Just to many things going wrong in my life. I have a lot to be thankful for but my house has been crazy. I have two disable children and I know I could be worse off but sometimes I just feel all alone. My kids are great but have some sever issues . They both have autism and one is worse off then the other. that compounded that finding out of few of his issue are permient and he will really never get better. Thins is my youngest son. Im not going to go into details but its pretty bad. I asked his doctor how long he will have this problem for and he looked at me like I was an idiot and said this was permanent. For ever and He will have to be cared for fro the rest of his life. So he cant talk or communicate at all and I cant even tell him. I keep thinking about how innocent he is and he wont even know whats going wrong if somethings going wrong. Or if hes sick which he is and he cant tell me what hurts him. I think about it and it brings tears to my eyes. I have this vision that if something happens to me or my wife he wont even know what happened and he will go through life just wondering where we are. Its just been an bad week and that's one reason I come here. To release a bit and act a little normal. also these issue effect my wife and myself. I love my wife to death but I feel like all these problems could be putting stress on our relationship. I know that when something goes wrong with either of the. we both get upset. Not becuase they are doing something we know they cant control it. when ou see your kids teeth bleeding because he had a harsh temper outburst and he was able to hit his head against the wall three times before i could reach him it just kills me inside. The worst is when he cry and its one of those crys that are saying please help me. We do get help but it really does nothing. they both go to two different doctor's and all they want to do is prescribe drugs. We do have to give them drugs becuase believe it or not if they really hurt themselves the state may rule we cant handle them and they would take them from us. I have a daughter who is fine but she also suffers. She cant have fun inside the house and she always wants to get out. The other day I just felt like putting an gun to my head. Way too much for someone to handle. To be honest I cold not do this to them becuase the would be send to a place where they would be lost and they would also die inside. Just venting and im really trying to pull it all together. Not looking for sympathy I just need to vent and get my anger out. Im not made at anyone right now just myself for being week. Sorry for rambling and Thanks for listening.