frustration = less hard erection

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by LA_20, Dec 15, 2007.

  1. LA_20

    LA_20 New Member

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    My boyfriend and I have only been having intercourse for about a month now but we've hit a bit of a bump in the road. We are very open about our ideas and love the idea of trying new positions... at least in theory. Whenever we switch positions it may take a few seconds to get everything right yet in that time he starts to lose the strength of his erection.
    I don't know if he feels that he's not pleasing me by taking a minute between position or what. I am enjoying every moment that I am with him and couldn't care less how long we take. Currently I'll take a minute and stroke him or go down on him until his erection is harder but I really think this is a mental issue. How do I approach this? I know that this is probably a sensitive subject and I don't want to make him feel embarassed or make it into a bigger deal then it is. Should I wait longer and see if the issue resolves on it's own?
     
  2. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    I know he is having a good time when you are stroking him or giving him a BJ to get him hard again, so I would not worry about it.It all for pleasure no matter what you are doing so just go with it and suck away until it gets hard again.This is a no lose situation.
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear LA 20,

    Changes in position have an effect on me. I am older, and an erection takes longer to develop.

    I recently had success with my wife guiding the insertion for our new position.

    I also will sometimes lose my erection and have to stroke for a while to get my erection back harder, when trying to change to another position for ecstacy.

    You are correct that an erection is complicated by mental trust and pleasure issues.

    I like to change positions, but it sometimes takes a while to get fully hard in a new position. So if taking time to get hard again is undesirable for you, you might stick with a position, if it is working for you. I have a position that, for my wife and I to climax together, usually works for us. So we save the climax polition until we are ready to blast off.



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  4. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    It is a mental issue, and the awkwardness of sex can sometimes affect men. Two solutions: keep going as your are now, because it seems to be working in the end. If you want more seamless sex, pick a nice position and stay there.

    The other thing is that partial abstinence usually makes men hornier and harder. Convuluted sex works better when you've had two or three days break from sex, not so much if you've had sex every day )or most days) for weeks.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    LA 20
    Making love is not about trying new positions.
    Making love is about being into your partners heart and mind.
    and you in His mind. Once you get a rhythm and a good feeling
    going, Keep it going until you both orgasm.
    Sex is not a game of hop scotch. We do it because we are in
    love not as a game to see how many ways we can do it.

    Hiker