Gender-Biased Adive in some threads?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Mary49Ca, Dec 15, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Mary49Ca

    Mary49Ca New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2006
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I’ve been reading these forum posts for roughly a month now and I notice that there seems to be some gender-biased advice, especially from the female point of view.

    Situation: Wife or girlfriend is not getting enough sex in the relationship.

    Typical response from females: Well you might have to make a difficult decision; if you aren’t compatible then maybe you should end the relationship if you aren’t sexually satisfied; sex is important in the relationship; etc.

    Typical response from males: End the relationship; etc.


    Situation: Husband or boyfriend is not getting enough sex in the relationship.

    Typical response from females: No one is 100% sexually compatible; if you love her you should live with it; maybe you’re not romantic enough; etc.

    Typical response from males: End the relationship, etc.


    Now ladies, if it’s not ok for us, then why should it be ok for the guys? Shouldn’t the advice be exactly the same no matter what the gender is?
     
  2. AnonymousOne

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    5,845
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Given Physiological differences, not always. Trust me, I'm a fan of standing up and fighting for a relationship (The fact that I personally can't seem to hold one together aside) at some point people have to decide if they want to fight to save things and revitalize a love that was there. Oh And thanks for generalizing all of us males. ;)
     
  3. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,364
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Virginia
    Yeah, Mary! Whip us! Beat us! Tie us up and make us do perverted things! OOOOH! Sounds "kinky"! ;> Well, I'd say more, but I'm still seeking stars and reeling from that hand job my wife did on me last night! WHOA, that woman is GREAT with her hands! WHOOOEEEE!!! Anyway, like A1, I, too am a fan of standing up and fighting for a relationship. And, like I have said before here - assuming it didn't all get wiped by the crash - sex ain't all that life is all about. Some guys do value the relationship more than the sex. We may whine and gripe but we still love our wives, girlfriends, significant others or what have you.
     
  4. pirouette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2006
    Messages:
    2,463
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Upstate New York
    It depends on the author's situation. If the poster has been in the relationship for a long time (at least 10 years) without sex, communication or love....I usually advise them to try a last communication effort and then leave. It doesn't matter what sex they are to me. :ugh
     
  5. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Mary,
    You are generalising, but I have read a few postings along these lines without commenting, one stands out where a wife was digging her heels and refusing to experiment even mildely and one response was 'it's her right to refuse' and a few men suggested 'it's his right to leave her or to cheat.'

    I am all for compromise and negotiation and trying to save a relationship that may be worth saving, but if one partner or the other digs their heels in and refuses to budge on sexual matters, to me it indicates a lack of love. Effectively one is saying 'I don't care enough about you to grow and develop.'

    Most people who post here do so after a long period of talk and negotiation and frustration, so maybe a more structured way of communication is the next step. If that fails, threaten to leave or to find someone else. If that fails, then leave.

    At the end of it all, life is too short to throw away on a relationship that isn't working. I have had horrible things happen to me, and I know that your life can be ruined in a day. The most tragic thing would be to look back and say 'I should have done something ten years ago'. If your life isn't happy, including your sex life, and it looks unlike that it will improve, then go. Life is too short and too uncertain to do anything else.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.