FlirtyChick goes sarging with BassDude...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BassDude, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Yeah, that's right. FC is awesome! You folks remember the hot little waitress who used to be a stripper I mentioned a while back, right? Well, I had kind of given up on her as a possible playmate, but last week I had dinner at the restaurant in question and specifically asked for another waitress's section if available (another cutie who works there), and asked for our normal HB's (hot babe's) section if the other wasn't available. When I got there, our normal HB came up to me and said "I heard what you said." I said "What did I say?" She said "You asked for xxx's section first". I laughed..."are you mad?" With some sparkle in her eyes, she said "yes, I'm territorial." I laughed again..."Aww, I didn't know you cared." She said "I do", so I playfully said "Well then you'd better show it, chick". She huffed slightly and walked off. She came back a few minutes later and invited me to her upcoming birthday party. :D Cool.

    So, FC and I went...she knows FC as well (the invitation extended to FC as well...we both flirt with her). Her party was at a restaurant/bar about 15 miles away. I knew she had a boyfriend, and I had determined that he was the jealous type (he arm-twisted her to stop working at the strip bar) and that she was quite resentful about it (she went from making several grand a week to only several hundred a week). So, FC and I talked about how to handle him...for instance, FC would occupy the BF while I slid the HB off to a dark little corner for an intimate chat if possible, etc. I didn't get that opportunity, but man...I have to say FC makes a damn awesome wing-woman! (Although she flirted with our HB as much as I did, if not more. :lol) I made it a point to befriend the jealous BF so he couldn't be an asshole without looking like...well...an asshole.

    My goal was to come away with at least her cel# which she just hadn't given up yet (probably because of the jealous BF). Mission accomplished. :D We brought her a few gifts...FC gave her a Victoria's Secret gift certificate (I told our HB that she had to take me shopping with her though), a CD with one of my "Happy Birthday" renditions on it and artwork she could drool over, and a mood ring. (I've always been fascinated by mood rings...bought my daughter, me, and FC one earlier in the week, plus a few extras...decided to give one to our HB, she put it on immediately. ;) In fact, we appeared to be the only ones who brought gifts...go figure.) She couldn't stop smiling, and was quite happy to see us and hang with us.

    Her BF did not look at all like I would have expected...not a very attractive guy at all (quite surprising considering she's gorgeous), but his demeanor immediately screamed "I'm an asshole". FC got the same read on him, so we both killed him with kindness. He was nice enough to me...how could he not be? ;) After talking to him for a while, I told her "So...that's your BF huh? Does he cook?" She said "Yeah, why?" I said "I was just wondering if he'd make breakfast for you and I". She laughed and said "How about all four of us?" (Um, no, sorry...I'll make breakfast for her, me, and FC instead. :dgrin Oh...where was I?)

    Anyway, we hung out for a while. Then...the drama started. Apparently her BF decided to stir some crap, so he invented this story that FC had gone off to the bathroom and bonked one of his ugly and nasty friends. Then, he decided to drag HB away from the bar and take her home...she was tipsy, but not ready to go. An argument erupted...we caught the tail of it in the parking lot with him threatening to drive off in her car and leave her there, lock her out of the house they live in, etc. FC and I quickly reached the realization that he's not only a jealous asshole, he's a jealous AND abusive asshole. Wow. What the hell is this girl thinking?

