finally had sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by jess09, Oct 28, 2006.

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  1. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    Well, me and my men had sex for the first time finally yesterday. Well we tried and he didn't even get to penetrate me to be honest.

    I'll be honest, it was a disaster ! First, his penis didn't want to get into me at all ! I was really tight. And when he tried to enter the tip of his penis it hurts a lot. He said that there was like this piece of skin at the entrance that had a too tiny hole for him to enter and he said I was tight.

    To be able to penetrate me, he would have had to force it into me and I guess this isn't the best idea.

    I'm really confused. What's happening and what can I do to make it work next time ? Is it normal to have sort of a really tight vagina ?
     
  2. nibbs

    nibbs New Member

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    Ok, this is normal, so don't flip out. First time I went to have sex with my ex, who was also a virgin (years ago - before I met the women of my dreams, and my future wife) our first attempt went much the same way yours did. It was partly because she was nervous, that it was the first time, and vagina is tight - it will stretch out. Penetration the first time isn't always as smooth and easy as one would like. Do not be afraid to use lots of lube. Have him rub your pussy with lube, finger you wth lube, and have ime put some on his dick, then relax, seriously, relaxaybe lay at the edge of your bed with a pillow under your but, your legs spread and knees in the air somewhat, this will also help to get it in, and i've heard that as he sarts toenter, or try to, that you should breath in, not sure if thats true or not, but maybe, it's worth a shot. theres gonna be resistance, it's not gonna just slide in, but once the head of his dick gets in, and he goes all the way in then things should be a little easier from there. It's gonna be tight, and it might take a minute of him going very slowly in and out to ease things up a bit. remember to stay relaxed, enjoy it. Eventually things will et easier, just remember, lube is your friend. I have sex with my gf 5-6 times a day, for over a month and a half, with te minor pase in there for me to regain my "strength". Good luck!!
     
  3. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    I`m guessing that piece of skin is your hymen. I`m with nibbs, lube and keep trying, maybe a couple different positions. Things will get much easier after a while. A great way to get natural lube and to relax yourself is for him to go down on you first. Once you cum you`ll be really excited and ready.
     
  4. nibbs

    nibbs New Member

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    Ky silk -e, or the ky liquid are both amazing lubes very simular to the real stuff , in the words of the guiness beer commercial guys "Brilliant"...:brow
     
  5. misty_gurrl

    misty_gurrl New Member

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    Hi Jess.. :)

    Sounds to me .. you were waaay too tense, you have to learn to chill out and relax .. enjoy the moment!

    Did you two do enough foreplay.. to get yourself really good and wet?
    Let him finger you .. first one .. then try out two slowly, see if that helps to ease you up open
    Sometimes it can take awhile .. so don't rush yourself!

    Was your B/Fs cock slippery with precum .. most of the time it's has to be lubed.. if not .. use some K/Y gel lube .. or, let him rub it against your juices to get it slick

    Positions make a world of difference, here's a good one! .. if your on your back .. put your legs over his shoulders, and have him just put the tip in you a little at a time .. when you feel comfortable .. tell him.. to go in a bit more! Communication is the key .. you have to let him know!

    Another thing.. when you masturbate by yourself .. do you use toys? Dildos can be a very very good thing .. you can start by using the thinner types.. then as time goes by .. you can try out the more life sized ones!

    If all else fails? .. I guess you'd have to check with a Doctor?

    I hope my 2 cents worth of suggestions helps you out!

    Personally.. I think you'll do fine .. just give it some time.
     
    #5 misty_gurrl, Oct 28, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2006
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    It can take awhile and work out okay, but some women have a thicker hymen than norrmal, and just forcing it to tear might too much pain or impossible.

    I'd suggest you pay a visit to your gyn doc and ask if he/she thinks a hymenectomy is in order. These are normally minor surgeries performed in the doctor's office with a local anesthetic.

    You're under a lot of stress and not too sure about anything right now, and even if a hymenectomy isn't called for, your doctor's knowledge and advice would go a long way in easing your mind.

    Google it and you can read what all it involves, etc., etc.
     
  7. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    Well, concerning the gyn, I went a while ago and he told me I had an hymen, it's not an hymen that needs hymenectomy though. It's supposed to break by itself during sex.

