Friends with an ex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, Mar 31, 2014.

  1. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,945
    Likes Received:
    17,221
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    Can you be friends with an ex?
    Does one party want more than the other?
    Does your current partner know? Are you hiding it?
    Is your current partner friends with an ex? How do you feel about it?



    I was friendly with an ex. He used to lean on me as a sounding board (messed up family life), tell me how his son was doing in school. It never got physical or even emotional for me. Just trying to be there for a FRIEND. He had some issues with his current girlfriend/wife and wanted my advice.
    He just sent me a message that we can't be "friends" bc he still thinks about me and it isn't fair to his wife.

    I never knew he felt like that. And I agree we shouldn't be friends under these circumstances.
    But now I feel like the other woman. Which I would NEVER want to be.
     
    CaramelLady likes this.
  2. CaramelLady

    Guest

    In your circumstance H4H, you are NOT the other woman. You offered friendship, nothing else. You are not responsible for his feelings. He did do the right thing and break it off. He was developing inappropriate feelings and stepped away. Please do not let this dissuade from being the compassionate person you are.

    Now my answers to your questions..

    Can you be friends with an ex? Yes I believe you can
    Does one party want more than the other? Sometimes.
    Does your current partner know? Are you hiding it? If you have to hide it, the relationship is inappropriate. Now matter how the two parties think they feel. Deceit is a sure fire way to know that something is going on, or that you want there to be something going on.
    Is your current partner friends with an ex? How do you feel about it? I am sure he his. In fact I know it. I am adult and respect that he had friends and some FWB and perhaps some emotional attachments to some women in his past. But I have to trust that what he FELT is just that felt, past tense. If he hid it, that would be hurtful. I would think why would he have a need to hide it from me. There must be something going on if he had to hide it.

    As always H4H a thought provoking topic. I am very interested in seeing what other members have to say on this topic
     
    JonJo and HotForHoney like this.
  3. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,964
    Likes Received:
    5,077
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Can you be friends with an ex?
    Yes all of them but not close
    Does one party want more than the other?
    Perhaps some still do but it won't be going there
    Does your current partner know? Are you hiding it?
    Not hiding but did before and she busted me as as bad as if I had been unfaithful; not worth the drama!
    Is your current partner friends with an ex? How do you feel about it?
    No she says (and I believe it) as he could not accept it was over; if she was more power to her
     
  4. GreyGoose

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    I still talk with an ex she lives in ny me in nc we email once in a while that is bout it
     
    luvbug likes this.
  5. ginger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2011
    Messages:
    3,945
    Likes Received:
    3,709
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    all over..
    my ex is my best friend get on now better than we did married :)