First Time Sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by suges, Jun 19, 2011.

  1. suges

    suges New Member

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    Hi, I'm new to the forum.

    I'm aware that this isn't the first topic like this and that it won't be the last, so... sorry about that

    So getting on to the topic now, my girlfriend and i have decided to have sex. We are both commited and very much in love. We're both 19 this year and have decided that we both want this - neither of us have been pressurised into doing this.

    We've been dating for about 7 months now. Perhaps it can be questioned whether 7 months is long enough to date a person before giving your virginity to them, but we've been close friends for many years. Anyway i'd rather not get into our relationship history, which is besides the point.

    I've googled 'first time sex' and know most of what i should, including whether i am ready, laws, common disappointments, and the like. Also there's been enough sex education from back in school for me to know what i should about contraception, STDs, pregnancy etc.

    But there are still some stuff i wanna know..

    Should i use a condom or buy those contraception pills? (they have at the local clinic, and a friend of mine has bought pills from there several times)
    Or would it be better if both a condom and a pill is used?
    Or only a condom?

    Personally i'd prefer it without a condom, but then again i haven't had sex before so i wouldn't know if it's actually any better.

    Would it work out if we had sex without lube at hand? I'm not sure where to get it and i'd be too embarassed to buy it if i could. Unless something like baby oil could be used if necessary? Or would that be a bad idea since it's not water-based?

    Also, is there anything i should know that i won't find on google?

    Any questions or comments are welcome
     
  2. nurseharley

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    Stop being embarrassed about sex. If you're a mature adult then there's nothing to get all red faced over. I'd go to wal mart and buy some lube. After all, you're gonna need to buy condoms....are you too embarrassed for that? I wouldn't use baby oil btw. Go with ky jelly at least

    Y'all are young and need to protect yourselves as much as possible IMO, so I'd go with the pill and a condom. If you feel the need to take the condom off and feel her pussy on your bare cock, go for it but at least she'll be on the pill too
     
  3. suges

    suges New Member

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    Thanks

    Well.. i'll get those from the varsity bathrooms :ugh
     
  4. nurseharley

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    Lol ohhh sugar

    Just buy a big pack from 7-eleven, you'll need them
     
  5. pbs

    pbs
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    Wow, a trip down memory lane:) My experience has been that the first time is more of an emotional thing for a girl, and more of a physical thing for a guy. My advice would be to go slowly and gently LET things happen, and be ready to laugh if things don't go exactly as planned. Be very careful not to hurt her, and even be ready for tears if they should come.
     
  6. suges

    suges New Member

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    Alright, yeah, guess i could do that. Not sure about the lube, though..


    Thanks a lot, will keep that in mind.
     
  7. Maverick

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    There's a lot of thought going into this, and that is impressive to me. Good luck.
     
  8. nurseharley

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    You're gonna regret it! Lube is verrrry convenient :D trust me, people buy much worse than lube
     
  9. Meee

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    Welcome to the site. Are you talking about morning-after pills? It doesn't sound like you're talking about regular birth control pills.
     
  10. giannoutso83

    giannoutso83 New Member

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    use condoms, be sober and have a great time
     
  11. suges

    suges New Member

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    I'm not sure... what's the difference?
     
  12. nurseharley

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    Morning after pill is a one time thing, for emergencies in case a condom breaks or she forgets her regular bc. Birth control is a pill she would take daily
     
  13. Texas_Red

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    And she would need to have been taking for a minimum of 2 weeks, and more preferably a full cycle before you attempted sex sans condom.
     
  14. Alwayslearningsex

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    Granted it feels better without a condom BUT play it safe pregnancy wise.
    Are you ready to be a parent? OR, like some do, will you run once she is pregnant before the time is right in your lives? Not pegging you into anything, but making you think about it. If you love her she certainly do her part with contraceptives, however you do yours too. When you know better about where things are going then the condom can come off, remember no contraceptive is 100% safe, just pretty safe.
    The idea of pulling out before you ejaculate, DON'T think about it !!!!
    DO not expect your partner to do it all, check for penis size and have proper size condoms, it makes a difference. There are some real thin that feel real good. NEVER reuse the same condom twice, once it's filled stop doing it. I did once to take advantage of my erection still good to go and this broke the condom. I was scared for a few days for pregnancy.
     
  15. suges

    suges New Member

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    Thanks, a lot of information there i didn't know about.

    So basically birth control pills has no effect until after 2 weeks of daily dosage?

    So could i do that if she hasn't been on the birth control pill for 2 weeks? Or should i wait at least 2 weeks? Or... should i instead wait till i know where things are going, as mentioned above?
     
  16. nurseharley

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    I wouldn't suggest an emergency pill being used for this kind of situation. The best thing to do is have her get on the pill and get used to taking it as part of a daily routine if y'all plan on being sexually active.

    All birth controls should be started AT LEAST two weeks before having sex to work properly, so if y'all plan on having sex soon just go ahead and get her on it
     
  17. Texas_Red

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    This.

    The 2 weeks thing isn't a guarantee, it's just what is considered the minimum amount of time for things to be working right.

    if you *really* want to be doing it safely, get her on the pill, let her do it for a full month cycle, and use a condom and lube until then. Then, and only then, if you feel you're ready, go for it. But keep in mind what Alwayslearningsex posed: are you ready to be a parent should a pregnancy occur? Will you run if it happens? The pill is the most effective form of birth control by statistic, but it's not perfect, and everything fails once in awhile. You have to be ready for that.
     
  18. cbrmale

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    When I was your age and having early sex we never, ever relied on condoms for birth control. Very unreliable. We never used condoms at all, in fact, but this is the late seventies into the mid-eighties. I personally don't like them, and a lot of men on this forum who can't come during sex, very disappointing for both partners and especially for women, have this problem because of condoms. It's like having a shower in a raincoat.

    If you want to go with the birth control pill, it's quite easy. Take the tablets same time every day for two weeks and you are good to go. But even if you want to use condoms, DO NOT RELY ON THEM ALONE FOR BIRTH CONTROL.
     
  19. smiles

    smiles New Member

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    You're 19, you've never had sex, you do not want to be a parent now. Period. Enjoy your life for a while.

    I'd give it at least a full cycle of birth control pills before you even think about unwrapped sex. And she will have to be the one to go to the doctor to get them, she'll need an exam, and a prescription; just like the morning after pill, but don't even think about the morning after pill... that's not something you take regularly for birth control.

    Go buy condoms at the store. Get ones that are lubricated. Get ones with spermicide. Try one on at home before you get with her, so you know what to expect and aren't fumbling with it when the time comes. Yes, buy a whole box, not just one you pick up in a locker room. You will need them, and probably more than one the first time, if all goes well.

    Whoever said it was right... sex is an emotional thing for women, and a physical thing for men. She might cry. She might think she wants to do it, and then when things get going, she might change her mind. Be ready for that. But the biggest thing as far as emotions... afterplay. If you do get to do it, or even if not... you must have afterplay. Lay there and hold her. Talk to her. Let her talk to you. Foreplay for the next sex session starts IMMEDIATELY after this session. Don't EVER forget that.

    Have you heard of splash pregnancies? My friend had a baby due to a splash pregnancy. They hadn't had sex, but he came on her "down there" and his fluids mixed with hers, and bam they were pregnant. Pregnancy is something that happens in the blink of an eye and it's super easy, so you have to have your defenses built up. Condoms, spermicide, pill, etc.

    Have fun. Relax. Enjoy. Your pre-planning is amazing. Good for you! =)
     
  20. pbs

    pbs
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    Good point :)