Female neighbour wants my wife...at what point is it cheating...if?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Michaelnite, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Michaelnite

    Michaelnite New Member

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    I am new here, so forgive me if i am in the wrong section, my situation is that my wife and i are very open minded, she was in a relationship before that was very open, they had other people involved....we met and we have once had another person involved...her friend, which was fun for me after a night of drinking....we had some new neighbors move in across the street just over a year ago, and last summer we became rather chummy, sitting in the yards having a few drinks, one night, the female asked my wife to go over to their house to grab something, they were gone quite awhile, it turned out that in the drunkenness, the neighbor, started to kiss my wife and told her that she was in to her and ended up give her oral sex at their house....her husband and i went over and apparently interrupted the session lol....my wife told me when we got home what happened, i was ok with it to a point, we had discussed it before, i am ok with that happening with a woman as long as i know or am a part of it...the rest of the summer was different, we try to figure out if her husband know, but she has hit on my wife a few times, kissing etc...we didnt see much of them over the winter, however with the nice weather, we have had a few fires in the yard, this past weekend, we all consumed some alcohol, the couple was over, he wasnt feeling well, so he called it an early night, so that left the three of us, i went into check on the kids and decided to look out our kitchen window which over looks the back yard and i found my wife and the neighbor kissing, making out....i was drunk, so i was like do i confront this or what, i choose to go the back door and peek again then went out and said whats up, they both kinda acted like i was nuts, then i just said i saw, the neighbor was defensive and saying that she is into my wife and is only into doing something with her, i told her i was cool with that, but i dont want it to be a secret from me anyways, and i dont want games, i was honest and said that id love to watch, i wouldnt touch her, i told her that my wife told me about it, so she knows that i know, she said she couldnt do it with me watching, she bit her lip and thought for a moment and said that if her husband wasnt around she would, he had been calling for her to come home a few times, i tried to get her to come in and play with my wife...but she had to go, before she left she kissed my wife and put her hands in her pants to touch her below...My wife and i are cool, she is cool with a girl playing with her and has told me that she would tell me whats going on or would want me around...we both agreed if it had been her kissing a man in the back yard or me kissing a woman in the back yard and she saw, we would have flipped lol My question is to people, if both partners agree that this girl-girl thing can happen, and once she keeps me in the loop, is this cheating? i know its a silly question...but i just want some thoughts from people who may have been in situations like this
     
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  2. jdm320

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    I am sure you will get mixed answers, but in my opinion anytime a married person has sex with someone other than their spouse it is cheating, whether it is with permission or not, but that is just my opinion.
     
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  3. Mittimer

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    The question isn't whether or not we think it's cheating, the question is do you?
     
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  4. ply

    ply
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    Sounds like good clean fun to me.
     
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  5. Michaelnite

    Michaelnite New Member

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    its funny, if she went out and did it without me knowing , i look at it as cheating, at the same time, she told me right away, the first time last summer, though we had talked about stuff like that and i did say i would be ok with it if the girl played in front of me or i knew, so she told me and yes i was a little disturbed, but only because it happened without me knowing....what it comes down to is not keeping secrets, neither of us are cool with the other playing with the opposite sex..and i have no interest in playing with a man for her lol

    but still interested in getting people's thoughts on the issue./subject
     
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  6. Wizard1002

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    I agree with this......

    And how do you feel about it??
     
  7. HotForHoney

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    Is your wife cheating on you? No
    Neighbor cheating on husband? Yes, unless he knows and is ok with it.
     
  8. Michaelnite

    Michaelnite New Member

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    well i am ok , once i know or i am part of it....i am all about making my girl happy, within reason lol I am unsure that her husband knows about them, thats another story, perhaps my questions are about not wanting to rock the boat and cause issues there
     
  9. billytk1977

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    Me and my wife dont want any one playing with the other except eachother. Thats our decision. If you and your gal have a diffrent agreement Then you follow the said agreement within the boundaries that you both set together and it should be ok. She hid nothing from you in the beginning and is hiding nothing Now it sounds like.

    So far as your neighbors, i dont know them so i can not say, it is possible they have an understanding as well, they may not however. You have to decide as to wether it is your place to announce to him what is happening.

    If he knows and gets off on this scenario then you could look the fool for spouting it to him, if he does not know you could be ending it for them. You have to ask where your responsibilities lie and how you will deal with it. Jmo, ask the neighbors gal and see what she says.
     
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  10. Michaelnite

    Michaelnite New Member

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  11. Michaelnite

    Michaelnite New Member

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    I agree, my wife is ok it would likely just be a fun thing now and then when we are out drinking in the back yard...the neighbour had mentioned that they had played with a friend and it ended the relationship, but it appeared to be more of a jealous issue with them (her and her husband)...for us, we know that if my wife lets a girl play that its just for that moment and we have our limits, she says i would be able to do whatever, but too me its about her, i will play with my wife during the fun or just watch...i am am very happy with her as she is with me and we are comfortable to allow someone of the same sex to play....it is a tough thing, cuz its true if he doesnt know, he would be pissed, just as i would be if i found out he and my wife and his wife were playing behind my back....i think he knows she is fairly open, he makes rude remarks around her in front of people....and was calling her like crazy the other night on the phone....
     
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  12. lbushwalker

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    I think that this is hot!
    Problems may arise with her husband and being neighbours could easily become a major issue if/when things go pear shaped.
    But seeing it from your perspective I am envious :)
     
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  13. Alwayslearningsex

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    If it was done in secret without the other one knowing and approving, it was cheating.
    If within the couple you are open and allow, know about it and fine with it, I call it extra fun.
     
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  14. Wizard1002

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    Hasn't his wife said whether her hubbie knows what's going on?
     
  15. 10_3XL

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    If everyone involved (you, your wife, the neighbor, the neighbor's husband) is aware of the situation and is in approval, then I would not deem it cheating.

    If someone is excluded in their awareness, then I would say that is cheating.
     
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  16. Candela

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    How do you know if more isn't going on when your not around ,This lady may have already done your wife several times and now your wife is keeping it secret because you want to watch,Also wondering if this ladies man has done your wife on the sneak also..Is it cheating,Id say yes to all of it ..JMO
     
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  17. 12barblues

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    Well I just typed out several paragraphs explaining how MY relationship works.... But then erased it because "how my relationship works" doesn't mean a damn thing. This is about YOUR relationship. And as Mitt said, all that matters is how the two of you feel. The only thing that I would be cautious of, is bringing in a married playmate that IS cheating on her husband. I would stay miles away from that for sure.
     
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  18. 12barblues

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    It's all about honesty an trust. People that can live this lifestyle , can do so because they have an "open" relationship . Open in ALL senses of the word. Primarily open in honesty and trust. If a couple doesn't trust each other 100%, then they'll last about 10 seconds in this lifestyle. And it sounds like the OP has this trust in his relationship.
     
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  19. ply

    ply
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    Or just bend her over and fuck the shit out of her