Freinds with Benefits.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Sexkitten69, Apr 3, 2007.

  1. Sexkitten69

    Sexkitten69 New Member

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    Just curious, How many of you have or have had a freind(s) with benifits? If so How did it end? Or how are you keeping things going? What ARE the unspoken rules of a FWB?
    I've had my fair share but something always sours it to where either you only call eachother for hookups or the 'with benefits' just fades away compleetly allong with the Freind part as well:ugh .
    I have a guy in mind and it's headed down that road to being FWB, Normaly I'd jump at the chance, 'No commitment?! Hell YEA!' But when the quesition came up "you aren't like, expecting a relationship are you?" It knocked me back a couple feet and made me start thinking 'well what DO I want?, and through that process I though 'well what would it matter if I DID expect something other than sex and freindship? Am I good enough to fuck and nothing more? Something wrong with needing more than just a good fuck?' And all of which questions lead me to consider if I should even be going back into the fuckbuddy scene.
    If I do I'd want to go in actually knowing what i'm doing this time instead of going about it shot-in-the-dark like I was before, I want to be able to keep any emotion out of it and not hope or expect anything. Any advice or experience is apretiated from all the wise men and women of :sf :bow
     
  2. burton

    burton New Member

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    ive had 3... and i'm in a serious relationship now and i prefer this over any of those meaningless hookups.. those 3 people are no longer friends either.. well.. on and off, mainly we get aggravated with each other more easily than with other friends, and then you get to thinking, i can't believe i slept with this person, and you just get more aggravated.. but idk, it was fun then, but i enjoy the relationship i'm in now.
     
  3. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    It sounds like you need to decide if you really want in a relationship or not. Maybe it's time to hold out and just date a few guys letting them know you will not put out. The guy who sticks around would be more interested in "you" and not the sex. (but I'm sure it would be on his mind) (hey! we are guys!) lol. Good luck
     
  4. Sexkitten69

    Sexkitten69 New Member

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    Thanks Jag and Burt. I've been a mental mess since all that. This guy's just someone I wouldnt was to have a falling out with just because of sex. He's to good a friend. Who knows tho, maybe holding out could have better outcums than just living for the moment. And Lol I know guys will be guys and I dn't blame any of you for your mindframes *as silly, unrealistic and gutterminded as they may be** ^.~
     
  5. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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  6. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    SexKitten, that colour print hurts my eyes!

    Aren't FWB called Fuckbuddies these days?

    I've had a few aver the years and we always parted as friends.
     
  7. Sexkitten69

    Sexkitten69 New Member

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    Sorry Elvis :p I'm a semi-secret fan of pink, but here's a nice neutral green for your pussy-whipped eyes:D And yep they're Aka Fuckbuddies now days:lol
     
  8. cn283

    cn283 New Member

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    I've had one. We actually ended up dating in the end. (still together 2 years later). But we were very clear with each other that all we wanted was sex, nothing was to be read into, and no jealousy allowed. Also, we always tried to see other people to not get attached.
     
  9. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I have had one friends with benefits relationship. Personally I would not do it again. The person was someone whom I knew for several years. We were platonic friends nothing else. Then her inerests turns to sex but she states she is not interested in a relationship other than just remaining friends. I thought to myself great and ideal. Over about a year it starts to get messy as she wants more than just being friends and I did not want anything else more than the FWB relationship. So I wind up ending it amicably because I could not see the relationship progressing any further.

    The downfall to FWB relationship is that at some point one of the individuals involved starts developing deeper emotions and wants to take the relationship further. It is typically at that point where the relationship begins to sour and ends. Personally I would not see a FWB relationship lasting long and would feel FWB relationship at best is a short relationship.
     
  10. Sexkitten69

    Sexkitten69 New Member

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    Interesting, So really not many FWB ever does end on a good note. I'm usualy all for the no commitment thing, but i think i'd probably be the first one to start taking of things in a relationship if it ever hit a year ('spechialy with thig guy:/) so the advice and experinces help. Thanks again to everyone.
     
  11. AnonymousOne

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    Care for a different take on this?

    It depends entirely on the people involved.

    There, wisdom imparted, now ... it's time for you to make a choice. Ball's in your court lass. It sounds to me like you aren't exactly sure what you want, that that is a very dangerous kind of ignorance.
     
  12. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Once for me, started off as just fuck buddies,,,,that lasted for 7 years rofl....we both ended up falling for each other so it went from friends with benefits to a full blown relationship...
     
  13. Joe

    Joe
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    I've had one, and it lasted for a year or two. We had the rules, but none were "unspoken". We talked about it all before we started. She was in a sexless marriage and just wanted a little sex. We'd meet every couple months, usually for a couple days of hot sex. It ended when I met someone special (and that was one of the things we talked about ahead of time). I know she didn't really want it to end, but she was cool with it. Since the "someone special" moved in with me and knew about the relationship, she was a tiny bit jealous when the FWB would call just to chat, so we eventually broke off all contact.
     
  14. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Many thanks SK, much appreciated!

    I'd send you a token if only I knew how to!:(
     
  15. SexyScorp

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    I have a friend who tried the FWB thing....they were
    great friends until....

    they had sex....

    and now they cannot stand the sight of each other...

    bad move in his case...

    :(
     
  16. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I think most times if it started as a friendship, it is probably best to leave it as just that, rather than sexbuddies.
    Most times it will only bring you pain later on, but sometimes just sometimes it can work, but its a big gamble.

    Mine worked out for me, for 7 years hehe :)
     
  17. jemimer

    jemimer New Member

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    Sometimes it can work, If you get the right combination, I had a freind once, that was my best freind for years, we both experimented, for a few months and decided we were better as freinds, and remain so to this day, although the experimenting was fun becuase at the time I implicitly trusted him., were both married now ( not to each other ), and never talk about it, it hasnt changed things at all
     
  18. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I'm so sorry to interfere but I just wanted to clarify the correct spelling of the word friends. :phat :phat

    I wasn't going to say anything at first but now other posters have begun to repeat the mistake.
     
  19. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Fweends :p hehehe Puss you crack me up at times :p


    Jem thats so so cool that you and the guy are still friends down the line from back then :)
     
  20. jemimer

    jemimer New Member

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    yeah, have some very fond memories bout him too