Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by BritneyButt, May 9, 2014.
Have any of you actually fell in love I'm the middle or shortly after great sex?
Nah. I think that's partially because I don't find that Love and Sex are necessarily linked. Being in love definitely helps the sex to be better but isn't a necessary part of the process.
I've thought I have but most/many times the feelings faded as the 'after-glow' faded and as 'reality' took over.
Those minutes can be a 'dangerous time' because things said during them are not easily taken back.
Intense lust comes pretty close to love
No it doesn't. Love is different from lust. You wouldn't do anything for someone you lust after but would someone you love.
To answer the question no I haven't.
I'm sure it's happened before. I mean who's to say when a person falls in love?
Love is a very complex emotion. Love is about giving so if you "fall in love during or after sex" you are falling in love for the wrong reasons, and it is not true love.
Really, says who? Is there a blueprint to falling in love?
I suppose that you are right if you accept the dictionary definition of love: "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" but I do not accept that definition of love.
I believe in a profoundly deeper meaning of love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
If one "falls in love" in the throes of orgasmic bliss than that love is bound to be self seeking. I submit that if one falls in love during sex and it is not self seeking, it is because they have given of themselves during the act and therefore, they were in love before the sex took place.
Love is an emotion, IMHO, and with emotions no one can tell someone else who they must feel or when they must feel it. I for one has never fallen in love in the middle of sex, but I can only speak for myself.
You write very well, BTW.
LOL. Thanks but it isn't mine. Sorry I should have given credit to St. Paul.
I agree that you can't tell someone what or when to feel an emotion, but most of us are not totally in tune with our emotions. this is especially true when it comes to sex. If someone thinks that they fell "in love" during sex then it is either that (as agfunk says) it is really lust, or that they were already in Love and didn't recognize it.
Love is just a misunderstanding between two fools
I think that Britney has posted a great topic....
As for the greatest sex I had, I was already I love with the person........
I personally don't believe in very all or nothing views, everything that is, is made up of paradox, there is always a yin to a yang and I prefer seeing the primordial balance, sort of like everything at once.
So there can't possibly be just one kind of love in this world, therefore I do not doubt people can experience love during sex. And I personally believe that any kind of love is never wrong.
Can you truly say you love all people equally? What is so wrong with love that has conditions in a world where people are naturally unable to be unconditionally loving? Is the love for a family member the same as a love you would feel towards a romantic partner? What about the love you feel towards a pet, or a friend, or simply the love you feel when you experience bliss or experience sympathy or compassion to a complete stranger?
Love goes two ways - it is something you give, but also something that you recieve, thus "self seeking" doesn't really apply there.
Sex is naturally a very strong and intimate bonding experience, it emotionally and spiritually connects people, therefore it is actually abnormal and unhealthy for people not to feel connected and to fall in love during sex. You know... that's why people go into casual sex understanding the risks...
It's funny that it's always the people who have had a lot of sex in their lives that say, "casual sex isn't that great, but making love is amazing". I grew up hearing that from all my whore uncles and what not, and I know what they mean now. Casual sex is just boring in comparison to fucking the one I love.
Casual sex never works out well, someone always gets attatched and hurt. And I think if I'm just using sex to fullfil physical needs it's going to be a sad, sad lonely life. My fucking vagina cannot fill what is in my heart.
Well, I'm a sex addict and my life was so empty. I just had lots and lots of sex to fill a void, trying to be temporarily happy, living a fake, artifiical life. I damn well got high off of it and the sex magic, it's very powerful to bond with another soul, but never ONCE did I have a sexual experience where the person did not fall in love with me afterwards, and even when I abused someone they would become attatched to me. It's scary, but people become so vulnerable.
Oh, and I'm not going to deny the fact that I was a fucking psychopath, because I was diagnosd with that you know. My lack of empathy towards people was not normal. LOL
That's why I really don't think it's normal for other people to be having casual sex without feeling any emotions of any kind.
Anger is an emotion, joy is an emotion, emotions change, often quickly. Love transends all of that. Love tends to last, at least for a while, more than a few hours. Sex is different from love. What you're describing is lust... which is an emotion. It's like a killer roller coaster, the first few times takes your breath away, after the 12th time, you're falling asleep. Coaster hasn't changed, you're just used to it and the thrill is gone. If your standard of love was true, I'd been in love with about 20 of the 47 women I've been with... how many times have I actually been in love? Once, and married her... 26 yrs ago. I dated one woman that was mind blowing in bed, but a total bitch.... how can you love a total bitch. Fucked her and was on my way.... well fucked her half a dozen times and was on my way. Is great sex needed for love? in my opinion, yes, but it takes a lot more than just that. It takes friendship, common interests and goals, similar sense of humor, and both people being in the right mental state. It takes really knowing a person over time to achieve true love, that is if you want the relationship to last more than a few weeks.
There are different kinds of love...unconditional love, attraction love, friendship love, etc. I think unconditional love is the type that is real true love in that you do what is best for the other person regardless of how easy or difficult it is. It requires the setting aside of the self. Attraction love is entangled with lust and getting warm fuzzies from the other person. It can come and go. I think that some people who fall out of love easily and quit a relationship never really gave of themselves in a lasting way. It's all about them, and if they are not feeling it all the time well then they're outta there. They were probably in it for the attraction/romantic sort of love which is very feelings oriented. What Backcheck said about love transcending emotions is spot on. I think the fuzzies can fluctuate, and it's realistic to expect them too. But love makes you hold on and love your partner, and when you do this just the act of seeking the best for the other person gives you a feeling of being in love.
Love doesnt exist.