I am not sure why I am writing this or why I have titled it so. Perhaps I am hoping it will be cathartic. Without the worldwide web I wouldn't have a business so writing on forums like these is not my only reason for being online. Like most on here, I enjoy the banter with the opposite sex and I have friendships going into the fourth year with women I have met firstly online, then in the flesh, not as lovers but just as friends. Three years ago a girl 20 years younger than me joined a forum I was on. We traded posts after a few months and, to cut a long story short, after first keeping it to strictly online, we met up. Being so much older than her I expected her to run in the opposite direction. The opposite happened and we started a long very destructive relationship. We are both married, me with grown up kids, her with 2 under 10 and she was also three months pregnant. I would imagine everyones first thought is "mean, conniving, bastards" but it happened and we planned to move in together. At the last minute she got cold feet and called it off. The baby was 6 months old by then. She had confessed to her husband who fell apart and begged her to stay with him. She was also a JW so it caused no end of spiritual problems for her. None of my friends knew or indeed know anything about this but all commented on how I changed. It's almost a year since we last met and our last call ended with her saying, "don't give up on me, I will love you forever". I hope you haven't filled the sick buckets now. Despite the time passing and my wife's forgiveness, I cannot get her out of my head. I don't think I ever will. It doesn't help that she was absolutely stunning physically, a fact that puzzled me in what she saw in me. The web can bring you great joy but it can also fuck you up for life.