Fiance is so old...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Head Jones IV, Aug 2, 2007.

  1. Head Jones IV

    Head Jones IV New Member

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    ...that she doesn't remember who made the first move when we were starting to date.

    She's getting pretty up there in years (she just turned 30) and I think she's loosing her memory. She rembmers that the first words she ever said to me was "let's take him outside and spank him." And she remembers telling me "Don't take IT out unless I'm gonna put it in" at a crowded park after getting hot and heavy, but she doesn't remember jumping over the middle console of our car to give me the first kiss. I guess it's just selective amnesia....
     
  2. Barbwire

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    That's funny as hell.

    I still remember my first words to my husband. I was sitting at a bar drinking my very own pitcher of beer when he walked in and sat down with his friends. I jumped off my stool, walked over to the table and said, "Do any of you guys wanna play darts?" All his friends shook their heads and pointed at him. I looked him in the eye and said, "Come on pussy boy, let's see whatcha got!"

    There is a story about why I was there alone, sucking down the suds, and feeling ballsy enough to approach the table, but that's for another time. ;)
     
  3. Dreama

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    That's awesome, CL.
     
  4. peta pumkin

    peta pumkin New Member

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    CL Things have obviously improved since then. Don't know about this "Head Jones IV" guy, still he may eventually mature.
    Never being the one who is backward in coming forward I'm sure your many fans would appreciate the "suds" story.
    My own real "first move" was when HE said;
    "You know that this is a pick up joint. My reply; "Why do you think I am here?". [/I[I]]"Consider yourself picked up, -- lets go, I've got what you came for!"
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Yes lets do get to the "suds" story.

    Hiker
     
  6. Barbwire

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    OK, well seeing as how you insist and all....

    Picture if you will a 30 year old, single and super fit Cowboy Lover. I hate to brag but in the small town bar I hung out in I was considered a stone cold fox. Not nessesarily because I was all that gorgeous, but I had all my teeth and no kids, and that was good enough for most guys. Anywho....I ended up meeting a guy one night, a somewhat unfortunate looking man, so I wasn't really "into" him, but he had a job and a car and that was good enough for me, so I agreed to go out on a date with him. He takes me to a restaurant, we have a meal and he brings me home. During the course of this date the only physical contact we have is when I accidently brush against him as I'm getting into his car. I'm dead serious.

    For some reason, he asks me out again. (must be my mouth full of teeth) I have no idea why, but I agree and we go bowling. Whilst at the bowling alley he runs into friends and puts his arm around me as we stand there talking to them. I pull away from him, and give him a quizzical look, not understanding this sudden move on his part. We end up bowling with his 3 guy friends for about 2 games, and all the while this guy is copping a feel every chance he gets. It's getting on my nerves and I ask him to take me home. He does.

    The next day, he calls me to ask me out and I tell him I'm busy, or whatever. I go out that night with some girls and a friend comes over and tells me that this guy I had dated is telling everyone he knows that I am the best fuck he's ever had and he......he..........he......LOVES me! I am appalled, grossed out and pissed all at same time. I set my friend straight and tell her I'm calling this guy to chew him out. She says to me, "Well, Bill's a butcher, you know that, right?" I said, "Yeah, so?" She says, "Well, when his last girlfriend broke up with him he went a little nuts and took a couple of pokes at her with a knife." I swallow hard, my head spinning.

    So, I'm thinking, I've got this crazy butcher guy telling all the world that he's in love with me and I want to ditch his ass, but I'm scared shitless. I devise a plan to break up with him in a crowded bar with plenty of witnesses, then have my brother drive me home.

    The night of the dumping comes, and my brother picks me up and takes me to the bar. I use the payphone to call the butcher and tell him I need to talk to him ASAP and where to meet me. My brother orders a pitcher of beer, and as he pays for it, his pager goes off. He looks at it and says, he has to leave for about an hour. I say, "Sure, go ahead, I'll be here." He leaves and I pour a beer, drink it, then pour another and so on and so forth, all the while getting more nervous about the butcher's arrival. Well, up until about the 4th beer, then all of a sudden I had balls of steel.

    My pitcher is low, but my bravery is at its peak when the butcher walks in. He comes right up to me and I let fly, telling him I heard what he was telling everyone and say I'm NEVER going to go out with him again. He shrugs and says "OK", then leaves the bar. The smoothness with which it went down makes me want to celebrate, so I order another pitcher for myself and my brother. (who never came back, btw)

    I was midway through this second pitcher when I get a yen to play darts. I eyeball a table full of cute guys and make my move. The rest is history.
     
    #6 Barbwire, Aug 2, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2007
  7. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I have no idea where you live but it's a wonder I was not in the bar at the time. That is the kind of rats nest I have got myself into a lot!!:lol