"Friday Funny"

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Bella

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    :rofl
    ~Bella


    A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when

    the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which

    will make me happy and sad at the same time."

    The wife thought for a few moments, then said,












    "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
     
  2. heelfetish

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    ouch!!! Good one!!!
     
  3. Bella

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    I know it is bad, but it made me laugh! :ugh
    ~Bella
     
  4. Bella

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    The Blonde and the Bodybuilder
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
    "What a great chest you have. He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."

    He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have." The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."

    He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
    The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!

    :rofl
    ~Bella

     
  5. johnnyangel694u

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    :rofl

    Way too funny, Bella.
     
  6. johnnyangel694u

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    oh, I take notice that you have a new avatar. It's about time.
     
  7. Bella

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    Thanks Will! :)
    Variety is the spice of life...
    ~Bella
     
  8. Bella

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    Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

    The first guy says ” I’m a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know… Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.”

    The second guy says “I’m a D.I.N.K, you know… Double Income, No Kids.”

    The third guy says, ” I’m a R.U.B, you know… Rich, Urban, Biker.”

    They turn to the woman and ask her, ” What are you? ”

    She replies: ” I’m a WIFE, you know…
    Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
     
  9. heelfetish

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    :rofl :lol :D
     
  10. Barbwire

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    Good jokes, Bella, keep 'em coming!
     
  11. Bella

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    Thank you! :)
    ~Bella
     
  12. Kisses

    Kisses New Member

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    Nice! :D
     
  13. Bella

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    Thank you Kisses! :)
    ~Bella
     
  14. anotherguy

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    :lol thats a good one
     
  15. Bella

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    Thank you! :)
    ~Bella
     
  16. Barbwire

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    Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks.

    After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her."

    After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her."

    The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go fuck herself."
     
  17. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    They were fucking funny.....sounds about right with the body builder to.....all those steriod tutututu....does nothing for percy
     
  18. Bella

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    Seen this one before, but still funny! :lol
    Thanks CL! :)
    ~Bella
     
  19. HardRocker

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    There was this gorilla out for his morning jog, when he came upon a lion who was lazily stretching with his haunches up in the air. Well it was too much to resist, so the gorilla grabbed him by the tail and butt fucked him. The gorilla then hauled ass outa' there and continued on his jog, while the lion was cussing up a storm and swearing revenge. Well, the lion took off after the ape running full bore. The gorilla heard the lion catching up but luckily he came upon an encampment of English hunters, so he swiped some khakis and a pith helmet from a clothesline, grabbed a newspaper and sat down on the nearest bench. As he was sitting there holding the paper up in front of his face, the lion came huffing and puffing into the camp. He walked up to the gorilla and said, "Hey, anybody seen a gorilla come this way?" The gorilla chuckled and said, "You mean the one that butt fucked the lion?" The lion said, "goddammit, you mean it's already in the papers!?"
     
  20. Bella

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    I thought I posted this?? :shrug
    ~Bella :rofl

    In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several
    attempts to get into the men's restroom,
    but it had always been occupied.

    A nurse noticed his predicament.

    Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you
    promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

    He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he
    noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

    Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP,
    and a red one labeled ATR.

    Who would know if he touched them?

    He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was
    sprayed gently upon his bottom.

    What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms
    don't have nice things like this.

    Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA
    button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his
    underside.

    When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large
    powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower
    to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a
    restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

    When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he
    couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would
    be supreme ecstasy.

    Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a
    hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

    "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I
    remember was pushing the ATR button.

    "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your
    penis is under your pillow."

    MEN NEVER LISTEN !!!! :rofl