    Anyway, they left and we started to head back into the bar to re-join some of the other waitresses from the same restaurant that we know (including the other cutie :brow), but the bouncer stopped us and said FC couldn't come back in because she had screwed somebody in the bathroom. I got a laugh out of that. Seriously...FC loves to flirt...but bonking someone in a bar bathroom that she has known for 30 minutes AND who is ugly as the ass-end of a mule, AND without even telling me about it? Um, I don't think so. That would be so far out of character for FC that she couldn't do it using someone's elses vagina rather than her own. :lol We both quickly realized the asshole BF had created the story so he could arm-twist our little HB into not associating with us..."look what kind of people they are...you can't hang out with them". It's a type of control tactic often used by jealous abusive assholes. Since we're obviously not scags like him and his cronies, he's probably scared to death that even a simple friendship with us might actually be good for her. Regardless, I'm still teasing FC about staying out of bathrooms in public places. :lol

    Anyway, I have the feeling that asshole BF and our HB won't be together too much longer (which, in my experienced judgement, will be a very good thing for her). I'd imagine FC and I will be seeing more of her in the not too distant future. :dgrin

    Anyway, the real point of this post is that I'm just absolutely friggin' thrilled to have my wife acting as my wing-woman in this little adventure! What a warm fuzzy feeling that gives me. Ya know? (Thanks FC.)

    BD
     
    #1 BassDude, Nov 29, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2008
  2. Dreama

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    Cool, BD! My only worry in all of this is that this guy is going to seriously hurt her-really jealous types can't be trusted. I know I've told this over and over again, but one of my best friends got killed by a jealous husband in high school (her parents were shitty, let her get married as a teen), and my other remaining best friend was in a marginally abusive relationship for a long while-I mean, FC knows how damaging these can be, as do you. She needs to get out. Plus, she sounds way too beautiful and sweet to be with such an ass. The reason she's with him could only be that he's worked hard to ruin her self esteem. I hope you do see her in the future-it will show her that she deserves much better in life from those around her, and how nice people can and will treat her better.
     
  3. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    can't wait to see how this unfolds ;)

    Just be aware that what ever games you guys play, she will be punished for them at home... You might want to continue them after she breaks up with the boyfriend and not give him any ammo to abuse her more.
     
  4. FlirtyChick

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    That is my two-cents, coming from a long-term physically and mentally abusive relationship......
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Oh yes, definitely understood ladies! I wouldn't think of coaxing her in a situation that would lead to her being punished by the a-hole.

    I find it really hard to play any games...I'm just too straightforward and don't like to be dishonest (about the only way I can say something that isn't true is via an obvious joke, flirt, tease, tall story, etc.). Yes, my thought is that after she has left him (which she indicated to FC probably wouldn't be too much longer) that then we might connect. I'm sure he'd find a way to punish her for even hanging out with us as friends. The reality is that she's such a cool chick that I like her even if she's never nothing more than just a friend anyway. If we spend a hot night or ten :p together (2 of us or maybe even 3 of us), that would be awesome...if nothing naughty ever happens, that's fine too. Some folks are just cool and it's completely worthwhile knowing them as friends. Plus, she ALWAYS treats our little girl special at the restaurant...they don't even have a bar, but she'll go mix up a pseudo-Shirley Temple for our daughter just because she knows she likes the cherries (and she dumps half a jar of marascino cherries into it too! :D Anyone who is good to my daughter wins my adoration easily.) That's the kind of person this young woman is. She's hesitant to call us, come hang out with us, etc., and now it's obvious to me that it's because she doesn't want to risk any "punishment" from her asshole BF.

    Why on earth do women stick with guys like this? Why? It escapes me. It really does.

    BD
     
  6. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Yes, I would tend to agree with this. She carries herself like she has plenty of self-esteem, so it's probably naturally there. I told her once that she seemed to have really good self-esteem and she looked at me with this look that said "If you only knew". After meeting him in person, I think I know where any self-esteem damage she might have has mostly come from.

    Aside from having some potential wild night, I would hope that her knowing us might give her enough sense of "I can do better" to make her want to dump his ass and go find someone actually worthy of a lovely and spirited partner, even if absolutely nothing ever transpires with us. (I'm not sure where I stand on religion these days, but I have come to believe that God puts people in our lives for some reason, even if it's just for a season.)

