first timers help

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Pointman, Apr 8, 2011.

  1. Pointman

    Pointman New Member

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    greetings SF,

    It's been awhile since i last posted, as i didn't have much to contribute to anything.

    However, now i'm facing some challenges. first off,

    2 days ago, i tried to pull my foreskin back, and it hurt like hell. Theres nothing wrong with the head, and it looks like theres some lesions on the foreskin. should i see a doctor? or is it because of problem 2

    i tried having sex with my partner, and we're both first timers. So, i'd give her cunnilingus, and then i'd try to penetrate her with a generous amount of lube, but whatever happens, she says it hurts too much. Truth is, she's really tight, and i only got in as far as the head, which is why i thought it might be the reason for number 1...

    any help is appreciated =)
     
  2. Texas_Red

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    Lesions in that area can be from a number of things, and not necessarily an STI. However, you do need to see a doctor right away. Regardless of the reason, you need to get that treated.
     
  3. Pointman

    Pointman New Member

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    yeah, i'll probably see my doctor this afternoon before work. It's like the foreskin has tightened up as well, making it hard and painful to pull back. i hope it's nothing too serious
     
  4. HardRocker

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    Might just be irritated from the new attention it's getting.
     
  5. Pointman

    Pointman New Member

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    so anyone got any advice on the "she being too tight" thing.. i mean, she want's to do it, but it hurts too much for her. Should i go slow or fast? should i use a different lube? (could this be a result of problem 2? it's the strawberry flavoured one from Durex, she doesn't like it cause she says it stings)
     
  6. Texas_Red

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    How much foreplay is involved? Some girls just have a really small vaginal canal, so you may just have to work at it. Maybe buy a bunch of sex toys, starting one small enough to stretch her a little but not hurt, and work up. Not really sure to be honest. Definitely go slower and see how that works.
     
  7. Hot Wheels

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    As the others have already said....see a doctor about your foreskin pain.
    second.....your both first timers....so of course she's gonna' be tight...
    And to make matters worse, she may be tense because she can tell that your tense because of your own problem.....understand?
    Before you try anything else, get yourself fixed up first, then concentrate on her....
    Oh'....and don't fool around with the flavoured lube.....it's only a novelty and can have a negative effect on some people's skin.
    Best start off with good ol' Astrolube or KY jelly.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    Women do know that first-time sex can be painful and they may get nervous, preventing full relaxation and arousal. There's only so much we men can do, even when we're experienced. My wife was like this and I'd never had sex with a virgin before, but I'd had a lot of sex prior to her first time so I largely ignored her pain and just went for it. It hurt her for a bit and her tightness hurt me in the process, then it was okay. When we next had sex the next morning it was all good. I guessed her nerves rather than tearing her hymen was the problem, but once she knew the worst was over she was able to relax into it.

    Surprisingly, she tells me she enjoyed that first time, but she had also been waiting a long time for it so I don't know. I didn't enjoy it much, but sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    Busted my young SO's cherry Pointman and like you first time did not even managed past the front door.
    Next attempt used lots & lots of PJur silicone lube and even with her aroused it was so tight it hurt us both. She became bitter that even half a dozen times later it was still too tight for comfort.
    Next time I asked her to play with herself before I arrived and to her delight she orgasmed for the first time in her 26 years of life.
    When I did make love to her she had two more!
    From then on she became a sexual rampant and still is over two years later.
    Once the genie was out no way to put it back in the bottle ;)
     
  10. Pointman

    Pointman New Member

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    well, that's 17 bucks of flavored lube down the drain... don't get me wrong, both my problems are isolated incidents. Just that, the foreskin hurting was after we tried. And still, furthest i got was the lobby.

    trust me, when i say tight... she's really tight, first time i fingered her, i barely got the first section of my forefinger in when she said it hurt... we're trying to go further and further with each attempt.

    We do qutie a bit of foreplay before actually trying it. She usually gets really wet before i give her cunnilingus...
     
  11. Pointman

    Pointman New Member

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    well, i met the doc, and he said it was friction tearing. Gave me an antibiotic cream for it =)
     
  12. lbushwalker

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    Astroglyde or PJur are your friends then dude.
     
  13. shortNsweet90

    shortNsweet90 New Member

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    are you using condoms? my last boyfriend and i had sex without condoms all the time because i was on birth control and we both had been tested before hand of course since our last relationship before hand. but he was uncircumcised and i was so tight from not having sex for so long that i litterally torn some of his fore skin off. very painful for both of us, more him then me of course.

    well atleast i know he'll never forget about me everytime he goes to wack off =D
     
  14. timfhenderson

    timfhenderson New Member

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    I'm just gonna second foreplay, the more, the better. Not to mention, if you're a first-timer, you probably need some practice down there. She'll be returning the favor like crazy!
     
  15. Texas_Red

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    That's good to hear. :)
     
  16. Alwayslearningsex

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    Only one way to go through it ..... just do it.
    Normal to hurt for the first time(s) for a woman, it's expected.
    My advice is gentleness and patience.
    Start with getting her ready then push the head, all stops.
    Once it's "okay push a little bit more in, do nothing else,
    repeat adding a little bit more in until you are fully inside her, then just stay in, nothing else. Once it gets a little better move and thrust slowly, gently. Don't look for fireworks, she's new at penetration, give open her, nothing more. It's normal to hurt. My wife was a virgin and someone who didn't have a man for 9 years, same thing, just patience and gentleness.