Getting laid...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Obsidian, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. Obsidian

    Obsidian New Member

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    Ok so I'm a relatively young man. But I feel that I'm ready to encounter the aspect of sex.

    I'm tired of masturbating. I just want the feeling and to experience sex.

    I will admit I've had some chances. But before I take them I'm always finding my self nervous to go for it. Or feel that a girl will not like the fact that I hang left. Or size. Even though I am satisfied with the size for my age.

    I also don't want to ruin any friendship or whatever I have with a girl. I'm afraid I'll find it pleasuring during sex. But after, realize it was awkward. I really don't see myself thinking that but from what I hear friends say about sex it makes me think that it can completely change who you are as a person.

    Can anyone offer me some advice.

    Also... How should I approach a girl about wanting to have sex. Or if she approaches me. How do I answer or begin the process?

    Thanks
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    First of all, it's important to realize that 'the process' should take care of itself. It's not something you go into as something you're trying to 'accomplish'. If you are developing a relationship with a girl, and things are getting close, you'll know whether she is at the same level of intimacy as you.

    The 'relationship' part is important, as that helps ease the awkwardness. And undoubtedly, both of you will be at least relatively new at this, so take a deep breath and allow yourself the freedom to fumble around a bit ;) As far as the Art of Lovemaking, most of us learned through trial and error, so you're among good company.

    As a side note - don't attempt to immulate porn stars. Most porn is waaaaay off the deep end, compared to a good, real-life sexual experience.
     
  3. Obsidian

    Obsidian New Member

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    Thanks,

    I'm also rather nervous about cuming early. Any advice on how to handle or go through with that.
     
  4. Mr. G

    Mr. G Member

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    I think Rose already said close to everything that comes to my mind. Well put :)

    Communication is the key to the relationship, share your thoughts, hopes and fears.. When you feel that you're at the point in a relationship, when you feel you're ready to have sex with a girl, make sure you discuss about things like how does she feel about it? Is she sure she's ready for it. How about the birth control / STDs..

    It might sound hard, and it sure is hard to discuss openly about things like these for the first time, but if the relationship is on the right level, you should be fine (umh.. I'm starting to even confuse myself :p ..the main point is on what Rose said..)

    EDIT: Don't think you should worry about cumming early too much either. Most likely on your first time you will cum rather quickly as it's just so exiting and all.. I sure did. But it's not such a big deal.. intercourse is just one part of sex. I advise you not to stress too much about your first time. Let one thing lead to another. 'Learn her body.' Touch her and let her tell what feels good and what even better..

    You need to have intercourse quite a few times more before you can tell if still come to quickly (if this happens to be the case even on the first time..). You don't need to have a porn star -like stamina.. A resent survey claimed that the average length of intercourse is approximately 3 minutes.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    It happens all the time for young men. The best thing you can do is make sure you do other things for her pleasure before ever getting to intercourse. There's fingering (learn several techniques and change up, paying attention to her body language to see what she enjoys), there's ALWAYS oral! Again, learn variations about oral and clitoral manipulation.

    Understand this, as well: a woman may not orgasm her first several times having sex. It's normal - it's not a reflection of your sexual prowess. Just help her enjoy the intimacy. To a woman, that's VERY important.
     
  6. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    What everyone else said...just go with the flow, follow what your body (and hers) is telling you to do. It's really not hard once you get started...it comes quite naturally.

    As far as worrying about cumming too early...don't sweat it. Please her first by fingering her or eating her. Rub her, tease her, lick her until she rips holes in the sheets, (and do it all like you mean it!) and she won't care if you cum in 15 seconds or 15 minutes. After you're both spent, curl up with her and fall asleep. She'll want more every time she sees you!

    BD
     
  7. duck

    duck New Member

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    First is always the worst.
     
  8. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    Nervousness is very normal for the first time, but your body will get over that very quickly once the hormones kick in. Sex is natural and you already know the basics, just let it happen. Things will be a little awkward the first time, but the two of you will enjoy it very much and the awkwardness quickly goes away with the experience of learning what the two of you enjoy doing to each other.:dgrin



    Kissing is a good first step, IMO. If the kissing becomes more intense, you will know that is a signal to explore further. If at any point she shies away or backs off, it is not the right time to move ahead, but don't take it personally, she just might not be ready to take the plunge into sex. Let it happen naturally, don't force it. Many a time I've been shut down and had to wank it when I got home. If it is meant to be it will happen, if not, patience is a virtue men need in these situations.
     
  9. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    These are very normal insecurities for a young man thinking about having sex for the first time. You're worried about your size and your "hang," but the fact is very few women care about those things. All penises hang to the right or the left, depending. Again, don't make the mistake of thinking that what you see in porn is in any way representative of what real life sex is like. It's not.

    And also it probably will be pretty awkward the first couple of times and there's no way of getting around it. You can't expect to be an expert lover immediately.

    Of course I don't know what it's like for a guy, but (at least for me) losing my virginity didn't change me completely as a person. I thought it would too, but afterward I was still the same. We place so much emphasis on virginity, and in many parts of the world female virginity is still a commodity. Women are made to feel guilty and ashamed for losing theirs too soon, and men are made to feel the same for losing theirs too late. Anyhow, just keep in mind that it's all bullshit. When you do have sex you'll see that it's really not that big of a deal.

    Good luck with everything.
     
  10. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Go for it!

    The beauty of real sex is that it is interacion! A real human, body and soul, sharing with you on the deepest physical level! And it helps to reach those levels emotionally and spiritually as well.

    As a middle aged guy looking back on my youth, I regret not having done it more! As long as you act in love, you don't have to worry! Go for it! And be a good listener!
     
  11. cbrmale

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    I will echo JuicyB that my one regret is not having had sex younger and more often. In many ways I have made up for it, so it's a strange regret.

    My experience is that unless you are paying for it, sex generally comes out of relationships. One thing about young relationships is they aren't meant to last forever, but they are a part of growing up and maturing and learning about ourselves and learning about the world around us. I look back on my young relationships as being a combination of friendship and infatuation, and not the true and deep love I later found. But I only know this by looking back, and at the time they were all wonderful in their own ways. So my first point is that you shouldn't worry that she's a friend, because this is very common.

    I come from a different country and a different era, but when a relationship had formed, then the progression to sex was as natural as asking for a first date, and then asking to see her again. I just knew that she wanted to have sex and that's when it happened. Something like passionate hugging and kissing on her sofa progressing to her bedroom without a word being said. So when when all the ingredients come together, it's easy because you will know when she wants to have sex with you. You've apparently been in this space already, so it's just a matter of going with the flow.

    It must be the amount of porn around these days featuring oversized actors, but when I was younger penis size was the last thing I worried about. Ditto being a sex expert for my first time. I took sex as being nice and cementing our relationship, and something to enjoy for the moment. And women? Even today, my wife enjoys the hugging and kissing and naked intimacy as much (or more) than anything else. So for first time just go with the flow, relax and be as confident as you can, and it will be good for both of you.
     
  12. yitbos

    yitbos New Member

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    You should never get tired of masturbating. You just need to mix it in with everything else.