    BD
     
  7. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Absolutely understood! In fact, I think I recall FC calling the dude as asshole when we were in the parking lot trying to make sure her gifts went with her. I cautioned FC to not do anything to make him more angry than he already was because he'd just vent it on her when they got home.

    BD
     
  8. FlirtyChick

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    Because we have no self-esteem. Because we need someone else to make us feel important, to take care of us. I thought I explained all this to you already?
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    But sticking with abusive guys like this is the biggest reason WHY women like this HAVE self-esteem issues. Why wouldn't you take yourself away from the cause of the problem??? I would. (I did. And I will again when or if I need to. You finally did too, and I'm proud of you for that.) This is just really difficult for me to understand.

    BD
     
  10. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Is it necessary that you understand? I mean, I get the desire to understand, the curiosity, I'm like that, too, but, what do you want her to say or do? Just stop being who she is and thinking the way she does and valuing things the way she does and feeling the way she does? Then what? The world is full of people that think and see things the way you do? Or I do? Being with this guy didn't give her the self esteem problem. She had it long before she met him.

    Anyway, you guys are playing with fire with this girl. Just my opinion.
     
  11. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    No, it's not necessary that I truly understand. It's necessary that we as human beings feel compassion for other human beings and if the opportunity to help another human being get out of a situation that is damaging to them presents itself, we take that opportunity. It isn't about getting laid anymore...this is about empowering another human being with the knowledge that "it doesn't have to be this way".

    Yes, for a sexual playmate it would be playing with fire...definitely agreed. In terms of helping another person who appears to really need it (even if in some very simple and subtle way), it's not even optional...it's a necessity and part of our obligation as a person. Rest assured that protecting my wife and daughter (and myself) comes first...but if I can find a way to help this person realize what she's in without endangering my own family, I definitely will.

    BD
     
  12. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    BassDude is feeling quite troubled. Our friend believes the story about FC and the bathroom. We ate at the restaurant tonight and she tried to avoid us. I asked her to talk to me after my wife, daughter, and one of our best friends eating dinner with us left. I said "You don't actually believe the bathroom story, do you?" She said "I don't know...the bouncers, my BF, etc." I said "It's not true. It's a manipulation technique. Do you realize that?" She teared up and said "I don't want to talk about it...the weekend was not good", and she walked off. Essentially he has forbidden her from associating with us even in the restaurant, and not because FC did any of the alleged bathroom shenanigans, which is totally made up bullshit...because he wants to maintain control of everything she does, even when she's away from him. I can't tell you how strongly this activates my rescue instinct.

    On other thing that just makes me feel bad for her...I'm sure he destroyed or made her throw away the three gifts we gave her, including the Victoria's Secret gift certificate from FC, and the mood ring and birthday music CD I gave her. GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRR.....(yeah, that just went from a snarl to a roar).

    BD
     
    #12 BassDude, Dec 1, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2008
  13. FlirtyChick

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    He called me a whore. I am not, never have been, and never will be a whore. He is an asshole.
     
  14. FlirtyChick

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    I am done playing with anything, and will not do it again. That being said, I was in a long-term physically and mentally abusive relationship until I met BD. I had no self-esteem before I met this dude and I still don't have much. He is manipulating her, used us by creating a crazy story, and is trying to isolate her. I am leaving it alone. I know how crazy these control freaks can be, and I have a daughter to protect should he decide to do something insane. I feel sorry for this girl, but I cannot make her change her life, and unless she comes to me for help, it is not my responsibility. I don't mean to seem cold, but I have enough problems without inheriting hers!
     
  15. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    hugs hon xxxx
     
  16. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    Have you guys thought of placing an add in your local adult classifieds for a woman to play with. I have met lots of ladies that way... only one has become a play mate, but I have developed lovely friendships with two other women.... it might pay to look down that track.
     
