Frustration

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by loveprof, Aug 8, 2013.

  1. loveprof

    loveprof Member

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    I wrote a post detailing my situation a few months back and several of you submitted thoughtful replies, for which I was grateful. Forgive me if I revisit this issue but, from time to time, the frustration just gets to be too much. And that is what I want to focus on in this post....frustration and despondency. I think the one thing many of you missed in your comments and suggestions previously is the incredible emotional toll 20 years of absolutely no physical affection has on an individual who absolutely loves sex. And, yes, I get that this last statement seems to be a contradiction on its face, but it is a reality I live with day in, day out. Sure, the activities of daily life keep me from focusing on this every moment, but all it takes is the sight of some couple sharing a PDA to remind me of the pain. What really gets to me is that all types of men seem to be able to have a relationship with a woman....guys more out of shape, less handsome, not as outgoing and less considerate than me.... but not me.

    I've been to counseling about this issue, read books on how to "improve my game" (though much of what these books teach does not really apply to guys my age nor is the "market" the same) and done what I can to improve myself. After doing all this for years, I'm about ready to accept that, to quote Ecclesiastes, "time and chance happen to every man". Even my counselor finally told me, "I think sometimes it's just a matter of timing." Well, surely my time should have come by now.

    Now, when I say 20 years, remember that 14 of those were while I was still married, and I never "stepped out". I was trying to save a marriage that, evidently, wasn't to be saved. But in the 6 years since then, nothing has changed. One person wrote in response to my previous post that she wondered how many women I'd turned down for some reason....none. Let's be clear; no woman I've been out with has shown any interest in physical intimacy at all... in any way.... period.

    I've spent many years looking at myself for the answer to the problem and am ready to say, "It's out of my hands". After all, how much introspection and change can a person do? Surely, eventually, the other party should have some responsibility for what goes on. And, yes, I've even had thoughts, in my more desperate moments of visiting a "professional" (though, with my luck, it would be an undercover cop... no pun intended) but that is just not the same thing. I want to be intimate with a woman who wants to be with me.

    So there it is, my emotional outpouring for the day. I'll take a little cheese with that "whine".

    loveprof
     
  2. CaramelLady

    Guest

    Your pain shows through your comment. I do not have any words of wisdom, or any insightful remarks.

    Just don't give up.
     
  3. loveprof

    loveprof Member

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    You're kind.