Getting new Girl friend to give oral

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by gettingitin, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

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    Ok my new girlfriend ive been with for 3 months has made excuses of why she dont im like seriously... Honestly i love sex, But everyonce and a while i like to just get sucked off. Mainly during the monthly days.. So 2 times out a month maybe. We have talked about it but it just seems like she gets offended and turns it into is that all u want type thing, She turns my wants into making it where i feel like i should be shameful for asking... how do u let someone know this is what u want sexually. I mean should i just shove it in her face... Nah thats a slap right, but how should i go about explaining myself because woman know how to make a man feel shameful for asking for anything sexual. lol Is that all u think of me
    .. Jeeze
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Doing it to her first isn't a bad start dude!
     
  3. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

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    I do .... Oh i dont mind it... Just she acts like she has a issue in return of things... I mean she will give me all the sex i want just she claims she dont get nothing out of oral...
     
  4. qcumbr1

    qcumbr1 New Member

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    Not all women like giving head. Seems you found one that doesn't like to do it. Has she ever given you head?
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Is she selfish in other ways outside of sex? If so, then maybe she just is what she is.
    Or like qcumbr1 said, maybe she just hates doing it. Maybe she had a bad experience.
     
  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    Discuss it when things are not heated, have a compromise if you need, but do't keep score, too closely. Unless you take advantage of her and she would be right to complain, if she gets her needs filled she should not complain (unless it truly disgusts her to give oral)
     
  7. CTRx

    CTRx New Member

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    I've never really understood that. Imo a relationship should be equal, if I'm willing to do certain things that she likes, I don't think it's unrealistic to expect somewhat the same. Course it's difficult when she may have had a bad experience, like my last gf (she had a bad experience with somebody going down on her, so she wouldn't let me, though she loved blowing me, some would say that wasn't a problem, but I felt very guilty about it).
     
  8. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

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    Well i dont mind going down... Honestly i say it just cuts down on my ground work... If u get what im saying Go down as foreplay and she will either cum or get half way there so when you get into actual sex u dont have to go for 45 min or so.... I would like to think of myself as a OK lover but being trueful... She gets wetter than any woman i ever been with, Its like freaky but oh it turns me on so much. But im with you CTRx. I believe if i do something u like then u should do the same. But she said to me once that well she never asked me to.. Im thinking like yall she had a bad experience before maybe she had a boyfriend and thats all he wanted and forgoed sex.
    I know i have in the past became addicted to oral, Its like the only way to get me hard is for her to kiss or blow on it... Rediciolous right. But i guess it come from watching and dreaming over getting oral to much... So thats why i said earlier in my post that i prefer now to just get oral espcially if its great oral 2-3 times a month and mainly during those during that time days.
    When we talked she just said that she dont care to because she dont get anything out of it, (selfish) But then she had told me that she have done it twice before in her life( Inexperience) So it will or might just be awful. But then she told me that its something i would have to be on husband status to get. ( I see why u aint stayed in a relationship) I just say u got to lay ground work to keep or be in a relationship... But im at a lost i tried talking but she gets a tone into her voice like damn back to this again... But i really like her but the question is will i be strong enough when another girl that willing to blow my socks off comes around... My quote has allways been is that when u fuck me fuck me good, Because if another person could you know they would.
     
  9. arkinkykummer

    arkinkykummer New Member

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    I think one of her past relationships where the guy just wanted oral is part of it.

    It might have a her a bit cautious of doing it.
     
  10. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    Maybe she thinks she isn't very good, or has had a bad experience. Maybe just the sight of cock scares her. Try lots of mutual masturbation during foreplay, get her used to the feel of it. Then maybe ask for the occasional lick without presuring her for more. Given time she will them come round.

    Alternatively,just clean it a bit for her, haha.
     
  11. ply

    ply
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    Telll her to go down or head back to town. No way you want headless sex for the rest of your life. Time to give her a chance to change her mind or change her mate
     
  12. 12barblues

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    i never want to tell someone to runaway....but all i can hear from your post is that she makes you feel guilty for wanting something sexual...and i dont know if "sexual desire " is something you can "talk through"...you either have it or you dont....i cant tell you how many times i heard that from my ex..."all you want is sex" .. all because i wanted it more than twice a month...ultimately you start to feel that youre "unattractive" to your spouse, and some weird feelings start creeping into the relationship. i mean, lets face it ..we all need to feel attractive to the one we love...
    if you stay, who knows, maybe 30 years from now you'll lean in to kiss your wife,and she'll push you away because she's trying to watch "benji" on the T.V. ....yes, that happened and yes i started packing shortly after...
     
