Female arousal

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by beefjerky, May 25, 2011.

  1. beefjerky

    beefjerky New Member

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    I need some help with female arousal, I can not get aroused with out foreplay :mad. BUT my partner dosent like to engage in foreplay, I can't use lube. . . because he dosent like lube because he doesn't know whats in it. . . . I really tried everything. . . self pleasure before intercourse isnt enough. I watch porn but that only works when I havnt had it in a while. I currently take dong quai and Libido max. . . I went to urgent care (they said I just need more foreplay) The OBGYN. .. and my fam doctor. . . . and a psychologist he told my to see a doctor. IDK. . . . What to do, I sexyly tell my partner like kiss me here babay U know u wanna do this to my tots . .. he says get the eff off of me. He even said Im supposed to be ready. .. . . Um how. . . I get you ready. . I perform orag I give you HJs What about me. . . . . How am I supposed to do it dry. . ..
     
  2. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Sounds like this guy doesn't do it for you. This stuff isn't automatic... maybe at first in a relationship when it's based on what you think a guy is like before you know what he's actually like, but as time goes on the reality overrides the fantasy and if it's not a good reallity, then it will be reflected by you not being arroused.

    The most important body part for sex is the brain. He needs to be a turn-on to you, and sounds like he isn't.

    Now maybe there is something you like about him that could be a turn-on, with women it isn't always sexual the things that are a turn on. Maybe if he turns you on when he's mowing the lawn or doing some sort of manly thing it could give an alternative to foreplay, but I just say that because I am giving generallities. I'd generally tend to guess that if he's not turning you on because he lacks foreplay, other areas of the relationship might also be lacking.
     
  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    How long you been with him, how old is he?
    It's a two way street, he has to do his part too.
    Oh man I would have fun working you up, I love foreplay a lot ..... what's the matter with the guy? selfish or inexperienced?
     
  4. HardRocker

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    It's on the label, ask him if he can read.

    You can't do it dry. He sounds like an extremely selfish boy, even mean if he's got any self awareness. Is he that selfish and un-caring about you in other ways? I wouldn't normally recommend withholding sex, but it seems in your best interest since he's causing you physical discomfort
     
  5. sinner

    sinner New Member

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    i went to the doctor and said "Doc, it hurts when I do this." He said "Don't do that" and charged me 45 bucks. If something hurts during sex, don't do it. It is supposed to feel good. There is another name for command performances like your BF wants. If you are not aroused, if you don't feel desire for him, it is rape. Teach him the pleasure of foreplay. Tell him to trust you and my bet is that with foreplay he'll have an orgasm like he's never had before.
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Assuming he's teachable.
     
  7. sinner

    sinner New Member

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    if he isn't then she should drop him. people who can't or won't learn new things suck.
     
  8. backcheck64

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    I've known very few women that don't need foreplay of some sort. Ranging from heavy petting to loading the dishwasher, throwing her on the bed and eating her out to playful gropeing in the kitchen. Foreplay is half the fun. What you've got there is a douchebag. I'd find a real man if I were you.
     
  9. nurseharley

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    oh boy this is sort of hard to read.

    this guy sounds like he doesn't like much of anything.

    doesnt know whats in lube? it's pretty simple nowadays with water based lubes. doesn't like foreplay? tell him if he wants to have sex with you, then he should start liking it.

    sex is a two way street. he should be concerned about your needs and what gets you off too. have a talk with him.
     
  10. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Flippin heck guys, a lot of those replies stung a little..........

    Beefjerky, girl to girl, I could have written your post 20 years ago, only it would have been, sex doesn't do anything for me, but I know he wants it and I know he wants BJ's so thats what we do.....and did for the next 20 years.

    Love, that is your future, if you don't address this with him, sensibly, as a major issue, then nothing will change. You married this man, he, like my hubby, is probably a good man with many wonderful traits. I would like to hope that one of those is to want to look after the woman he loves, but he tells you to "get eff off of me" sweet, this is no way to be spoken to.....by anyone, let alone a man who has promised to care for you for the rest of his living days.

    I know you married him, probably with good reason and good intentions, but for your own sanity, sit yourself down and write a two column list, the good and the bad of your marriage, see it in black and white, do it truthfully, and honestly ask yourself is this is the right man for you to spend eternity with.

    If he is, then good on you for looking at it objectively and coming to that decision. You then need to address the issue at hand. It starts with a conversation in a non-sexual place and time (if there is such a thing.....) but you know what I mean, a good old fashioned one to one. Prepare yourself in advance with questions that demand an answer, don't let him fall into 'yes' and 'no' explain to him how sex makes you feel, he hurts you, tell him straight and clearly what your needs are. It won't get better overnight and it will mean you taking charge to a certain extent until an acceptable routine is established.

    I wish you so much luck with this my love xx
     
    #10 Moon, May 25, 2011
    Last edited: May 25, 2011
  11. MitchieG

    MitchieG New Member

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    I think it's awful that you immediately blamed yourself for this, rather than your man. Maybe I just don't see it his way because I need a lot of affection during sex, but it sounds selfish and misguided to me. I don't mean to pass judgement.
     
  12. Meee

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    He doesn't sound clueless, he sounds hostile. There's more to this story. I'm guessing you have much bigger problems in this relationship than just bad sex.

    Also, is he your husband or your partner? And your profile seems to be saying you have children. Tell us something more about your life.
     
  13. lbushwalker

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    Hi Beefjerky,
    Moon's advice has great merit but Meee is probably on the money with her suggested sangine assessement.
    On reading your post I immediatly saw red and hate the guy especially with the verbal rejection incident but well know that every story has at least two sides.
    Frankly his demonstrated hostility and selfish sex might well be a defensive mechanism for poor libido but that could be wrong.
    Come back and tell us more if you feel comfortable doing so.
     
  14. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    um, if you know what you need to get going and he doesn't want any part of it yet you will get him going... then you two are not good together. if he won't try, then why should you waste your time.
     
  15. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    And her profile says she's 20 and that her children are independent. Something doesn't add up.
     
  16. nurseharley

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    ahaha after reading the profile i no longer take this seriously

    doggie wuff wuff
     
  17. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    So is this a wind up?

    Sigh............

    It was good for me to read the other replies, to see how others truly view my sex life, my man.

    Thanks Beefjerky - did wonder about the user name.......
     
  18. Godiva

    Godiva Member

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    Agreed with Meee, i was wondering why anyone wasn't worried for her until her post!

    Seriously, leave this relationship, he isn't loving at all, there are much kinder and more accommodating out there!
     
  19. lbushwalker

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    A) Beef = cattle = bull
    B) Jerky = tough, dry & stringy
    A + B = Bullshit & pull the other one.
    Yeah, I also got caught feeling sympathetic towards this provocative thread.