Getting her to do something...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Tech, Mar 29, 2008.

  1. Tech

    Tech Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I preferred my unfortunate ex doing this because she was so into it.... but anyway......


    this person im seeing, she wont let me give her my load over her face or even her swallow it.... sure, im a considerate person and NEVER force anyone into anything they dont want to, just whatever they are comfortable with.

    but is there any way that I can get her to allow me to do that? Whats the best way? :)
     
    #1 Tech, Mar 29, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2008
  2. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    If she isn't comfortable with it, don't expect her to do it. Case closed. If she already knows you would like to do it, and it's already on the table, she may well decide differently on her own. If not, that's something you should accept, if you want to be in a relationship with her. I feel that trying to persuade someone to do something they are truly uncomfortable with is wrong.
     
  3. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south of england
  4. bucky

    bucky New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago suburb
    Drugs and booze work pretty good. Sorry guys THAT was not funny.
    Some women are just not into it and if you can't except no then it is time to move on
     
  5. Tech

    Tech Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks..... *sigh*, hate it when people dont know the full story and jump to conclusions, so typical and wrong.... just shows the type that exist and think they know it all when clearly they dont and don't like to try and understand or think about where the other person is coming from :)


    moving on.....


    Thanks.... hey i just wanna make her smile/happy/whatever. it just would be nice if she could do something that I would like her to do :)
     
  6. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Well, you didn't give us the whole story, did you? You simply asked whether it was possible to make your girlfriend more accepting of swallowing or facials, and the short answer is no. If you can't figure out why, then next time you masturbate try ejaculating into a cup and throwing it in your face. If the idea of that seems disgusting to you, then maybe that will give you some insight on why your girlfriend doesn't want it done to her.
    Ejaculating into her face is apparently not the way to go about doing that.
     
  7. Tech

    Tech Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    hmm... i guess you don't quite get it either. some women like it, others dont. i was just curious to know if there was a way to make her come to the idea, thats all! jeez.... so much agression

    big mistake coming back to the forums. I get it. Thank-you.
     
  8. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    What else is there to "get"...apart from your inquiry as to how to "get" your girlfriend to like taking a load in the face? You haven't asked anything else.
    No aggression at all. I was simply asking whether you'd be willing to accept yours or any other man's semen in your face, which was a way of giving you some insight into your girlfriend's point of view.
    Nope, sorry. It's neither my, nor anyone else's fault (apart from your own) if you don't like the answers you've been given.
     
  9. bucky

    bucky New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago suburb
     
  10. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Nobody was being aggressive. Puss is just being realistic. You should not expect someone to want to do something you would not in turn, want yourself. So, if she does not like something, love her for who she is. I'm sure that she does do more than a few things for you to make you happy. Plus, some people find facials degrading and disrespectful. I happen to be one of those people. I would never expect my husband to do something he found repulsive or disrespectful.

    And a word of advice to you personally. If you want people to agree with you, and take the generally passive aggressive way in which you interact with others with a smile, you should hire people to do so. This is a place where one should expect and come to appreciate the truth. You ask what we think? You get what we really think! OMG, Who would have thought?? I know, the idea is pretty foreign to you, but it's what people in reality do. Perhaps you should have a go at respecting that, and not acting as if you're the victim of someone else's aggression, because you clearly, are not.
     
  11. bcuzbcuz

    bcuzbcuz New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2005
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sweden
    My wife and I just talked about the thought of ejaculating on the other's face. Yes, we've seen it on loads of porno films, I get the idea that porno films need the "money shot". What I don't get is why anyone would either want to do it or like having it done to them?

    My wife says she'll swallow my sperm just as soon as I swallow my own sperm first.
     
  12. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    And the problem is? ;):D
     
  13. bucky

    bucky New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago suburb
    I agree with BD. If you expect her to swallow the least you can do is be willing to taste it. Maybe she should give you a great big sloppy kiss even if she is a spitter. Doesn't really taste that bad, more of a texture thing.
     
  14. Kanto

    Kanto Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2007
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Out there
    You could ask it of her for your birthday.
     
