. Perhaps start my self pleasure with the goal of getting turned on.... not waiting to be turned on in order to self pleasure. Some recommend a "sex journal": journaling as you would in a diary, regarding your sex life, alone and with partner. In what ways do you touch yourself that turn you on? In what ways does your partner touch you that turn you on? What sorts of things were you doing/thinking about when you recognized that you were suddenly feeling frisky? That type of thing. I also recommend investing in a toy, simply a basic vibrator. Learn how to use it on your own first, then introduce it to your partner and your joint sex life. Learn how you like to be touched, not how you like a particular person to touch you. I believe there is a difference.
     
  8. Temra

    Temra New Member

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    Hmmm, writing a journal like that does sound good. I think I will try that. Personally, when it comes to sex though, I am a little on the traditional side and so is my partner, so I do not think a vibrator would work on him. I will try it by myself though. Thank you for your suggestions. :)
     
  9. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I don't mean ON him..... ya'all aren't ready for that yet. I just mean allowing him to either watch, or use the toy on you. :) Most men adore using a toy to pleasure a woman and watch what happens.

    Now, watch the journal. You want to be honest in it. In order to do so, you want to make sure it's kept in a spot where it's very private..... cuz (honestly) a sex journal can't always be about hot sex; it's gotta have the complaints and the dull stuff in it too! We don't want any hurt feelings over a lover finding this book on accident. K?
     
  10. Temra

    Temra New Member

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    Ah, fair enough then. I just automatically assumed, because I have seen and heard a few people saying that they use it on their partner.

    And I will keep that in mind. Thank you. :)
     
  11. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Some of us do use it on our partners.... but that's far down the road honey... and a totally different thread. A vibrator can help you learn more about your own body and what feels good. As you develop, you move up to bigger (in theory, not always literally) and better toys.
     
  12. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    And Temra has far as turning yourself on all you need is your own hand and your mind to start with if you don't have or want any toys. Maybe some erotic reading will get you in the mood while you are alone. Internet has lots of free places to read sex stories. That's a less visual way to stimulate your mind and then let your hand roam to stimulate and learn about your body's responses.
     
  13. MammaMia12

    MammaMia12 New Member

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    Just find out what turns you on... not much more to say than that.