Friends, with non-sexual benefits

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by manvspencil, Oct 14, 2015.

  1. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    So, I've got a female friend who I'm really close to. We're really alike and share the same sense of humour. We both have significant others, although she's gone through a bit of a rough period with hers due to some issues he's been having. She's the loveliest person with a true heart of gold, and he'd been treating her pretty appallingly. He's managed to turn it round though, and they're getting on better now.

    All through this, I've been a shoulder to cry on for her. Nothing's happened between us, ever, and I have no plans to change that, and I'm sure she doesn't either. We do flirt a little, but harmless really, just a little boost for our egos I guess. We've always joked that we'll run off together if things don't work out with our other halves.

    It's been a bit weird this past week though. She's been constantly on about how they haven't been having much sex lately, and she's always horny. She said about a particular sexual problem he's been having, and it was exactly the same as one that I've had before, so I offered to talk to her about it and what she could do to help him.

    This turned into a conversation about our sex lives, and the things we'd done in the past. It was pretty arousing listening to her as she went into a lot of detail, but she's always been pretty open about sex, so I took it with a pinch of salt.

    I mentioned to her that, as I've usually been more of a giver than a taker, and it usually takes me a long time to reach orgasm, that I've always concentrated on giving women plenty of orgasms. For example, on the night I lost my virginity, I never got the chance to come (after making the woman in question come for about the fifth time that night and telling her that I needed to, she turned me down flat; I've only been able to come regularly through penetrative sex in the past few years with my SO). I've always tried to be unselfish in bed. I gave my friend a few examples of the stuff I'd done in the past.

    My friend looked at me astonished, as I'd never told her anything like this before as I'm normally quite reserved about my private life. She said she was impressed and wished she'd had someone like that.

    I dropped her off (I was giving her a lift home), and there was a slightly awkward moment when we went to give each other an innocent peck on the cheek, as we often do, but it somehow very almost ended up as a kiss on the lips; inexplicably, I ended up kissing her on the nose!

    After thinking it over, I thought I may have come across as bragging a bit, so when I saw her the next day I apologised to her if it seemed as such.

    She threw me completely when she said that she'd had a very filthy and inappropriate dream about me the night before after what I'd told her about my sex life! She wouldn't give me the details, and I decided I wouldn't press her as it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. I did tease her a bit though, and asked her if it was a good dream. She smiled and said it was amazing.

    I did mention to her that I'd once had a dream about her before. I didn't elaborate much either, but as she'd always joked before when I'd complimented her on her figure that I'd not seen her naked yet, I said that I had, but only in my mind. She smiled and blushed.

    It doesn't put me off her as she's the closest friend I have outside of my relationship. I don't intend on doing anything to jeopardise what we've got, or that with my SO.

    I suppose I'm not seeking any advice, I just wanted to get this off my chest I guess. It's just been a bit of a headfuck for me, that's all.
     
    #1 manvspencil, Oct 14, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2015
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  2. sensless

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    You sound like a really fine friend.
     
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  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    great to have a friend that way
     
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  4. lbushwalker

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    You are good friends indeed but if ever circumstances change for both of you then I am sure you will end up together in the cot at least once ;)
     
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  5. xtacy4

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    Just be sure she knows where you stand if you have no intentions to do more than flirt :)
     
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  6. fbbg

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    I have been in a similar situation to you and agree with both of the above quotes.

    1. Make sure she's aware you do not want to stray from your partner

    2. If you are both ever single ar the same time then it will probably just happen ;)
     
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  7. billytk1977

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    I have a friend like that. Me and her grew up together and have always been very close. Couple years ago while we were both going trough some rough stuff she was constantly at my place or me hers. She was getting divorced and i thought i was but me and wife worked our diffrences thankfully. I love my wife and wanted to be with her.

    One night my friend came to the house and I was lounging in the dining room living room. Just wearing a pair of shorts she came over dropped in for a visit that my shorts were pretty loose fitting has she just stood back looked at me and explain to me how much she would love to suck me off. Now man this girl grew up together and I've always looked at her like family did tell her no and explain that I was very flattered that she was saying that and that was the end of it. It in no way affected our friendship and even after me and my wife was able to work things out I don't have has no problem at all if I go out and get a beer with her and leave the wife at home she does know what happened that night I mean my wife and she also respect me a lot more that I didn't cheat on her while we were separated.
     
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  8. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    Thanks for the comments guys. To be fair, I don't think she'd ever think of doing it either. I've just never had a female friend who's been so open with me about sex and It's kinda odd, but nice at the same time that she feels comfortable enough with me that she can talk so openly to me about her sex life.

