fetish.... any advice

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by sexual Trex, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. sexual Trex

    sexual Trex New Member

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    i think i have a fetish, well i know i have fetishes. but this one is something i would never ever ever do and it bothers the hell out of me. recently i tried my own methods to push it as far out of my mind as possible, and it worked i never think about it. but the past 2 days ive been having nightmares on the subject.

    does anyone have suggestions on how to push this crap out of my mind?
     
  2. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Yeah, I keep wondering the same thing about Sexual Forums! I figure that Ryan is part of the Dharma Initiative and has mind control software! Yep, that's probably the explanation for both of us! ;>
     
  3. Hot Wheels

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    Probably help if we knew what it was....
    Theres no need to be bashful you know.
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    okay - like Hotty said, it would help to know some details.

    We all have fetishes, some of them quite 'deviant' in nature. And some of us have acted on them - all with consenting adult participants. And some of us just keep them as fantasies. And these thoughts can surprise us, especially if we have been a bit suppressed sexually. Our minds are powerful playgrounds, at times. There is nothing wrong with these scenarios. It's normal.

    That said, if it's something illegal - something that would harm others (i.e. harming a child, etc.) I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. That is the first step toward healing.
     
  5. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Yeah, seriously speaking, I agree with what Rose said (very wise lady). Like Rose said, if, by chance, it is something illegal (like harming a child for instance) please do consult a counselor or other mental health professional. There is no shame in doing that whatsoever, they have "heard it all" and they can help you work through it. If it is something not illegal, please feel free to express it here, if you like. Some folks here will likely give you good advice and, as I have found by participating here myself, this can be a good place to "get stuff off your chest" and deal with things which have been bothering you. Most of us here have "heard it all" ourselves and you can express yourself here anonymously. Whatever you decide to do, take care. All the best to you.
     
  6. Bluesy

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    I'm dying to know what this fetish is. Rather than try to purge your mind of it, I think it would be better to talk about it. Suppression never works, and will probably just make things worse.
     
  7. sexual Trex

    sexual Trex New Member

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    i guess the fetish could called something along the lines of bdsm/play rape or something like that heres the thing though, i dont actually enjoy it, but for some reason the thought of it turns me on. i find the fact that it turns me on absolutely revolting, like getting rough is one thing, but i completely dont like this. i dont think this would qualify as illegal, its definitely against all of my morals though.

    as far as pushing it out of my mind, i seem to have done just that. i tried when ever i was having sex or thinking about it or what ever, to concentrate on something a little bit more normal to force that on myself as a fetish.

    thanks for the input though
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I'm glad you feel comfortable opening up here, "sexualTrex". We're not professionals, but sometimes it's good to just talk without feeling threatened.

    Alot of us have morals, and also have fantasies. Personally, I have a fantasy which would probably fall under the category of 'deviant'. When I first started experiencing those thoughts - like during masturbation, etc., I was ashamed and tried to suppress it. I would never have told my husband - or anyone for that matter. Obviously, I don't really want my fantasy to come true! But, I wouldn't mind playing it out with someone I trust (i.e., my husband). That doesn't make me weird - I am a normal, upstanding member of my community.

    You are young, and I still feel you are struggling with the fact that you have fantasies - deviant in nature. I understand you have strong morals, and therein lies the mental battle.

    Now, if you are feeling (and only YOU know what's really in your head) that you actually could act on your fantasy - but with 'non-consenting participants', then you need more professional help than a forum such as this can offer. I hope this helps.
     
    #8 Rose, Oct 11, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2006
  9. AnonymousOne

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    Lots and lots of Heavy Metal.
     
  10. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Or watching Teletubbies! ;>
     
  11. John Keel

    John Keel New Member

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    You need to start by understanding the following:

    What you want and what you feel DOES NOT make you a bad person. ONLY your actions can make you a bad person.


