[Ask a Girl] First time sex

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by superfreak, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. superfreak

    superfreak New Member

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    Well , me n my gf decided to do it very soon .
    we decided to go to a little beach challet.
    now im afraid of premature ejaculation.
    am afraid of everythin. now we have total harmony and wer deeply inlove , and recently when we kiss , we feel enormous lust towards each other and we foreplay alot . all we need is a bed.
    so it should be easy to do it .
    but my questions are
    1- will my premature ejaculation kill the hardness and make me stop wantin to continue??
    2-im not "physically" strong , will that make it hard for me to penetrate in and out?
    3-this is funny , what if i missed the vagina?:p , will i hurt her??
    4-what should i know , what should i do to please her, i care about pleasing her before my pleasure,am thinkin of a blowin her first and some long foreplay first .
    5-i have a phobia towards the pregnancy thing , will my condom come off when its inside??and if it does and i came inside , is there a way we can do anythin to prevent pregnancy?
    6-shes a virgin , and so am i, would it to be hard to penetrate ? should she take some medicine or somethin similiar?
    7th and last - i need tips to make this event remembered for ever by me and her :).
    i wants guys answers too , but i mainly wanted girls answers thats why i put [ask a girl] .
    thanks!
     
  2. newguy75

    newguy75 New Member

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    Use plenty of lube and go slow
     
  3. cbrmale

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    1- will my premature ejaculation kill the hardness and make me stop wantin to continue??

    You should penetrate slowly, you will need to if it's her first time, and you should thrust slowly as well. By thrusting relatively slowly, against our natural urge, is how all men last.

    2-im not "physically" strong , will that make it hard for me to penetrate in and out? No

    3-this is funny , what if i missed the vagina?:p , will i hurt her??

    You should probably let her guide you in. I've rarely had sex (>4000 times) when my partner hasn't done this for me, I find it awkward to balance my weight and guide my cock at the same time.

    4-what should i know , what should i do to please her, i care about pleasing her before my pleasure,am thinkin of a blowin her first and some long foreplay first .

    This is what I do almost every single time as well. Women rarely come through intercourse and it's best to pleasure her before.

    5-i have a phobia towards the pregnancy thing , will my condom come off when its inside??

    You should never, ever, ever in a million years rely on condoms for birth control. It's a ridiculous concept, condoms are only good to protect from STIs, which don't apply in your case. You must use something more reliable, like the birth control pill.

    6. and if it does and i came inside , is there a way we can do anythin to prevent pregnancy?

    The morning after pill is available in Australia, but you should check in your country.

    6-shes a virgin , and so am i, would it to be hard to penetrate ? should she take some medicine or somethin similiar?

    You should arouse her to orgasm as you planned, and then use some lube and penetrate slowly. She may be tense and nervous and there may be a need for you to be firm. I have only had sex once with a virgin, but I'd had sex many times with other women so I knew what to do. In your case you are going to see how it goes, but I know many couples give up first time. I don't think that giving up helps, because you will have to do it eventually. In my case I was very firm with my now wife and her first time and it wasn't a pleasant experience for her. But her second time, next morning, was much better. Indeed, she enjoyed that morning a lot, and appreciated what I had done the night before.

    7th and last - i need tips to make this event remembered for ever by me and her :).

    You will always remember your first times, but you should be realistic that you are starting out on a long journey. Your first time sex will be memorable, but it won't be the best sex you will ever have.
     
  4. superfreak

    superfreak New Member

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    whats the difference between penetration and thrusting?
    what is a "birth control pill" how is it taken??
    what is the morning afterpill?? how is it taken?? can you name medicals names found in the market?and why isnt the condom a reliable thing in birthcontrol?
    theres no lube in my country i guess . are these pure sexual stuff , or theyr used for else things?? can you please name me some market names? and is vaseline good?
    thanks!
     
  5. igor

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    I have to disagree with this. We used them for years and had no problems. When properly used and handled properly, they are just fine.
     
  6. cbrmale

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    When used properly, they have a failure rate 3 times that of the birth control pill. When not used properly, they have a failure rate 19 times the brith control pill. Three times or nineteen times is no comparison.

    Condoms belong to my parent's era, the 1950s, and men never ejaculated inside in those days because they were so unreliable. At school in Australia, children are advised not to rely on condoms because they are so unreliable.

    You can disagree all you like, but you should be more considerate of the potential consequences of what you post. A tragedy could be created and will you take responsibility for that?
     
