Feeling for frnds!? Why now!?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by rah88, Jun 3, 2014.

  1. rah88

    rah88 Member

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    So yea i been divorced for almost 2years! Havent talk to women in the since of dating or tryin to sleep with them! But i have this friend thats been there thgh the whole crazy marriage and after all was said done! I get naked wen im drunk but never infront of her. So not remembering she stayed at my house till the mornin bc we were out drinkin that night, i wake up walking around naked as normal (just so happen to be a mornin wood type mornin). So she's there in the bathroom, i walk in butt ass naked with wood... we look at eachother she looks down for like second says "mornin" then continue to look down. .. i walk away put clothes on... we n never really talked about it but for months now she has always made remarks about it like "good to finally match the penis to the face" or "bet not sleep in bed with u" we laugh about it... but have this feeling she been hintin me and tryin to get me to drink more lately... its like i want sleep with her but we been frnds for so long... i dont knw if i wanna just have sex with her or if have feelings for her!? Help! wht to do!?
     
  2. JonJo

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    She is hinting and wants you to sleep with her; she is attracted to you as more than a friend.
    Her trying to get you to drink more is her way of trying to get you into a state where you will be 'relaxed' enough to overcome your inhibitions.
    If you haven't had sex for two years to want to have sex is natural & the attraction of an 'available friend' is a temptation BUT if you do have sex with her you risk two things. 1) Loosing a friend or 2) Thinking you have deeper feelings than just friendship.
    The second is a very easy 'trap' to fall into after such a long time of no sexual fulfillment or sexual emotional involvement.

    There is a third alternative and that is that she might want to just be, will be happy to be, a 'friend with benefits', or a 'fuck buddy' - this maybe needs to be cleared up with her by openly asking her what it is she wants. You should know though that it is very rare for such relationships to continue on just that basis for very long without one or the other wanting a deeper commitment.

    The decision is one that only you can make but it should be made when cold stone sober, not in a drunken haze - because if you take that course you will have to face the consequences of your actions when you sober up.
     
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  3. HotForHoney

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    Casually mention you are thinking of starting to date. See if she is excited or if sheis genuinely happy for you.

    Or get drunk, have her stay over and see what happens.
     
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  4. lbushwalker

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    Get drunk with her as HFH says but first turn on your autocorrect/spelling checker ;)
     
  5. boobjob

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    As with almost every question on SF the answer is "communication". Start with HFH's suggestion and keep on communicating.
     
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  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    However, about sex when drunk, wouldn't it be better when not so drunk, just a little bit of drinking.
    That would show more care to the partner, you remember better, you are not a .... "drunk fuk" or drunk fucker.
    Just a thought, or maybe I'm too straight about it.
     
  7. JonJo

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    Did you even bother to read the last sentence, I obviously said not to be drunk but to be stone cold sober.
     
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  8. Alwayslearningsex

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    I admit I was in a bit of a hurry and skipped some sentences.
    You called me out good and thank you.
     
  9. Meee

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    My opinion might be a little different from some of the other replies. I think she thinks you basically exposed yourself to her and she's been trying to deal with that incident ever since. I appreciate that you've been putting a positive interpretation on her reaction, but it's possible that she thought what you did was rude rather than enticing. I'm sorry to say that, but I think you should consider it as a possibility. I wonder if you should apologize, but I'd be interested in other people's opinions on that.
     
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  10. boobjob

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    Agree with Meee. Maybe communication starts off with "You know, I never apologized for flashing you that morning. I just completely forgot you were in the house. I hope you weren't offended." See what she says and maybe you can work into the conversation "the truth is, I have feelings for you"
     
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  11. backcheck64

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    Being me, I'd just ask her if she wanted to fuck. I've found the direct approach works quite well. If I would have walked out naked, I'd have asked her, see anything you'd like to suck?
     
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  12. sandwich

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    Maybe it would be a good idea to drink less. Then you would not have to guess about these things. Were you drinking when you wrote that post?....just wondering. I am not against drinking. It's just that I can't imagine sex being memorable with too much alcohol in your system if you do ever get around to doing it with her.
     
    #12 sandwich, Jun 9, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2014
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