Feeling Cheap

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Mittimer, Jan 31, 2015.

  1. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,447
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    So the title may be a bit misleading but it's the best I can come up with.

    Yesterday a friend (whom I am sexual with) and I were messaging back and forth and a playful comment came my way that just left me feeling cheap and trashy. Now, I'm not angry at my friend because I know the comment wasn't meant to make me feel this way.

    However, I pointed out how it made me feel and we've all but avoided each other after the fact. I guess I'm just a bit lost on the whole matter.

    My question(s) to everyone is what would you do in my situation? How would you handle it?

    I know this doesn't seem like much of a discussion but I've never been left to feel this way and I'd like to know others experiences on it too.
     
    lucky5338 likes this.
  2. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,945
    Likes Received:
    17,217
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    You could embrace it and dress trashy/cheap and invite her over.

    Sometimes even though the apologies are said, it still takes time to feel better.

    Is it only sexual chat or friendly chat too? Maybe you can just have a friendly chat until you feel better.
     
    Mittimer likes this.
  3. MissScarlett

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    2,986
    Likes Received:
    4,873
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    I think given you've said how you feel & that you're not angry you should try chatting as normal. It might take you to make that first move as hard as that may be, as your friend now knows you were hurt & may not be totally sure how to respond or what you want. You can't undo what was said. This either becomes a problem between you or you try & carry on as though it didn't happen.
     
    lucky5338 and Mittimer like this.
  4. Sweetlysad

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Messages:
    18,364
    Likes Received:
    43,888
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Sounds like you are both unsure how to proceed.
    Try messaging as normal, and getting back to how it was before.
    You both need to get over the awkwardness.
    Someone just need to make the first move and it will all be forgotten about really fast.
     
    lucky5338 and Mittimer like this.
  5. IMNaughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    1,841
    Likes Received:
    2,428
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nashville, TN, USA
    @Mittimer, since you told them how you felt at the time it happened, you might want to focus on talking to them and saying something like "Hey, I took that personally, but I'm over it now and let's continue what we were up to."

    OR ...

    Get sexual with me, which is a way better idea.
     
    naughty4u, Mittimer and 12barblues like this.
  6. SirFoggy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    196
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bosnia and Herzegovina
    It's not so much about the words but what we make (or don't ) of them. Problem, IMO, is not about your friend saying something but rather about your perception of what have been said. Proverbial ball is in your court ... just my 2 cents ... ;)
     
    naughty4u, Mittimer and IMNaughty like this.
  7. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    This is such a difficult question and yet so common. There are so many times when I have made some
    silly remark or other in the hope of appearing witty and regretted it instantly. I confess I lost a perfecrly good relationship as a result of doing this and it took months to try to restore things because the other party closed off communication.
    As I see it both of you have said your piece and recognise what has happened.
    My own approach to this would be to face it head on. Have an honest discussion about it with the other party if you can and try and return the relationship to normal.
    I am sure that no-one here would consider you as either cheap or trashy . For what it is worth my own opion is quite the reverse. I hope it gets cleared up soon.
     
    Amature likes this.
  8. johnnyangel694u

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    6,152
    Likes Received:
    2,149
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Been there. Done that. I never know what to say after that. I always feel bad that I said something to offend someone. I stay away to avoid the awkwardness because I am sure I would say something even worse thinking that I was being funny. You can't show emotion with the written word.
     
    lucky5338 likes this.
  9. Candela

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    4,868
    Likes Received:
    7,451
    Gender:
    Female
    Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me...Consider the source as he/she is the one who is cheap saying what was said!! xo
     
    lucky5338 likes this.
  10. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,447
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    I understand the whole sticks and stones thing. However, there is nothing cheap or trashy about them. If you keep in mind what I wrote in my original post it specifically states that it was a somewhat playful comment. It came out wrong and has left us in an awkward situation.
     
    lucky5338 and Candela like this.
  11. Candela

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    4,868
    Likes Received:
    7,451
    Gender:
    Female
    Ok..So this person knows how you feel,I would think that person should be the one feeling bad because they know they hurt you even know the comment was made in fun.If he/she is your friend,No words can ruin a friendship,Talk like nothing happened and when you get the right moment,Let your feelings about be known..Friends understand! xo
     
  12. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    I am so sorry to see someone I lke very much being hurt like this. I do hope you can resolve your differences soon
     
  13. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,546
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I think everyone else has already said what can/needs to be said...

    So I'm just chiming in because I can...

    And to tell you that if you're ever made to feel "cheap/trashy" then you can always feel better knowing that I am under you...

    That came out wrong... sounded dirty... meant to say that I'm beneath you...

    Nope. Still sounds like I'm making innuendos... Ah, fuck it, you get the point!
     
    Mittimer likes this.
  14. CreamyJustice

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    291
    Likes Received:
    379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US for now
    So is it more a matter of "why did this friend say that to me?" Or "why am I feeling a way about this particular comment?" Are you more upset that you couldn't brush it off?

    I deal with conflict head on....so I say just talk about it, its the only way to get it out of the way. Get that sour taste out if your mouth.
     
    lucky5338 likes this.
  15. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    Well mitt, I'm that person... Way to often... From my perspective, I always think ..that my friends know my heart. That they know how I REALLY feel, or what I'm really thinking... And that they should "know" that I'm only kidding. And would NEVER want to hurt them. Your friend may be hurting a bit himself. And be upset and feeling like you should know him well enough to know he would never want to hurt you... I just think the only thing you can do is have a talk. And hope that it works out..
    Being "that guy " myself so often , I hope you two work it out

    Hope that made sense
     
    Mittimer and lucky5338 like this.
  16. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,447
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    We've talked, it's fine, thank you all for your replies.
     
  17. rockypeak

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    383
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Great Northeast
    welcome to the guys world Mitt. We say stupid shit in jest trying to be funny, or being playful, not really meaning anything hurtful but it sometimes (most times in my case!) comes out that way. Sometimes we have to pay dearly for our sins!. I say don't feel cheap and trashy, substitute it with adventurous and classy.
     
    Mittimer and djanalyst like this.
  18. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    Good to hear.
     
  19. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    so pleased to hear:)
     
  20. IMNaughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    1,841
    Likes Received:
    2,428
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nashville, TN, USA
    I'm very happy it worked out hun, if you ever need an ear, you know where to find me.