Finding a new partner bums me out.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by csvo, May 22, 2005.

  1. csvo

    csvo New Member

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    Wow today was the first time I tried making contact with someone after my divorce and got kinda got the cold shoulder. Man, not an all out rejection but kinda like very indiferent conversation. Kinda bummed me out, she had the most beutifull eyes I have ever seen. :( I feel alot better since my divorce cause I had not been attracted to my ex for a couple of years (great lady just not for me). Now I have all this freedom, but with this freedom come the reality that I have to face the dating scene again :ugh Sorry for being such a little bitch.. But I guess a new reality hit me in the face today and Im not happy about having to deal with it. And as I said before the lady I was persuing had these beautiful green eyes that put me in a trance.... Sorry for the vent.
     
  2. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    What can I say. I'm sorry and hope you have better luck next time.
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear CSVO,

    At least you don't have to hear that she won't go out with you because your married.

    If you are actually single, there are some boards that match singles.

    What kind of a woman are you looking for?

    Many women under 38 are thinking of children. What are your ideas about kids?

    How are your listening skills? Ever taken a communication course?

    Kbate has nice green eyes.

    Blessings
     
  4. csvo

    csvo New Member

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    Good Listening Skills

    1. Yes I am very single
    2. I am currently looking into some of those sights that help get the peeps together.
    3. I don't have kids but would be open to maybe having one of my own or maybe helping raise one of hers.
    4. I am a good listener but right now my main problem is adjusting to the new style of life.

    One thing that does make me happy is that a couple of months prior to our divorse the ex and I started working out (mostly just to help her and be supportive) but man I really started to enjoy it and have been doing ever since. And everything is comming along nicely... I have never been Fat but since working out with the weights the little belly is gone and the rest of the me is comming along nicely.
     
  5. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    Indeed. :)


    Cvso,
    If you are single, in good shape, employed or employable, have a house decent car and don't look like Jack Nicholson you should be able to find any number of women (with nice green eyes) who might be interested in an evening or three with you.

    The on-line dating scene is weak compared to actually going out and looking.

    Clubs and bars are good places to meet people (who are the type that hang in clubs and bars).
    Church is a good place to meet people.
    Taking classes (education) is a good way to meet people.
    Community gatherings are good for meeting people.

    It takes time to readjust your lifestyle and to relearn behaviours you didn't need for x years.
     
  6. csvo

    csvo New Member

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    Thanks for the support

    Thanks helping me and you are absolutely right.. I need to now adjust and develop skills that I haven't needed to use in years.
     
  7. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear CSVO,

    When I speak of communication skills, I mean more drawing out, really counseling skills. I suggest a goal of not really dating, but finding a woman whom you enjoy listening to.

    I have the $400 set of Auditing questions in binders from Scientology. These are questions that get people to talk about their ideas and problems.

    Another objective is to find out what kind of problems that women have, that are OK with you, and which problems are going to be unworkable.

    You mention that your Ex-Wife was not right for you. Be careful that simply getting someone different from your Ex-Wife, may not be the wole answer. Ther may be particualr other traits you also need to avoid. Have you done any compatability thiking?

    I don't mean listening in hearing or being sensitive, I mean actually drawing out a woman, and getting ther to disclose her true wishes.

    You say that you are willing to think about one child. What symbols are present in your life that give the idea that children are welcome?

    My dating picture picked up when I was single, when I moved from an efficiency apartment to a small house with a swingset in the yard. Even women who were older and not intersted in children, seemed more interested in me. Do you drive a minivan? Leather seats? DVD in the back?

    Do you know how to be romantic?
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=31;t=010377#000006


    Beyond Litening and beyojnd counseling questions, you could sharpen your intuition skills with the Silva Method course, and maybe meet a woman intersted in being sensitive.
    http://www.silvamethod.com/


    There was a compatability test that I was trying to find. I just Googled Compatability Test, and came up with this. There are some perosnality types and ways you get along with others.
    http://www.lovetest.com/


    Just my perspective.

    Blessings
     
    #7 Logger, May 23, 2005
    Last edited: May 23, 2005
  8. csvo

    csvo New Member

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    Dude you are.... the Idea Percolator. I have never looked at things the way you mentioned them. Some of the stuff you said I have never thought about. Im am going to take a look at those webpages you gave me. Very excellent stuff thanks.
     
  9. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear CSVO,

    Here are some references, I mentioned I was looking for, for evaluating how you might get along with a prospective young lady with green eyes:

    Personality Types
    http://www.personalitypage.com/home.html

    The Enneagram Institute Personality Types
    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

    Thread on Marriage Builders discussing Enneagram Evaluations
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=020626;p=1

    MB Thread on Personality Tests:
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=022554


    Blessings
     
  10. csvo

    csvo New Member

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    Again thank you for taking the time to look up the information for me..
     
  11. ggroneet

    ggroneet New Member

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    As I am writing a paper on sex problems I meet a lot of people who got divorced. I want to tell you that it takes time (as you know) to adjust to new life, but in the end everything works out just fine. I am sure that you will do well and the sites given to you in previews masseges are great. In any case, you are more than welcome to come to Israel and find a nice lady... there are plenty of single women here with blue, green, black or brown eyes.... :)
     
  12. Cotton_Candy

    Cotton_Candy New Member

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    I was married for 28 years... so i know what your going through.. Its hard to get back into the dating scene..Ive been single for about 3 years now.. and i find with the online dating its usually the distance that turns out to be the problem.. seems i always fall for the ones that turn out to be a million miles away. And do long distance romances ever work? How far is TOO far.. or should distance even matter?
     
  13. astridaku

    astridaku New Member

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    well the question is would you date someone from another country? i doubt it since i tried it and well i still slept alone at night with my pillow, and phone calls everyday it is nice but it is not it at least for me