Flirting and double entendre...

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by BassDude, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    This ought to be a fun thread! :D Probably my favorite way to flirt is via innuendo, double-entendre, equivoque...essentially uttering a phrase that has dual-meanings (one of them being sexual of course!) Not only is it fun, but it's also funny...most people laugh when the other possible meaning hits them (or at least they smile while they wonder "did he mean what I think he meant?" :p) Sometimes it starts unintentionally, then I catch myself but figure I might as well finish the thought in the best way possible. My wife is actually a master of this as well.

    So, what's the best/funniest/whatever innuendo that has slipped out of your mouth recently? I'll list a few I can recall from myself or my wife....

    - Getting on an elevator with an attractive person: "Are you ready to go down?"

    - Discussing heating preferences for a two-story house: "Cool upstairs and hot downstairs is ideal."

    - Pondering extending a utility trailer to make it more maneuverable: "A long tongue is a good thing."

    - Complimenting someone's culinary skill: "You're a good cook...I could eat your stuff all night."

    - Planning some irrigation pipe: "How deep does this go in the hole?"

    - Helping someone carry something heavy down stairs: "Would you rather be on top or bottom?" ("Why don't you get on top...that should be better for you.")

    :brow:brow:brow

    BD
     
  2. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Very creative thread! I wish I could think of something at the moment, but my memory isn't cooperating. (I'm sure I did unintentionally drop some innuendo recently because I can recall saying something that struck me as kinda raunchy a second later...then I blushed profusely...and I remember hoping like hell that the other person didn't have a gutter brain, too :eyes :D)

    Good idea, though :tup (Maybe I'll remember later.)

    My favorite! :lol If you'd said that to me, I would've been very tempted to offer up my "stuff" on a silver platter :brow
     
  3. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    How about a woman and a man passing one another in a narrow space, such as the aisle on an airplane:

    Woman "Sorry about that."
    Man "Oh, don't worry,..I'll try not to hold it against you."

    Or here's one the nerds should appreciate, complimenting someone on his incredibly well-endowed harddrive space:

    "You've got the biggest disk I've ever seen."
     
  4. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeast US
    Did you say this to me??????

    The last one I executed was on the phone before Christmas...

    Other person: "So and so wants to know where his Christmas present is"

    Me: "Tell him I carry it with me all the time"

    Other person: (giggles, nervously) Wonder what pic he had in his head???

    I can be sooooo naughty.......
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,681
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rocky Mountains
    Every morning my wife slides her coffee cup towards me and asks, "Would you fill me up?" (Cute little grin.)
     
  6. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    Hubby and I were at the hardware store and were picking out screws. Hubby asked a clerk how many screws he thought he needed for a project.

    He looked my husband in the eye and said, "Are you one of those guys that likes to screw everything to death?"

    I burst out laughing so loud and heartily, I choked, and needed to rush to the back of the store to get a drink at the water fountain.

     
  7. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Yup!

    Love it! :D One of my birthdays several years ago, one of our lady friends told me "I have your birthday present packaged nicely...you'll have to come get it later though", or something along those lines.

    Here's another nerdy one: "This requires a large hard-disk...you simply can't do this with a floppy."

    On the benefits of washing your hands frequently: "I'm a little compulsive about keeping three things clean."

    On needing a rigid pole for some purpose: "You can't play pool with a rope, ya know."

    BD
     
    #7 BassDude, Jan 19, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2008
  8. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Well...I'm sure we could make something quite good with your stuff, Bluesy. ;)

    More:
    While struggling to get something into it's packaging: "Can you help me get it in? It's a tight fit."

    BD
     
  9. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    This is joke thread, no? In my country, unless you were close friends, comments such as these would land you in BIG trouble for sexual harrassment. In any case this is not my style of humour, I am much dryer and more ironic.
     
  10. Thorn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    3
    We were in the produce department a the grocery store a while back. Rose asked me to get a cucomber since we were having a salad with supper that night. I went over and picked a huge one out and a small one, held both up and said, "which one?" She was about 25 feet from me picking out some bananas. She answered my question, "either one, it doesn't matter." So I said back to her, "So size doesn't matter?"
     
  11. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Um, no it's not a joke thread, although I do hope it's quite entertaining. :D Yes, comments like this at work with people you don't know well (particularly if you are a man saying things like this to a woman) could very well result in sexual harrassment charges. But, I'm not exactly an idiot (or at least not most of the time), so comments like these are generally kept to myself at work. With friends, acquaintances, people at bars, parties, or social gatherings, whatever else...anything goes (as long as it's tasteful and non-offensive to anyone). Folks who know me would generally be a little disappointed if a few crazy things didn't come out of my mouth when I'm around. ;)

    BD
     
  12. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeast US
    Yeah, you never know what might come out of his mouth, or go in it for that matter!:rofl
     
  13. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Or go on it....:brow

    An unintentional one that slipped out...a friend apologizing for not being able to schedule some time together: "Oh, don't be sorry...we'll coincide sooner or later!"

    BD
     
  14. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    "It's the thickest one I've got at the moment," said by me in reference to a Sharpie. It conjured up mental images that were definitely non-Sharpie related :eyes :dgrin
     
  15. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Southern Cone
    Aussies are so weird!

    Like the Brits, they're so damned smart they intellectualize themselves out of a lot of natural fun, and harmless spontaneity!
     
  16. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Taking turns at some game or activity: "I go behind you, right?"
     
  17. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,844
    Likes Received:
    5,855
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Actually Cbrmale is right. In Australia flirting or sexually suggestive innuendo can get you into a lot of strife. Unless you know the person really well. Even if you have worked with someone for years it is pretty much forbidden. You can take your chances and it could be OK, but I certainly wouldn't risk it at my work.

    Sorry to be a downer BD because I kind of like the idea.
     
  18. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    The Swede: "I've got a few ideas for activities this evening."
    Me: "Would you like to fill me in?"
     
  19. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2007
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    When I was doing desktop network support, there was this one chick I went to help.

    I told her I needed to go down under he desk. She said "I've been waiting a long time for you to say that'

    I said, oh sure, now you want me" She said, I've wanted you for a long time."

    It was the beginning of a hot hookup. She was engaged, but hooked up several times. I don't do end user support anymore, but we still grin when we see each other. She was a freak !
     
  20. kaffwahn

    kaffwahn New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2007
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    UK
    After sharing a tray of chips, the boyfriend says "you like having something hot inside you" :D