  7. cbrmale

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    I take it that leb means Lebanon, in whcih case you're up against it. Penetration is initial entry of the penis and thrusting is the motion we use after penetration.

    The birth control pill has been available in the West for almost fifty years, and it is a mixture of hormones designed to trick a woman's body that she's pregnant, thereby supressing her ovulation, meaning she can't fall pregnant. When used correctly it is extremely reliable, but if you do not have access to it or don't know how to use it then you will have to rely on condoms.

    The morning after pill is a dose of hormones designed to be used by women after unprotected sex, and it prevents pregnancy from happening after sex. It's been available in the West for around 30 years or so.

    Finally, there must be lube available because it is not possible to use condoms without it. The most common world-wide brand is KY. Vaseline tends to go sticky, so I don't know if it would work properly for you.
     
  8. igor

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    OK - according to the Planned Parenthood web site:
    condoms = 2 out of 100 may become pregnant
    pill = 1 out of 100 may become pregnant

    Wouldn't you rather someone use a condom instead of nothing at all? It sounds like this guy is eager to "get it on" and they may not want to wait for the pill to take effect. The pill may not be easily available to them (I have no idea).

    As for me taking responsibility for what I posted, we are just giving our opinions here. He has the internet - he can do all the searching on his own and make his own decision.
     
  9. igor

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    Something else I should have added: the pill won't protect against diseases. The condom will.
    The better solution would be to use both of course.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    Both virgins, no STIs.
     
  11. cbrmale

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    According to AMA statistics: failure rate of the birth control pill - 1-3 percent, failure rate of condoms - 3 to 19 percent.

    At best, twice as unreliable (American stats), or three times more unreliable (Australian) stats. I stand by my statement that an individual has to take responsibility for passing on bad advice to a question asked in good faith. Do you feel your advice is valid, given the 'at best' failure rate is double the commonly available birth control pill, or did you pass on bad advice?

    It is not a case of condoms or nothing at all, because when you posted your misleading advice we had no idea just how difficult his situation was. Nonetheless, this is a forum to help those who ask for assistance, not to make misleading statements and then clarify that such misleading statement was just an 'opinion' that ought to be disregarded.
     
  12. heelfetish

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    Last time I checked, sex was just one of the many ways some of these diseases are transmitted. So even if someone has never had sex, there is still a possibility they could be infected, and therefore contagious. It only stands to reason that it's a wise idea to wear a condom, regardless of both partners being 'virgins'.
     
  13. igor

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    OK - one last post on this from me.

    Go look at my original post. I said I disagreed with your statement that condoms should never in a million years be relied on for BC. I then said we (the wife and I) used them for years with no problems.

    Now you tell me what bad advice did I give? Where is the "misleading statement"?

    I admit I missed where he said they were both virgins (not that it makes any difference).
    And yes, I agree that according to statistics the pill is more effective than a condom, but I think you are blowing the difference way out of proportion.
     
  14. Dreama

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    I wouldn't say that condoms are soooo unreliable, but the pill is much more reliable. As Igor said, use both at the same time. Why does Lebanon not have lube? Make sure your condoms are lubricated.
     
  15. cbrmale

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    Lebanon probably, almost certainly, has lube for sale, but the country being what the country is, it wouldn't be sitting on the supermarket shelf like we are used to. The sexual attitude in Lebanon will be hard for anyone here to imagine, but we have a sub-community of Lebanese living in nearby Sydney and I understand elements of the sexual attitude of their culture. Some of you may remember the race riots in Sydney a couple of years ago. It started when some Lebanese men from the western suburbs invaded beaches in the east of the city and abused women for bathing topless, which is the norm in Australia. The abuse turned to violence, and Australian men were forced to protect these women and the whole thing got ugly.

    In the aftermath, it was felt that the sexual oppression that the Lebanese men live under when surrounded by the sexual liberality of Australia created an explosive mix. Unable to mix with Australian women, and not able to be sexually expressive within their own culture while surrounded by Australians of the same age who are clearly enjoying sexual freedom, they were young (and not so young, in their twenties) men suffering from extreme sexual frustration. You can imagine the collective sexual tension.

    The advice on condoms was poor. Clearly they are not terribly reliable, and given the young man asking for advice wouldn't know how to use them correctly, they are going to be even less reliable. What chance sex education with a dildo to show the correct way to use a condom? The pill is 'take a tablet the same time every day for a couple of weeks', which is much easier to master.