    The thing is I'm scared a little bit of the pain so I think I might tense even more I don't know. But I do know that the reason it didn't work isn' just because of me tensing up it's also because my hymen's blocking my vagina entrance. And I'm afraid he'll have to break and it will cause pain.
     
  8. Joe

    Joe
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    Fear can make it difficult. An ex of mine was a virgin except for being raped/abused by her brothers decades earlier. (She was 40 when we started dating.) She wanted to have sex soooo badly, but it took us several tries (over a month's time) for me to get in all the way. Meanwhile we gave each other head and did the best we could. Then suddenly it all worked just like it was supposed to. I still remember the look on her face the first time she was able to take it all the way in. Pure delight.

    (I never did figure out why it was so difficult. My guess is her brothers never got past the hymen, and the memory of being gang raped by two of her siblings just made her involuntarily tense up whenever I'd try to enter her.)

    Anyway, just take your time and try, try again. Sooner or later, one way or another, you'll make it. There's no rush. You have your whole life to enjoy your sexual side.
     
  9. cbrmale

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    Yeah, its a combination of tension and hymen to be sure. Lots of foreplay, lots of oral by your partner on you will help you to get lubricated and ready. Use some lubricant for sex. You must relax, it is going to hurt a little, but not too much. But if you're tense, its going to be much worse.

    I did all that to my now wife, but she was still tense for her first time, so I forced it and she grimaced and then it was okay. So if all else fails, a man may need to do what a man needs to do.
     
  10. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    The 1st time I had penetration sex at 15, my gf was 17, we were both virgins. I remember pushing with all my weight (the wrong thing to do!), and I was a wrestler, way above average shape, and I just could not get it in! had a taken a different approach, say, just just in-and-outing the tip of the head inside the V of her lips we would have had a better! time! Remember, the pole-in-the-hole isn't everything! You can have a blast right there just before the Gates of Heaven! Take you time and enjoy the pre-phases too!
     
  11. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    We'll try again tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for your answers.
     
  12. AnonymousOne

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    Patience! Relax, both of you.

    LUBE LUBE LUBE!

    Also ... he should spend some time giving you oral sex ... it'll warm you up, turn you on, so on and so forth. Just relax, explore ... and most importantly ... HAVE FUN!
     
  13. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    I tried again yesterday. We did plenty of foreplay, lots and lots of them. And we tried when I was totally really relaxed. It did get it after plenty of trying but he had to force it in a little to break my hymen and god did it really felt uncomfortable. It hurt also. Not a huge pain but...

    It felt weird. We continued even though there wasn't any pleasure for me at all because we thought he would get better eventually. But really, I didn't have pleasure and it bled a little. I felt like I was only lying there you know when he was going back and forth and I kept having this uncomfortable sensation ( and some pain) like it was tight, that was weird.

    But hey ! you can't expect your first time to be really wonderfull. It can't be pleasurable most of the time. I hope it will get better !
     
  14. Dreama

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    That's how my first time ever was, Jess, don't feel bad. If I were you, just look on the bright side...The hardest part is over. I promise, that when you are able to let go to all of your inhibitions and worries, and let things happen, even if it is a bit painful at first. Do other things that both of you like, and don't ever feel like you are being left out from the experience.
     
  15. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Also, give yourself a few days between sessions. 1 girl who lost her virginity with me told me that when she washed up with soap, it stung! And things heal and repair themselves with a few days. Also, to get to rock out and really have fun normally takes some time.
     
  16. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    It hurt the first two times for me as well. In fact during the second time I was kind of worried because I thought it would only hurt the first time, but it hurt just as bad as the first time. It's not really fair is it? I mean we look forward to having sex for the first time, but for women we look forward to it knowing that it's going to hurt like hell, and probably bleed. :(
     
  17. Rook

    Rook New Member

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    Bravo!
     
  18. loveit247

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    My first few times hurt. Well, you got it done now, you have a life time of fun to look forward too!
     
  19. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    If your man (me and my men had sex for ) as you said,
    does not expect a virgin. Then I would suggest a beer bottle.
    You can bear a lot more pain when you do it yourself than
    when someone else does it
    I'm gonna get hell for this advice but hell it's only a hymen and needs
    to be broken. So break it for Gods Sake.
     
  20. jess09

    jess09 Banned

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    Heck, would you do that you ??? That will hurt like hell. It's far bigger than a penis and a penis hurt so imagine that.
     
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