Fucking a friend

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ArtilleryGuy, Oct 7, 2010.

  1. ArtilleryGuy

    ArtilleryGuy New Member

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    Hello everyone, I posted this in another forum but I thought I would see what everyone thought about my situation over here as well.

    Alright, so here is my dilemma. There's this girl that I am friends with and I have known her since freshman year of high school. Recently, she asked me if she could come over for some drinks and hang out as just the two of us. I said sure but I wouldn't be able to drive her home because chances are I would be under the influence (me still not cluing in to what she wants) and she insisted on sleeping at my place. Once she said that, I realized she wanted me to fuck her but I'm not sure if I really want to. Over the past few days I have been warming up to the idea but I'm still not too sure (oh and she's a virgin). As I mentioned before we're just friends and I know she has no feelings for me (and I have none for her) and she simply wants to fuck.

    Now, I'm not asking for anyone to tell me what to do because I know only I can make that decision, but I would like some people's opinions on the situation. Does anyone have any personal experience with sleeping with a friend? Does it get REALLY awkward after things cool down, and you end up regretting it? I can see it doing one of two things, either ruining our friendship or becoming no strings attached fuck buddies. I'm not really concerned about wrecking the friendship. Please don't think I'm thinking of using her, because I'm not. We've kind of drifted since graduating high school so we don't really have much of a friendship left.

    I've kind of always fantasized about fucking this girls brains out because I find her goody-goody personality is a huge turn on for some reason. It's not like I don't find her attractive, she has a very nice body but I've never been sure if I actually want to sleep with her. I think I'm going to go through with it and see what happens, but would still like some people`s opinions. I've never been with a virgin before, any tips for making this experience enjoyable for her too? When I penetrate her for the first time should I go in real slow until I reach the hymen and then break it? Should I ask her to do things for me or just make do with what she initiates herself? For example, when I receive head I like the girl to stop sucking me right before I climax and then have her jack me off as I cum all over her face. Perhaps that would be a little too much for her? Some female perspective would really be appreciated with regards to breaking the hymen because as I mentioned before, I've never done it and I don't want to hurt her any more than I need to.

    Thanks everyone! :p
  2. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    My first question is how old are you and how long have you known her. Freshman year could have been a year ago or ten years ago.

  3. ArtilleryGuy

    ArtilleryGuy New Member

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    We`re both 18 (we graduated last year).
  4. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    If you're both of age, you're both willing and you want to experiment and do it, then well, do it.
    From MY experience, getting sexual with friends doesn't get awkward. One of my best girlfriends and I, before we even should have been were experimenting with each other. It never bothered our friendship, only made it stronger. Same with guys. I still talk to my ex and it doesn't make things weird.

    Only you can make it awkward. It's sex, it's natural. Whatever happens happens. Just have fun with it. :)
  5. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Before meeting my wife I was good friends with a woman about 15 years my senior. She was attracted to me but I just saw her as a friend. A part of my reason for seeing her as a friend was because of the age difference and "personality" wise we were quite different. In any event we were friends for a few years but as time went on her attraction for me grew. So, we decided to give being "friend with benefits" a try. After about a year she really started developing feelings for me but I did not reciprocate those feelings back due to me never developing feelings for her beyond seeing her as a friend to which I had a physical, not emotional, attraction.

    In another situation around the same time as the above and before meeting my wife I was good friends for a few years with a woman who was about 5 years older than me. She made it known to me that she was sexually attracted to me and again in this situation I saw her as a friend. However her advances towards me, finally wore me down, and in a moment of weakness I gave-in to her advances. After that experience our friendship lasted about another month but it was very awkward month, to say the least.

    So, to answer your question based on my experience it does get awkward with a friend, especially if the two of you have entirely different expectations regarding your relationship. Most likely, I feel, you will ultimately loose her as a friend. The best advice I can give you is to speak with her about your feelings, what you would like to do, and understand her needs. It maybe that both of you feel an attraction for each other and from that a relationship can develop. However if not, then the two of you need to decide what your next step will be but without communicating then you will never know.
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2010
  6. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    So, to answer your question based on my experience it does get awkward with a friend, especially if the two of you have entirely different expectations regarding your relationship. Most likely, I feel, you will ultimately loose her as a friend. The best advice I can give you is to speak with her about your feelings, what you would like to do, and understand her needs. It maybe that both of you feel an attraction for each other and from that a relationship can develop. However if not, then the two of you need to decide what your next step will be but without communicating then you will never know.

