Get the girl/guy you want.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Buffalo204, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I found this article written by a guy named Billy Baker that may help our inexperienced members have a better understanding on what it's going to take to get the girl (or guy) they want. I agree with most of it.

    1. RECOGNIZE AND UTILIZE YOUR STRENGTHS

    Everyone has a special skill, whether it is humor, conversational ability, or athletic prowess. Think about your number one strength and incorporate it into your dating regime. What you look like is not of supreme importance.

    2. GET HELP

    If you are not confidant, and need to get help, then utilize your friends. Choose one that you think is successful, and ask for some tips. Some people find the socializing scene easier than others'. If you are having real trouble try asking a girl who is a friend to go out on a practice date. Then ask her what went wrong.?

    3. REMEMBER THAT SOCIAL AND DATING SKILLS ARE NOT LEARNED IN A CLASSROOM

    Practice your skills regarding interaction with other people. Try not to brag all the time and listen to others. Try and bring out the best in others and make them warm to your personality.

    4. BEING RESPONSIVE TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS IS NOT WEAKNESS

    You are not a wimp if you are aware of the times when other people need your support. We have come a long way since Men dragged women off by their hair to a cave. In a complex world girls need more than physical protection, and the provision, of the odd beast to eat, they do have emotional needs as well.

    5. LEARN THE ART OF ASKING MEANINGFUL QUESTIONS

    Many men mix up the difference between a statement and a question, yet the difference is very basic and grasping the options that you can give the girls is a way to improving your relationships. Some men understand the difference for instance "whew it sure is hot, is a statement you are stating a fact and gives someone else little to reply to. How hot is this, aren't you hot? is a question asking for a response.

    I have often listened to young men and wonder how they can get it wrong? They fire a series of questions off so fast, it is like being interrogated.

    Ask a question, and then give a short answer, that's interesting, and then maybe follow it up with "Why do you feel like that?" Learn to incorporate the questions into smooth conversation.

    6. UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MUST TAKE RISKS

    Find the little things that you think are romantic, and act on them. This is fairly hard for some men, they are taught that real men don't express their feelings, you will appear weak if you do so. To be self-expressive you must be able to express your feelings. It may all go horribly wrong and you may hurt someone but the more you practice the easier it becomes.

    7 BE UNPREDICTABLE

    Don't always do what you think women expect. A bunch of flowers is nice but too often is 'old hat' these days. Think of something different to do that will be fun for both of you. This does not need to be expensive, a candle lit dinner is wonderful, but there are other ways of doing something different. Women love dancing, and if you can't afford to go out dancing play some romantic music at home, and relax.

    8. COOK HER A MEAL

    How special does a woman feel when her guy has gone to the trouble to shop, and prepare food for her. It does not have to be a five course gourmet dinner. Start with something simple like a salad, and even if you can't cook, practice one main course. Women think this is very romantic, and are quite likely to be bowled over by the gesture. Even if it does not taste that great, she will appreciate the thought.

    9 BE AWARE OF THE GIRL'S BODY LANGUAGE

    Body language is quite complex, but some things are easy. Practice on your friends. You should be able to recognize what sort of a general mood someone is in by the way that they hold themselves. Look at how relaxed people are looking when they laugh, they look as though they have not a care in the world. In contrast when people are holding themselves together, they look tense, and strung up. How many times have you seen a girl out and she is yawning, which is a sure sign she is bored, but on top of that she is giving men the brush off. Learn to read body language, and give yourself a fighting chance of success.

    10. NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF A SENSE OF HUMOR

    Women are real suckers for men that make them laugh. Laughter reduces tension and makes them feel more relaxed. It takes some of the stress out of getting to know someone. Even if it means telling little stories against yourself. By this I do not mean put yourself down, but tell a story when something you did backfired on you in a funny way.
     
  2. MysteryMan

    MysteryMan New Member

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    Generally all those are good ideas but I think it really boils down to each persons character and the type of girl he is trying to get. You can't wear a blue pin stripe suit and try to attract a goth girl. So many variables.. but you might as well learn something everyday thru articles like this.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Buffalo if we could do all those things when we were young
    We would not have had a problem to begin with.

    Hiker
     
  4. cook74

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    8. COOK HER A MEAL

    How special does a woman feel when her guy has gone to the trouble to shop, and prepare food for her. It does not have to be a five course gourmet dinner. Start with something simple like a salad, and even if you can't cook, practice one main course. Women think this is very romantic, and are quite likely to be bowled over by the gesture. Even if it does not taste that great, she will appreciate the thought.

    This suggestion has worked wonders for me in the past:brow
     
  5. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    A lot of the people I see having problems here aren't that young.
     
  6. cbrmale

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    Buffalo,
    I'll second your comment. I think it probable that some (most) of the men who post 'help, I havent had sex for five years' would probably gain something from those ten hints.

    Naturally, you don't have to do all ten! I always disliked cooking, but I have a natural sense of humour which invigorates my marriage even after so many years together. I learned body language, so I am able to identify that my wife is concerned and I open dialogue before it gets to the point of her stopping sex to get some attention. And so it goes on.
     
  7. Bluesy

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    Good article! Thanks for sharing it, Buffalo :)

    It seems like a lot of guys go wrong here. I've lost interest in a guy very rapidly for the simple reason that he didn't ask questions. If you're interested in a person, that's how you show them, by taking an active interest in their life, their history, their interests. I always assume that if a guy doesn't ask questions and respond in a way that demonstrates a real interest in what makes me tick, he isn't really interested in getting to know me...maybe he's more interested in me, the potential sex partner, ya know :eyes
     
  8. excal04

    excal04 New Member

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    I hear you man. It doesn't have to be much. I love cooking and eating Italian, so a pasta dish for two is my thing.