first time for the girl

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by cris19, Aug 28, 2008.

  1. cris19

    cris19 New Member

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    Hi everybody, i didn't wrote for a long time on the forum but was reading much. Now i have a problem. My ow girlfriend is a virgin. We tryed to have intercours but when i tryed to penetrate her i was forced to stop becose of the pain she feels. I love her like nothing else in the world and would love to have sex with her, she would love it too. Now i want to ask the sex gurus on the forum if there is a way to take the away the pain, a position a thenike or something. I have read that a water-based lube is ok tu use and make her relax, but i need something that realy works.

    Thanks everybody, sorry for my bad english:)
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Your English is fine. I teach English as a Second Language and I can assure you that the most important thing is to be understood, which you are. Grammar is secondary and will come gradually with practice.

    As for problem, I'm not sure if I have any useful advice. I don't think any extra lubrication will help, either. The pain is caused by the sudden stretching or tearing of the hymen membrane, although to be fair, most women's hymens tear long before they get around to losing their virginity. I guess the only thing I can advise you to do is to be gentle and patient. In my experience it only hurt the first couple of times I had sex, but the first time felt like being stabbed in there.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I'm certain that if you've been reading these forums alot, then you know the importance of 'foreplay'. Intensifying sexual arousal actually has a physiological purpose.

    When a woman is turned on, natural lubrication is excreted. Hormones, along with increased blood flow, are released that relax and soften the vaginal canal. Foreplay should NOT be rushed. It's an integral part of true love-making.

    And "foreplay" doesn't just mean fingering.... oral....and various other manipulations of her sex organ. To many women, foreplay starts in her emotions. I'm no biologist, but I suppose it releases those endorphines that elevate her happiness and cause her to lose inhibitions. Causing her to relax and feel desired and loved works to make her desperate for full sexual contact.

    Since this is a relatively new relationship, it might mean spending several sessions where all you do is kiss, caress, cuddle, massage, talk, whisper, giggle & laugh.... sounds strange to men (many of whom have the "Git 'er done! " mentality) - but if you truly love her as you say, you'll be willing to go the extra mile to make love to her soul before pushing to penetration.

    :) Rose
     
  4. cris19

    cris19 New Member

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    thanks to all.
    @ Rose we had foreplay for 2 houres with the kissing cuddle whisper massage caress(i'm more the romantic type of guy and like to see her happy and laughing), afterwards i started fingering oral etc. and at the moment of penetration(with condom) she still felt much pain and we stoped there. she is very sensible to pain
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
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    It's my understanding that a few women have a thicker hymen that doesn't tear easily -- or other problems preventing the first insertion. For them a visit to the doctor is a good idea.
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I'm a bit harder, my now wife was a virgin and I hurt her when we first had sex. Despite the preparation and everything, it hurt, but I figured it had to be done. Second time was much better and totally pain-free.

    My view on it at the time was she thought it was going to hurt first time, like many women think it is going to hurt, and consequently she was tense and nervous and that guaranteed it hurt.
     
  7. cris19

    cris19 New Member

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    aha thanks. so i can say that a 50% of the pain comes from the head or psihiks.:( now i need to figure a way to make her ferget that it will hurt the first time.

    How is it better to go on after i put my dick in front of her pussy:
    1 penetrate fast with less pain
    2 penetrate slow and gentel with a bit more pain

    if i panatrate fast is there a risk that i can hurt her inside (not only the hymen)
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    You are correct - she has very tender tissue along her vaginal walls and naturally strong muscle tissue around the opening. By all means, go slow. In my opinion, going fast will not lessen the pain - but will only cause her to always remember her first time as horrific.
     
  9. cris19

    cris19 New Member

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    thanks for da advice
    now i wait for the next time when we see each other.