  17. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK, I've said that I'm not quite sure where I stand with religion these days...BUT...I just did what I felt like God would want me to do. I went to the bookstore in the same shopping center as the restaurant in question, picked up a book called "The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change? A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or to Go", and since I know what car the girl in question drives, I put it on her windshield under the windshield wiper. And it's anonymous...she'll probably think it came from me or Flirty, but it's probably best for her (and best for us) if she just doesn't know who it actually came from. Reality is that quite a few of her co-workers witnessed her BF's verbally abusive behavior as I understand it ("They're fighting their way out the door"), so it could have come from any of them.

    There, dammit...I've injected some good kharma in the fabric of the universe for this person, I hope. This is at least what I'd want someone to do for my daughter, so I know I have to do the same thing.

    As long as she's with him or battling with him, this isn't a playmate I/we should even think about...sometimes being a proverbial "nice guy" just really friggin' sux.

    BD
     
  18. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Definitely agreed. FC, myself, and our daughter come before anything else on this planet in my view.

    BD
     
  19. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    We've tried that. Here in the US, there's so much scamming going on and so much competition that I/we really have to rely on in-person impressions (which are usually just fantastic) versus wading through all the friggin' junk that is involved in finding playmates online from web-sites. All the replies we've gotten have been either scam artists looking to make a buck or women I wouldn't even look twice at. Doing an "open relationship" is quite a bit different from "swinging", mainly because we're not looking for couples. For me, it takes a lot of effort to find a lady who 1) is looking for a good time including sex without emotional commitments and 2) doesn't mind that I'm married. There are very few single females in the "swinger" community...single females don't need to be swingers, they can get unattached sex any time and any where they want it. The single females that are in the swinger community are generally bi-sexual and looking for other bi females or couples with a bi female, which FC is not, so that doesn't jive either. The best candidates for me are "vanilla" (ie. non-swinger) single females. And that holds plenty of drama risk. Of course, I can't say that single males are any better in the drama category.

    I've been told from two different communities that I have to pretend I'm single or a cheater to make any progress by myself OR we have to approach women as a couple looking for a threesome. I actually like the couple approach best, but FC isn't bi so that throws some wrenches in the works.

    I have to admit though...it might be quite entertaining to just pretend I'm a cheater (I just don't think I can lie well enough to pull it off). I can hear the phone call to my wife now....

    Playmate: Hello is this Ms. BassDude?
    FC: Yes.
    Playmate: I'm fucking your husband.
    FC: Oh cool! You must be Bambi! How's it workin' for ya? Has he licked you until you pulled the sheets off the bed yet?
    Playmate: Um...(click...dial tone)

    :lol

    Honestly, I think pretending I'm a cheater holds some appeal to some women...they get the conquest of fucking a married man who should be off-limits (which in this case is a perceived conquest that really isn't a conquest at all). But again, I just don't think I could lie and card-stack well enough to pull that off. I'd much rather just be open and honest about it ("I'm in an open marriage") rather than playing any sort of games around it. But then again, there are those who say that telling a single woman "my wife is ok with this" is a serious mind-fuck for the single women...so really, I have no idea what will work best (although I do know that looking for a single female in the swinger community is NOT it). But, I have to admit it's kinda fun figuring it all out. :lol I'm certainly learning some things I did not know before.

    BD
     
  20. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Dude, I'm sure you've given this a lot of thought, but, from what I'm reading, and maybe there is more to it than that, but, from what I'm reading, you're out there playing missionary and now you're telling yourself it ain't about sex, just helping someone. You out there helping ugly people who are struggling just as much or worse and are actually reaching out or do you just help the good looking ones?

    All I am saying is maybe look a little deeper into your motivations and maybe see that, maybe, what you really want to do is play missionary with a broken person so you can, ultimately, have sex with her; a means to an end. This girls relationship with the 'tough guy' sounds dangerous to me. I have yet to meet the 'tough' guy who wasn't actually insecure, unpredictable and...dangerous.

    You're a better man than I if you can balance a life and family AND true altruism at the same time. Just be wary.