    There's what I would have said too.

    And on the idea of cumming on her face, IMO that's only something that should be done inside of a relationship unless you too talk about it ahead of time. Some women like it, more women are "O.K." with it, and still others hate it. My girl and I have done it, but only after talking about it. Basically, me making sure that was ok to do "next time". Her response was "sure, it'll be something different." But I would NEVER surprise her with that because I know it would have the ability to kill her mood in a "sudden attack of the gravy cannons"....lol.
  7. htoad

    htoad Member

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    Based on what you have posted, I would advise against it. You really do not have strong feelings about it, and your are thinking about the act more in terms of the things you want to do, as opposed to trying to figure out what might be best. What if she is not into oral or getting cummed on? Those are things that, in my view, are better learned in the progression of a relationship than in a one night stand.

    The matter of your friendship is always key. It sounds great in the moment, but do you really care about things 10, 20 or more years from now. Coming from someone with the perspective of age, sometimes those short term actions have long term consequences that you cannot see. If her friendship is important to you, I would advise against it. If the sex is more important to you, then you should be willing to weather the loss of a friendship. My experience may be biased, but I was in your situation several times before I was married, and I am so glad I did not go through with it, as the friendships I have with those women have become much more important and made a difference in my life, one that would not have happened had we had sex.

    Ultimately it is your decision - as the saying goes, "if you dance to the music, you have to pay the piper". So you must be willing to accept the potential consequences, and not assume that there will not be any.
  8. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Well... there seems to be a significant amount of advise against it here. I'm not going to go against these suggestions, but I'll try going another way in hopes of providing some perspective.

    Let me tell you the story of my friend Jenniffer. Jenniffer was the salutatorian in my High School class. She got straight A's, was the smallest cheerleader, was class vice president, planned events, played the flute in the band, and did gymnastics. She was a very busy girl, and she never got into trouble.
    We were school friends. Not really friends-friends, but we would talk and joke at school and at other functions. I always had a small crush on her; she was very sweet and quite beautiful. And she never had a boyfriend all the way through school. (=virgin)
    We both end up at the same after graduation bon-fire party. I've just broken it off with my girlfriend 3 weeks before-hand and I was still very torn up about it as it ended quite badly. We started talking and somewhere the conversation turned to talking about sex and college. She told me she was still a virgin and hadn't even been past first base with a guy, but didn't like the idea of going to college without playing the game just a little bit to know what she was doing. ("Gives me the eyes")

    (Awkward silence)

    I look her in the eyes and smile at her. I say, "I'm going to level with you. I'm really kind of excited that you'd think of me for something like that. But I've always had a crush on you and I don't think it would be such a good idea since I just broken it off with my girlfriend and we're both moving soon, and going to college" etc...

    She looked at me and started to explain. She said that she had been thinking of asking me because she never thought I'd felt anything like that for her, just friendship, so it would be safe from feelings and just be a friendly interaction with no strings since we weren't THAT good of friends. And maybe I'd be interested since I DID just break up with my ex. But as it turns out, she'd been harboring a crush for me since freshman year too, so we both decided that it was a bad idea; which led to a lot of laughing and joking for the rest of the night. The night ended with her telling me thank you and giving me a hug. I looked at her, leaned in and gave her a long soft kiss, told HER thank you, and drove home.
    We went on a couple of friendly dates that summer, but then drifted apart during college.
    ____________________________

    Does this sound like the kind of situation that you're in? The only reason Jenniffer talked to me about it was because she was near-certain I was not emotionally invested, she kind of liked me, she felt safe with me, and because she was completely aware of the upcoming circumstances to why developing a relationship from it was totally unreasonable and unexpected.

    The key to this situation was that we talked about it. No subtleties, no nonsense, no assumptions or errors. If you want to know what she wants, ask her. If she can't tell you what she wants, then she's not mature enough for sex, and certainly not mature enough for the added requests. However, if she lays it down and just wants someone safe to experiment with before she goes out into the big-real world with no expectations or feelings involved, then it might be okay.

    The key is communication. The key is ALWAYS communication. If you can remember that, you'll always be golden. Unspoken assumptions, expectations, entitlements, and resentment are where these things go wrong.

    Talk about it. First.

    I hope this helps you,
    ~Steve
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2010