First Time Sex Questions

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Godiva, Sep 28, 2010.

  1. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    I recently after much debate chose to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time for me ever.

    It hurt more than i thought but after a while it felt nice.

    Is it normal to not feel anything past the first 2 inches in during sex? I didn't feel a thing, so it felt similar to being fingered except less good if that makes sense? Fingers can aim and apply a lot of pressure where as a penis can't? Am i right? Will it keep getting better and better?

    We tried several positions, my favorite was sitting down in lotus. I felt the most friction and felt enjoyable. With my legs closed was also nice but he thought the movement was awkward. What are some good positions for maximum friction and minimum awkward?

    I do kegels and i will continue to and one day invest in a kegel master.

    Sometimes it hurts, like it felt like he was too big but he said he didn't feel the "End of the tunnel" What could be causing this pain. It was a weird pain. He said my canal wasn't straight it had slight curves and bends inside. Is this normal? Could the head be sticking in on one of these bends, as he has a curve to him, and that could be causing the discomfort??

    Also my alone time doesn't feel as powerful as it once did :(. Will this go back to normal?
     
    #1 Godiva, Sep 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2010
  2. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,513
    Likes Received:
    4,416
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    I'm glad you're asking these questions.
    Lotus is a good position but depending on yours and his size, is actually terrible for deep penetration. As far as good positions are concerned, the one I've found I like the best that is good for just the right amount of penetration for ME is doggy style and spooning.

    The pain is normal. It's going to hurt. There is a huge difference between fingers and a penis. Was there more pain when he was going in then when he was pulling out? If so, he's hitting your cervix, especially if he's got a larger member. Hitting the cervix will cause a lot of pain.

    It's normal to not feel too much your first few times. Your body is changing and getting used to having this new thing in it. It's been years since the first time I had sex, I honestly can't recall if it's "normal" to not feel anything past the first two inches, but after reading a few things (while writing this) it's actually a common worry with young girls. "Is something wrong with me? I can't feel my boyfriend in me!"

    Maybe some of the other women on this site can give you a better answer as far as that's concerned.

    Uh, The vagina isn't just a straight arrow, it's got a curve to it. Depending on the size and angle of your mans erection, it can cause a bit of discomfort. That just means you have to try a new position.

    As far as I know, masturbation shouldn't feel different. What feels different about it? Do you finger yourself a lot during it or do you do clitoral stimulation? Of course it's going to feel different if you finger yourself now, as your hymen is gone and your vagina has gone through a change. I DOUBT it's the hymen that was giving you all the pleasure, as it's just a mucus membrane that has absolutely no nerve endings in it.

    So, I'm assuming that self pleasure will go back to normal, and yes, sex will start to feel better once your body gets used to it.

    Explore each other, learn what you like. Learn what works best for both of you and always be safe.

    I suggest buying a positions book or finding an online source if you don't want the book at home and exploring positions that you two may like.

    I have a book called "The sex position bible" my guy and I actually got it for shits and giggles and it's turned out to be quite a little helper. It only cost us about 10 bucks at our local book store, check it out if you can. :)
     
  3. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    he said he didn't feel like he was hitting my cervix. By my judgment he is about 6 inches long and about 3.5-4 inches around. I thought it was that...it might be the angle of his erection inside me. It might be coz it was the first time? It wasn't really pain it just felt like somethign was poking where it shouldn't.

    Yeah i could feel the entrance but not much else and the deeper he got the less i felt, like i lowered myself right down and still felt like it wasn't getting deeper inside until he throbbed sometimes.

    When i touch myself usually i just apply pressure to the outside of my underwear, with a thumb circling my clitoris. I used to feel a tightness as i would apply pressure to the entrance, but now its like an open hole and it's not tight...maybe he ripped me where he shouldn't have? But there was no blood, so that can't be it.

    I've got a good source of lots of positions but it doesn't mention which is good for what in great detail, we'll have to just experiment ourselves!

    I'm embarrassed buying that stuff....but if he bought it (which he intends to buy a tantric sex book) he can hide it at his because if mummy finds it I'm butchered! Wouldn't be surprised if she gets me circumcised! lol. But yeh, we know quite a bit about positions and we're both willing to try new ones out.
     
  4. disneydad

    disneydad New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2010
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Imho you said it was nice. Don't overthink it. Communicate with your lover just the way you have been. Together you will build memories. You'll find yourselves saying " remember when we did it in that position what if we added alittle lick during that "just enjoy!
     
  5. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,513
    Likes Received:
    4,416
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    I'm with DisneyDad, just stop over thinking things. Lol.
    Let your body get used to it and give yourselves time to explore.

    If you TRULY think something is wrong with yourself, then go ahead and take yourself to an OB/GYN.
     
