[Ask a Girl] Friends with benefits?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Niick, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. Niick

    Niick New Member

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    How many of you girls would be interested in a friends with benefits relationship if you were single?

    And would it have to be with someone that you've been in a relationship with previously or can it be with someone you just met?
     
  2. 10_3XL

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    I thought by definition that a friend with benefits had to be a friend first and foremost.... :confused:
     
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  3. Sweetlysad

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    Nope not at all, I am only intereted in a committed relationship.
     
  4. Meee

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    Sadly, "friend with benefits" has become the same as "fuck buddy." The "friend" part has become meaningless and cheap.
     
  5. 10_3XL

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    Okay, so there should be a difference, but as far as most are concerned there is NOT a difference between a "fuck buddy" / "booty call" and a "friend with benefits." Am I understanding this right?
     
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  6. Meee

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    Within my few years so far as an adult, I've heard the expression "friend with benefits" change. It used to mean a friend you have sex with. Meanwhile, "fuck buddy" was almost the opposite--a person you had sex with but wasn't your friend or anything. You didn't even want a fuck buddy to be your friend. No strings and so on. But now I hear "friend with benefits" in uses that obviously mean "fuck buddy." It makes me sad, frankly, that the word "friend" is being weakened in this way.

    Or, as I always say, "Friendship is the benefit."
     
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  7. Niick

    Niick New Member

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    No I didn't mean just fuck the person. You can like them and be friends with them too, just not being in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship - not letting things get "serious".
     
  8. lbushwalker

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    Most FWB and FBs are not single ;)
     
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  9. HotForHoney

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    Not something I'd seek out. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened
     
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  10. Candela

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    A man acts like he wants to be your friend until you tell him..No benefits..Then lots of them start to get all stupid on you..So for me...Never!
     
  11. Niick

    Niick New Member

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    I don't mind being friends as well, as long as we have things in common and we enjoy each others company. And if that wasn't the case then I probably wouldn't even want a sexual relationship with the person in the first place. If I'm going to have sex with somebody I would want there to be feelings involved. I would want there to be a connection. I don't just want an emotionless body to fuck. I don't believe it has to be a "serious" boyfriend girlfriend relationship to have feelings for someone. By feelings I don't mean being in love with the person. I think you can have feelings (a friendly sexual connection) with someone and not be in love with them.

    There are lots of lovely girls out there that I find attractive, that I would not want to be in a serious relationship with for one reason or another, but that I'd love to be friends with benefits with. Maybe they're a lot older or younger than me, or maybe I'm find them attractive but I just don't see them as relationship material. Personally I wouldn't want to date someone that isn't close to my age, but I would still like to have some fun with those that aren't.

    I'm sure that if I let a girl know that I just want to be friends with benefits she would turn it around on me and get offended. She would probably say, "oh you just want to fuck me!". No, I don't just want to fuck you, I want to fuck you again and again and again for as long as neither of us are seeing anyone. I also want to make love to you and I wouldn't mind hanging out once in a while. Yes, ladies I did just say "make love to you". I'm sure some of you will disagree, but I don't believe you have to be in love with someone to make love to them. To me, the difference between fucking and making love is that fucking is merely a physical act, while with making love there is feelings and a connection that is more than just physical. Maybe it's spiritual, I don't know, but you feel like you're becoming one with the person while having sex. There's probably a lot of eye contact and kissing and touching involved with making love.

    The reason I asked this question is because it seems like girls always wants to get "serious" and I don't want that right now. Don't any of you ladies ever feel the same way? Seriously, why do you always want to be in a serious committed relationship?
     
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  12. MarkJ420

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    Hmm i wouldn't add the words friend or buddy at all. Personally i don't want sex with a 'friend'.

    The term booty call is a better one for any sex that happens just for the sake of the sex. I wouldn't call any one like that a 'friend' as such.
     
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  13. Meee

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    You see? I could tell the original question wasn't about "friends with benefits."
     
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  14. Niick

    Niick New Member

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    Actually I was talking about friends with benefits if you finish reading that, as opposed to a fuck buddy. I wouldn't have sex with someone who wasn't a friend.
     
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  15. Meee

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    I finished reading it. I just shortened the quote because long quotes go out of the frame.
     
  16. 10_3XL

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    But pretty much everything you just described there -- that's what a "serious" relationship is:

    Having a connection beyond the physical.
    Just "hanging out."
    Meeting up regularly to enjoy each other's company - sexually or not.
    Not just fucking, but "making love."

    I don't know if I'm confused trying to figure out what you want/what you're saying or if you are, buddy. :confused:
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    No not for me XL, Niick makes perfect sense and I have been there too.
    It is just that some folks despite being great for sex and other things are just never going to be suitable to be an all around monogamous long term official partner.
    Although I guess that situation in a way is some sort of "relationship" so perhaps it is a circular argument after all ;)
    But like Niick, I just can't fuck someone without there being some connection or chemistry that is why paid for sex feels so lacking and pretty much pointless for me.
     
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  18. 10_3XL

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    So, what it actually boils down to is how a person defines what constitutes a relationship... which could make things complicated if one person's thinking "Yes, we are in a relationship" and the other is not... Sounds like this situation would be more trouble than it's worth if you ask me.
     
  19. cbrmale

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    I have had affairs with married women which were friends with benefits, in that we liked each other and caught up for good sex every now and then. While in a closeness and intimacy sense the sex you have with the woman you love is the best; in a pure, carnal sense the sex you have purely for the sake of having great sex with someone who is there for no other than to have great sex with you is the most exhilarating. Until you do it a few times you probably won't know the difference, but after you do it then you will know.

    Married lovemaking is great, but those friends with benefits sessions are seared into my brain and will never be forgotten.
     
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  20. cbrmale

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    Mate, you don't know love. When you do (if you do and I have feeling that you may not), then you will know the difference.