Getting freaky?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by RodneyBMcThrustin, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. RodneyBMcThrustin

    RodneyBMcThrustin New Member

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    My girlfriend and I both came out of sexually boring and unadventuruous relationships and have committed ourselves to keeping our fun, adventurous, and communicating what we like and don't like. We engage in "sexting", talk dirty in bed, and share our fantasies. While we love to slow down and make love we also like to heat it up and just get "freaky." Sexually, she does things for me that no other woman has ever done.

    I know I feel extremely gratified in my relationship and believe she does as well. I absolutely never have any desire to look elsewhere or cheat on her and this leads me to my question...

    Do you think people cheat because in each and every one of us is this carnal, animalistic, desire to get freaky and when that need isn't met, they pursue another sexual relationship? I think some couples for whatever reasons don't or aren't able to get that in their relationship and maybe one or the other or even both want it but don't. Your thoughts?
     
  2. 12barblues

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    i suppose the obvious response would be that "needs" werent being met in the bedroom and the lines of communication werent open...so one will "look elsewhere" Or sometimes it may be an inner conflict, like say, the woman needs to be fucked like a dirty whore, but needs to maintain the "respectful" relationship she has with the fine upstanding man that is the father of her children and her husband..so she finds herself a "badboy". and lives with a dirty little secret. And men do the same types of things....
    But it doesnt have to be that way.....if a couple loves each other, and they communicate honestly....
     
  3. kinda_hung

    kinda_hung New Member

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    I know I'd love for my marriage to he freakier. My wifes about as vanilla as it gets. About the freakiest she has gotten is with language. One morning after we hadn't had sex in a week, I got her all hot. She rolled over and said "do you wanna Fuck my wet pussy". I about had a heart attack!

    I would be lying if I said I wouldn't step outside for some hot freaky sex with a nice woman! I've talked with my wife about heating stuff up etc. But it only leads to an arguement and leaving me frustrated. Ugh.
     
  4. thunderseed

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    I think cheating can be caused by a lot of reasons, and not always to do with sex. Some couples cheat because they fall out of love with their spouse and meet someone else, and don't have the heart to tell them, some people just have insecurities, like some women who are so insecure they cannot say no to sex from anyone, some do it as an evil nasty revenge, or to act out, some relationships just get so out of hand that neither person is happy, but with lots of married couples I see this scenario happening a lot (around where I live at least):

    Something horrific happens to couples kids, maybe their kid is diagnosed with a tumor, or baby dies, or kid raised in hospitals, puts a lot of stress on marriage, causes fights, causes parent's to blame each other, no harmony at home, one person goes off and cheats. It's also common with any tragedy or stress that happens to couple.

    And I also see this happening a lot: Teens to 20 something year olds getting married way too young, hardly even know each other, probably knew each other just for a month or so, just pressured into the marriage / relationship scene by friends and family, girl gets pregnant, couple realizes they don't actually like each other, one person or sometimes (both persons) goes and cheats.

    And sadly, I also see this scenario a lot, please tell me: have you noticed this scenario below? Because I find it weird. I have witnessed it a lot where I live.

    Immature or younger ladies, teens to 30 something year olds, haven't noticed it much in mature women, that are strategically trying to be knocked up just to control a guy they fancy. By strategically, I mean they go all out to get pregnant by a man they are fixated with, because they feel so insecure and alone, and don't want to be alone for the rest of their life, so they have his kid JUST to force him into a relationship. It doesn't always work out - and that creates unhealthy relationships. I know lots of immature relationships like this, where the guy goes and cheats all the time, just because he's being forced into a relationship by a crazy chick that has his babies, and to control him.

    You would think the easy thing to do is... separate, he could pay the child support, but nope. These poor guys are really forced into it, and these women are crazy!

    I once interviewed (talked to) a young girl who just got married, to her husband, whom she forced into the relationship by getting knocked up, and she said she did it because "no one wanted to do her." o_0 What is this world coming to?
     
  5. litemyfire

    litemyfire Member

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    Do you think people cheat because in each and every one of us is this carnal, animalistic, desire to get freaky and when that need isn't met, they pursue another sexual relationship?


    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Hell YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That's my answer because I'm living it now!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  6. Stimpy

    Stimpy New Member

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    My ex wife cheated on me because she was a drunken slut. Unfortunately I didn't listen to my gut and I stayed with her because I believed her when she said she was sorry and that she would change and all that other bullshit. Currently she insists that she did not leave me for someone else. But her actions speak much louder than her false and tainted words.

    I have never cheated. I have had opportunities but never took them. Yea, I'm that one freak of a man that believes in loyalty and all the shit. Maybe I should abandon my ideals?
     
  7. 12barblues

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    dont do it my friend...i was like you for 30 years....totally faithful.. never even flirted with anyone...and my wife would withhold sex for months on end but i stayed because i made a commitment. then when i decided to leave her , i met someone "too soon" (before i was out of the house)....now 30 years of being an honest man is erased and i can never go back and undo it....because i "cheated"....
     
  8. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    As a scientist... yes, this is natural. Your evolutionary duty is to continue the human species.

    As a member of society... the race is doing fine, stick to what is socially acceptable. Cheating is not acceptable. That said, if she gives you permission it's not cheating.
     
  9. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    For some of us it's all about the dominant male bit. Me real man, me fuck anything I want.

    Which doesn't actually make you a real man just a twat. Unfortunately I go through stages of my life when I feel the need to be a twat.
     
  10. Alwayslearningsex

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    Not necessarily sexual. Many cheating women will cheat because things are shitty at home but don't want to leave (kids, security), sometimes because the hubby won't give sex or pay attention.
    Men will cheat because they're not happy at home, or just won't keep their pants on, want to have every girl they can.
    Often it's because of unresolved issues too.
    I agree a person with a boring sex partner may cheat, or will think about cheating, to get what the other partner won't do or give.
     
  11. cbrmale

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    There are as many reasons to be unfaithful as couples doing it. There is a drive to seek that beyond, you can be in love but sexually incompatible and you feel frustrated and search beyond (being in love doesn't guarantee great sex), your love may fade and the whole relationship fails, you should never have gotten togther in the first place. Any more?

    Communication is not and never will be the answer. I've tried, I known many who have tried, it doesn't work. If you're on a sexual plane and the person you love is on a different sexual plane, then all the communication in the world won't help. You have three choices: accept no or mediocre sex, divorce, or have an affair. That's it! All the talk in the world won't generate a fourth choice: sexual ephiphany.
     
  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    Trying to work something with a spouse or full time partner being the first step, but also doing what it takes to earn each other, man or woman, is a good beginning. Next I agree with you a lot: personal compatibility and sexual compatibility are not the same thing.
     
  13. cbrmale

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    I absolutely agree with you on both counts. You MUST try like we all have tried. But most likely it won't work, and then you need to think about what you want to do next.