  13. 12barblues

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    hear a little bitterness there? lol...i'm sorry, its just that i lost 30 years trying to "work through it"...all the while being made to feel bad about being how i am...so i think it's imperative that you resolve this issue immediately, and dont just let it fester.....i'm just trying to save you some time. best of luck, i hope your situation turns out better than mine did...
     
  14. lbushwalker

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    Sadly that was also my own experience after 32 years of marriage.
    Kids got all her attention then came the dogs and me well sweet FA, not even holding hands!
    Left and been happy ever since ;)
     
  15. RodneyBMcThrustin

    RodneyBMcThrustin New Member

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    When and if she concedes and does it, make sure you're clean and smelling good down there. Maybe she'll want a return visit if you are!
     
  16. Colette

    Colette New Member

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    I agree with Barblues and Bushwalker. Things don't get better in this area. They just don't. I spent 18 years waiting and it happened pretty much as they both describe. Glad in a way to know I'm not the only one....but I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
     
    #16 Colette, Feb 13, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2012
  17. coramfuncpl00

    coramfuncpl00 New Member

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    I know your pain bro, I had a girlfriend that was that way also...

    Here's what you do:
    this is NOT going to change overnight period...so if your willing spend the time...

    First: Back off of it for a while, don't mention it, don't talk about it, don't bring it up for at LEAST a month maybe slightly longer...

    Second: continue doing everything else sexually, don't pull back something you do now out of spite. That just starts an argument.

    Third: wait for a special occasion - holiday, YOUR bday(not hers lol), aniversary, etc. Make a really nice day for her, make it special, something she will really appreciate(not so much financial wise but Romance wise), then go into the bedroom for a passionate night, when your in there, that is the time to ask, be cute about it, no, "can I have head now??" lol... lead into it, by asking her how her day was, what was her favorite part, did you make it special for her, did she have fun, etc.

    Then gently ask if she could just give you a few oral licks or just a little oral, because it would make the day as complete for you as it is for her...Say it's already perfect, I just would love this memory...I'm only asking this once...

    Be clean, be smell free, trim or shave...be prepared, its going to suck, DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT cum in her mouth or on her(unless you want to ensure that would be the first and last time).

    after that gently and nice say it was good, don't go crazy BS'ing her...if your lucky she will realize it isn't that bad and be willing to do it more and more...if not that may be your only chance...

    Other things that may help get it that night, blow job gel find her favorite flavor fruit, pop rocks, etc.

    And understand if a woman truly doesn't want to do something, it just isn't going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it...and if head is that important to you, move on because the temptation to cheat is just going to overcome you. If oral isn't that important it will be a sacrifice for your relationship.
     
    #17 coramfuncpl00, Feb 13, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2012
  18. ply

    ply
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    And if all that doesn't work, get a firm grip on her ears/love handles
     
  19. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    ^^ If that doesn't work just wank all over her face while she's asleep.
     
  20. thunderseed

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    I was about to say she is probably one of many girls who despises giving head, and that perhaps you should just give up the quest.... until I read that you give her oral all the time. That is unfair, and I would go as far to say that if she will not return that favour, then you should stop eating her out. Just deny her of that and see how she feels.

    Perhaps doing that will force her to realize that a sexual relationship is supposed to be equal. That's just ridiculous. If you give someone oral, it should be returned. If I gave my partner my all and pleased them but I never got anything in return, I would not be happy either.

    I know that probably isn't the best way to deal with it but that seriously pissed me off reading that.

    No, she shouldn't be making you feel guilty or ashamed. That is unhealthy. It sounds like she might have some major insecurities.

    When it comes to anything that my partner wants, I would do it. Even if it's something that I am against. (But then again there are only 2 things I am against and those are foot fetishes and the cheating cuckold fetish) BUT really, if my partner fulfilled one of my fantasies, I would think a lot about doing those things for him, and I would over all make an exception.

    I'm not sure what her excuses are, but what if you encourage her by telling her she doesn't have to deep throat and choke herself on it, that she can just suck it and use her hand if the size scares her, and come up with some kind of exception.

    If her excuse is the taste, then go on a diet the day before, eat things to make your cum taste really nice. And if her excuse is that it's "dirty" then take her in a shower and let her watch you wash it LoL.

    Use a really tasty edible lubricant. Use whip cream even! Make it into a fun relaxing game for her.

    You have got to be able to come to some kind of agreement.

    Maybe even coax her into just licking it first. Start her off slow.

    Perhaps her insecurities make her feel like you are pushing her into it. I'm not sure how you have asked her to suck you off before, but have you tried making it seem relaxing and enjoyable? Like when she is really turned on, just gently ask her and appear really into her. When my man used to appear really turned on, even his facial expressions would make me want to do anything for him, i just loved pleasing him!