    Maybe if we were both single then yes, something might happen, but that's not a option in my eyes.
     
  9. scurlock1971

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    A lot of good advice going on here so no need for my opinion. I am glad though that you found a place you can as you put it "get it off your chest"
     
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  10. Candela

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    She sounds like a wonderful friend!!...For a relationship to blossom,You must be friends first!! xo
     
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  11. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    Is it normal for a friend to tell you how her vibrator feels on her clit, and how she was fucking herself on the sofa with it whilst her SO was upstairs asleep? I haven't been round her new house yet, so I know I'm gonna be wondering where she was sat when I eventually do...
     
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  12. lbushwalker

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    You could sniff it out but I would start with the edge of the sofa ;)
     
  13. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    I'm not sure I'd be welcome as a house guest again if I did that...
     
  14. _lookin4fun_

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    Don't know if it's normal but it's sure fucking awesome! ;)
     
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  15. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    I have to admit, the mind did wander somewhat when she told me that... She's told me how she likes to get herself off in the bath as well, and how she's gone through a few vibrators that way.
     
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  16. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    I'm confused to fuck now.

    Leaving do for a work friend last week. My friend is out, looks stunning. Tells me how her SO hasn't texted her all day apart from to tell her he doesn't care if she's coming home after they had a row that morning. She lives quite far away so she would need a lift, but she's got a place to stay that night if needs be anyway.

    Drinks flow, she appears happy until we're outside having a cig and talking, then she starts crying and runs across the road. I go after her because I don't want her to be alone in her state.

    I listen to her talking about how he's a dick to her, and how she's glad she can talk to me... then she hits me with a bombshell.

    She says, she has feelings for me and if things were different, something might happen, but she respects my SO and she's not a cheater so it can't.

    I won't take advantage of her in this state or any other, but when I go in to give her a cuddle to reassure her, she pushes me away.

    She eventually composes herself and wipes her eyes on my jacket, then another friend comes out and we all go back inside. However, she seems distant for the rest of the evening.

    She's texted me since to apologise for anything she might have said that was inappropriate (she says she doesn't remember much, but I think she does). I've told her it's OK and she hasn't offended me or anything. I can't speak to her face to face this week because she's away.

    This has really thrown me sideways. I don't know if she was serious or just in a vulnerable place at the time.

    Fuck a duck.
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    There nothing whtatsoever strange or inconsistent about this incident.
    She was vulnerable and you protected her and she told you the truth then felt having gone too far and regrets or angry at being so upfront caught in the moment but you but now know the score if ever you were to break up with your current SO.
    She will be waiting in the wings unless by then she has moved on.
    You are a lucky dude and a good friend :)
     
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  18. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    Cheers for the comment.

    It occurred to me today, why am I posting this shit here? It's a sex forum, not Dear fucking Deirdre.
     
  19. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    So after the other week when my friend told me she had feelings for me, things felt a little weird.

    She came back to work and apologised for the things she said. She mentioned THAT and I told her not to worry.

    We're closer than ever now, she told me she really appreciated me looking out for her. She said she stayed out in the middle of the night to wait for her SO to pick her up though, and I gave her both barrels for that. Not safe.

    Last night though, we're walking to my car and she's cuddling up to me and telling me what a nice guy I am (which I try not to believe, I think it makes you complacent if you do), and saying how she's happy with her SO, but she doesn't think humans were made to be monogamous, and I can't help feeling that she's trying to tell me something. To be honest, it's really playing on my mind.

    My SO has said that I'm acting differently lately.

    Plus we're all staying over at my friend's house at the weekend, and I know I'm going to be thinking about the sofa!

    I hope she's not on here, she'll know exactly who I'm talking about.

    What a mindfuck.
     
  20. manvspencil

    manvspencil Member

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    So, an update...

    Things have been fine for quite a few months now. No questionable flirting, we've both been ok.

    Then tonight, we're texting, suddenly I get a photo from her dressed in a fishnet dress with no panties and a red bra. Hot as fuck.

    She's meant to send it to her best female friend to show her what she's doing to get her husband into bed, but he's not interested. Fucking lunatic.

    I'm massively turned on by this. I think she is too, although she's mortified that she's sent it to me. Can't help but turn on the flirting, play a bit of innuendo bingo.

    She says "Don't, I wanna play but we shouldn't." I was so tempted to keep it going, but I had to stop.

    It's been all I can do to keep my hands off my dick this evening.