  15. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    I see this word used erroneously for "giving" much too often. Sometimes a person says they're a "considerate lover" when what they really mean is that they're a "giving lover", or an "attentive lover". Time for a vocabulary lesson. *puts on teacher cap*

    Definitions for "considerate", according to Answers.com: Having or marked by regard for the needs or feelings of others; full of polite concern for the well-being of others; respectful of others; kind and thoughtful. In essence, a "considerate lover" is one who considers their partner's feelings in regards to sexual activities. In other words, a considerate lover is concerned about whether or not their partner is comfortable performing/participating in certain sex acts; their partner's comfort level is very important to them.

    If you are a genuinely considerate lover, a partner's reluctance should make you want to end the discussion then and there...because their feelings take precedence over your desires. I realize that empathy doesn't come naturally to most people...it seems to me that we all have different capacities for it, but it is a learned skill. It's a truly wonderful, emotionally rewarding skill, at that; if practiced regularly, you'll actually get a satisfying high out of it. What you can do is envision the situation in reverse, imagine that your gf has suggested a sex act that you find degrading/disgusting/unacceptable for whatever reason, and imagine how you would want her to respond to your reluctance. Imagine the sense of admiration you would feel for her if she made it clear that your feelings are so important to her that she wouldn't want you to do something you aren't comfortable with. Imagine the love high you would get out of having such a straightforward demonstration of her love and respect for you. It gives you a warm feeling inside, doesn't it? This is the stuff that healthy, functional relationships are made of...this is definitely a skill worth practicing :)

    Not to mention, people like to know that they're appreciated for who they are. If you express disappointment in your lover because they feel uncomfortable performing a certain sex act, what are you saying to them? You're saying, "You'll never really be a good enough lover. Because you won't fulfill all of my desires, you'll always be lacking, to my mind." It doesn't matter that you haven't said the words, that's what she's going to "hear" in her mind, and that's a sure-fire way to throw a bucket of cold water on a woman's libido :ugh Making her feel inadequate will make her want you less, it will make her lose enthusiasm for sleeping with you.

    *raises hand* Same here. To some people, there's an inherent association between facials and throwing something in someone's face, and we all know that it isn't nice to throw things at someone's face...it's the ultimate insult. In fact, because of the humiliation/subjugation connotations, it is used by some couples as a dom/sub sex act. You may not view it that way, but if she does, well, you can't force someone to alter their perceptions. Sometimes they change with time and experience, and sometimes they don't. *shrugs*

    Swallowing is a whole other kettle of fish. For some, there's a psychological gross-out component (some people find it as disturbing as if they were being asked to swallow a live goldfish), and then there's the viscosity and taste, which can vary drastically from guy to guy...What you can do is try altering your diet and see if she'd be willing to give it a taste test: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=284778
    Your ex may not have had a problem with it because none of us shares the exact same sense of taste...there's a reason why some people love a certain food that others can't stand. Pineapple and cinnamon seem to be the two dietary additions that have the most influence on cum flavor. Drinking lots of water will keep it runny.

    Finding ways to make every aspect of sex as pleasurable for your partner as possible is a very considerate thing to do ;) And I promise she will love you for it!

    P.S. Bucky, tasting it is not the same thing as swallowing it, hon. To be truly equitable, you'd have to each swallow 1/2 the load. Which actually sounds pretty damn fun to me :brow
     
  16. bucky

    bucky New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago suburb
    Sorry for the miscommunication Bluesy. By "sloppy kiss" I meant share the whole load with him and you can bet your sweet bippy it is fun.:dgrin:tup
     
  17. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Ahhhhh, a man after my own heart :tup :brow
     
  18. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Mine's kinda sweet and a little tangy actually...my wife describes it as "sweet peppercorn dressing". Salad anyone? :D (Just kidding!)

    BD
     
  19. bucky

    bucky New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago suburb
    Sound like a gooey sweet-tart. Mine is a little more tart than gooey. MOW says it depends on what I eat and drink.
    Isn't it a little strange for two guys to be discussing the taste of their jizz. Nothing will ever surprise me about :sf.
     
  20. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Ooh, yummy! I think I'd rather have it straight from the bottle, thankyouverymuch ;) :brow

    Yeah, I learned that a looooong time ago :lol