Funny things done or said during sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by DarkJewel, Mar 28, 2011.

  1. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    This thread is for posting funny things that have happened during sex,or things that have been said that made you laugh.

    One time I was giving head for the first time to this guy,and I was waiting to hear a moan or something to indicate when he would cum,or the phrase "I'm gonna cum",but instead he said,"There I go!" and I almost choked because I was trying not to laugh.I later told him I thought it was a strange thing to say and he agreed and said he didn't know how I kept a straight face and we had a good laugh over it.

    Another time I was having sex with my husband (recently) and a car alarm was going off outside.With every thrust my husband was going to the beat of the honking and I just lost it and started cracking up while we doing it.


    So,you guys have any? I have ALOT,but I'm not gonna post them all :D
     
  2. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

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    Cat staring... Dog staring... "WTF leave us alone perv" *throws blanket over pet!* :p
     
  3. Jolay

    Jolay New Member

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    Now that is so hilariously funny. LOL
     
  4. backcheck64

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    "we need to wrap this up, I've got another date in an hour" yes I said that, it was a long time ago LOL
     
  5. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    ROFL Untamed!! I feel the same way with any pets in the room...

    Backcheck...only you,lol
     
  6. backcheck64

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    Never any comments about the dog or cat...but have been asked, whatcha gonna do with that hedgehog....
     
  7. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    Gf likes to twitch her pussy after I pop just because my penis gets sensitive. She wraps her legs around me so I don't pull out.
     
  8. need4more

    need4more New Member

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    :lolGuess I'm not the only woman that does that:lol


     
  9. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    Can't quite tell you something said during. Got a super embarrassing one from after sex though. Had sex with this girl completely hammered about 6 months ago in her own bed. I was so wasted I couldn't even stay hard so she was like its okay lets do it in the morning. "cool?" -"yeah cool" Drank way more than could count. What I remember well is what followed..

    So I wake up still drunk and freezing my ass off. I'm huddled pretty close to her and I realize I'm completely soaked.

    I wake her up, "hey yo so I think I pissed your bed"
    she's like "what? no you couldn't have you must of spilled something last night"
    I was like "ha, no I pissed that shit for real"
    The girls expression was damn priceless. She told me I could take a shower and clean up. I was like wtf haha Im not going to speak to you ever again, peace. Not just pissed her bed.. wrecked the damn thing!

    I just couldn't believe I woke up her and told her that. Should of just snuck out..
     
  10. backcheck64

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    I have said, "Damn, you are better than your sister".
     
  11. Untamed

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    haha!!! classic!

    Mine would have to be.. hooking up with a guy who was room mates with a guy I had hooked up with 2 weeks earlier.. being naked and having the covers pulled back .. "I wonder who [insert name] brought home lastnight" and then the guy walking off pissed at his roommate.... "What the fuck man you knew I liked her ..blah blah"
     
  12. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    when we lived together in an apartment, one night i was fucking my woman and she was screaming hard. then all of the sudden we hear the neighbor banging against the wall and can hear her screaming "shut up you nasty's" so my girlfriend told me to fuck her against that wall, so we cross the room and im banging her against the wall and shes screaming into an orgasm while we can feel the neighbor still banging away at the wall screaming "nasty sicko's ima call the police" so we finish and fall on the bed and find the neighbor knocking on the window screaming "you perverts!!" lol.......another time my woman was blowing me late at night in the front room and i heard the neighbor up stairs park his car and stumble up the stairs. i can see he had three big bottles in his hands and could tell he was drunk. he tried to take is keys out but he dropped a bottle and it shattered , he tried to reach for it but he slipped and rolled down the stairs in front of our window. he got up yelling "good mother lord what the hell am i going to get drunk off now" he tried to crawl up the stairs....when i blew my load i forgot about him. the next morning i found him passed out at the bottom of the stairs with three broken whiskey bottles around him....

    good times...:D
     
  13. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    Haha,that reminds me of this one neighbor I used to have!
    This lady was so damned nosy,she was always in our business.
    We didn't know her name but we called her the "fruitcake" cuz she was just weird.
    We rented this condo and she was obsessed with these rose bushes out front which also happened to be right in front of our window.
    One lovely Sunday morning I was totally naked and going down on my husband and I looked up and saw her staring right at me!!!
    I know we should have had the blinds closed,but with the bushes in front of the window we really didn't need to.She was back behind them though watching what we were doing.

    My husband thought we were gonna wake up one day and find her in bed with us!!
     
  14. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    lol lucky it wasnt me standing there :eyes
     
  15. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    :D
     
  16. BigGreekD

    BigGreekD Member

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    I told my ex "I'm gunna stuff you like a turkey" hahahahahaha

    I told her weird things all the time. "I want to park my meat train in brown town." ... she said no to that one.

    I hit her head into my wall once because i threw her into my bed hahahaha she wasnt very hurt tho
     
  17. ply

    ply
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  18. HardRocker

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    :lol
     
  19. HardRocker

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    That's how you have rodeo sex. First you mount her from behind, hold on to a tit with one hand and then say it... or better yet, say Damn, you ain't half as tight as your sister.
     
  20. Essene

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    I had a friend who had a girl blindfolded. Her auspicious attitude, drenched in desire to please him, permitted this as she wasn't one for having less control of a situation. When she was about to climax- he lit a row of black cats and threw them on the pillow and said "I hope it was explosive for you too."
     
    #20 Essene, Aug 6, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2011