  6. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,073
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    At this stage experimentation is the key. Determine what works for your bodies combination.
    No two couples are quite alike so things that may be awesome for some might be nothing to others.
    Basic licking, sucking and fingering are always a good start until you get aroused then possibly your senses will be heightened sufficiently to feel good deeper in your vaginal canal. I believe (and girls here may correct me) that it is the gentle stretching of the vagina feeling rather than deep insertion of penetration that actually provides the majority of pleasure. Again that probably varies between individuals.
    Wishing you well on your journey of discovery :)
     
  7. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    I'll try not to think too much, but I'm just a worry wart by nature.
    I need to go to the city in a fortnight so we'll probably try again there, but this time i'll try to do it in a loving way instead of "getting it out of the way", and probably more foreplay...haha. We were severely lacking last time because i was impatient and he had no lube so that was just dumb.
     
  8. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Lube is good, but try not to over do it either because it can reduce sensation. But at this point in your sex life it's all going to be trial and error(or success) for a while now.
     
  9. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    Thanks for the tip. I think i'll cave and do it, but i'm going to try hang on for a little bit more...until we are engaged which could be soon. I know it makes no difference and is just a ring, but once i'm out of this house under a new roof, i'll feel a lot better about it and don't have to hide it from my mum. :)
    Then i'll let loose!
    *excited*
    And then marriage sex....completely un-guilty sex!
     
  10. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    LOL. So what do you think, everybody? Should we break it to her about all the ways you're supposed to feel guilty about sex even in marriage too?
     
  11. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    Naaah sometimes a fantasy is best left as a fantasy...lol.
     
  12. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    Why would you feel guilty about sex within marriage?
     
  13. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    Meee- don't say that!!! *tears out hair* lol
     
  14. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest

    Since Meee hasn't explained her comment, I'll explain the way that I took it. I saw it as her saying that guilty sex doesn't ONLY occur outside of a marriage. I feel guilty sometimes when I know my girl doesn't really want to have sex, but is doing it anyway, just for me.
     
  15. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    awww :(
    Yeah i guess that would happen with me too, i see! Thank you for explaining :)

    Well i lost my V-plates in Sextember at least :p

    Anxious for try number 2. We agreed to keep it few and far between. We're hanging out for our anniversary which is a few months away. Enough time to sneak behind my mothers back to get contraception and the like.
     
  16. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    Sounds like your in a "better place" mentally now since you've gotten the first session out of the way. That's good. :) You have a whole lifetime of wonderful memories to make now.
     
  17. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    Yes i feel a whole lot better...
    i told mum my friend was pregnant for the second time and her name sounded like nearly
    she accused me of "nearly" being pregnant twice (which is true) but...
    i replied with "you have to have sex to get pregnant"
    which was an 100% fact, but...i made it SEEM that i wasn't have sex for so long that she seemed to not notice my omission! I hate lying, and i didn't! :)
     
  18. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    I'd also like to ask...
    during sex i felt burning- i assume that was dryness or too long friction from the ribbed condom
    second, i felt a weird pulling pain, like he was hitting my cervix, still don't know about that one...
    and third
    in the lotus position it felt good but a LOT like i was about to pee, now I've come with G-spot, but this REALLY felt like i was going to pee...Yet kinda felt good also...It made me stop when i got that feeling for a while, then start again- repeated for quite a while.

    Is there a way that maybe he ripped my muscles or essential parts and now they are weak in those functions?
     
  19. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    Ya know....once you get past this whole thing about your mom being so over-protective, your gonna feel another huge sigh of relief. But I'm sure you know that better than me.....
     
  20. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,513
    Likes Received:
    4,416
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    First, lack of lube and intense ribs and cause too much bad friction and that equals burning. Next time if it starts to burn, put lube on him and in you.

    Second, weird pulling pain? More so when he was in you rather then pulling out of you? Yeah? Then he was hitting your cervix. When my guy bottoms out (which hurts!) you'll feel your cervix kind of be pushed back a bit and it'll shoot some pain through you until he pulls out again. It never lasts, at least for me.

    Last, the feeling of needing to pee is what a lot of girls, including myself feel when there about to have a gspot orgasm. It's normal, just let it go. If you accidentally urinate on him, just explain that it felt so good that you let loose. No harm no foul and you can do laundry and take a shower together.

    No, he didn't rip your muscles and now their weak. You have to realize, vagina's are MADE to have a penis in them. Our vagina's are BUILT to withstand a lot. Godiva, we have to give birth to a Baby. Can you imagine that? People don't lose function of their vagina's or other vaginal muscles after they give birth.

    Stop thinking the worst of it, ok? It was sex, you are OK and nothing is wrong.