    Look - going out and raping a woman would make you a bad person, but there's a lot that happens between wanting to rape a woman and forcibly raping, coercing or drugging her, or anything like that, okay? Don't go out of your way to do something you know will make someone feel bad and you're halfway there.

    Honestly, do you really think fulfilling the fantasy would even be enjoyable? You've already said that it goes completely against who you are and that you don't want to do it. That's good. Rapists aren't typically apologetic about what they are. They make excuses or they don't care. They're bad people. You don't want to hurt anyone. I don't think you're a bad person.

    The bottom line is this: This is hurting you. You need to channel this into something productive so that it isn't eating away at you, and you could do worse than talking to someone who won't judge you. A therapist might not be a bad idea.

    Good luck.
     
    #11 John Keel, Oct 11, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2006
  12. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    Fetishes i think are the new sex. The replacement of intercourse! Fetishes can be acted upon within moral standing, and when it isn't harming inocence such as a child. But most of mine are mental images that converge on my body where I can feel anything I want to feel. such as having a vagina and seeing what kind of feelings and responses i recieve from them. Most of mine are fetishes. They highten my sensual desires and emotions. They arouse me during and before sex with myself or another person.
     
  13. pirouette

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    Might I suggest finding a woman who has the same fantasy? :D

    Role playing can be a great way to have sex. Obviously you need to address safety, consensuality, a safe word, and boundaries first. You may find that exerscising a little dominance/submission in the bedroom can fulfill that aspect of your sexuality safely. Maybe "those" thoughts wouldn't plague you as much having experienced a similar situation.
    And I should mention that it is unlikely you will meet Mrs. Right and be fufilling a safe version of your fantasy tomorrow. It takes time to develope a trusting relationship with anyone. Perhaps you could check out your local bdsm/kink society. There are bound to be female subs (or switches) there.
     
  14. Bluesy

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    Hear, hear. It took me a very long time to figure that out. And, even then, it depends on your personal ethics. I subscribe to a specific interpretation of ethical conduct that says value judgements like "good", "bad", "right", "wrong" are delusional. You only need to weigh potential outcomes and decide whether or not you feel those outcomes will contribute to the quality of your and others' lives, or detract from the quality of your and others' lives. Raping a person would lead to all sorts of emotional, physical, and legal consequences you wouldn't want to deal with or inflict on another human being, but the important thing is that you don't actually want to do it. It's the fantasy that gets you off, and there is no such thing as a fantasy you shouldn't have. Everyone has a "darker nature", for lack of a better phrase, and trying to repress it only causes it to leak out in distressing and inconvenient ways. It's far better, and simpler, to accept it as another part of you, and let it exist peacefully in your psyche; let it manifest itself as a dream or a fantasy--they can't hurt anyone and aren't going to hurt you, either.

    I think you would be surprised at how many people also have such fantasies. This is what BDSM is all about! You probably could find a woman with the same fantasy who would enjoy enacting it with you (with all the precautions Pirouette mentioned). There's no reason why you can't work with it and accept it so long as you're willing to accept that you are human. How easy it is to forget that underneath the aspirations to lead a "good" life and have a "good" reputation, we're animals biologically programmed with violent tendencies that can't be wished away. So be a good person and an animal, too. Who says you can't be both?
     
  15. 22JessicaWu

    22JessicaWu New Member

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    Violence is out for me at least, unless of course its playful
     
  16. sexual Trex

    sexual Trex New Member

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    aside from hair pulling, and biting (both of which i only like if its gentle) i could never hurt a woman... but for some reason the thought of a woman in pain makes me just completely shoot my load. especially when a girl isnt used to me (or ive just been doing her too hard and too long) and i hurt her... i friggin love that. heh, now that i think about it im not sure if me hurting them turns me on, or the fact that im hurting them just boosts my ego lol
     
  17. igor

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    To be more accurate, what you described is not a fetish, but a fantasy. Look up the definition of fetish. It says it is something you absolutely have to have/do to be sexually satisfied. I think that everyone has fantasies at some time. Most of them we never experience.