Experience with mixed results

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Alwayslearningsex, Jun 4, 2014.

  1. Alwayslearningsex

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    I met a younger lady for sex recently, nice company, both got what we wanted, sort of.
    So anyway, things start with the foreplay followed by sex. She didn't orgasm and I mentioned it that
    I love looking after a woman's pleasure and she just nods then later admits she has NEVER orgasmed in her life, at 25. I mention I can give my best to change that for her but she says she's too shy about it.
    Second round, we have some penetration but doesn't finish me this way.
    She goes for oral until I mention I prefer HJ to BJ, then she happily starts doing it.
    To make it short, the HJ was GREAT, she was happy to try it exactly the way I wanted it.
    Once done she turns down my mention of enjoying her body, and that we just to enjoy things without pressure. Too shy about getting wet, "messy". That's what sex is about.It could be because it was our first time together and too soon to relax, or just her mindset about it.
    So, why? should I ask. Women cheating themselves, sometimes for many years.
    In the end it comes to be more patient, but if someone has any input to this, feel free.
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    It is called a hang up.
    Talk to her about her phobias, find out about her religious imprinting etc.
    By no means consider marriage!
     
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  3. almostthere

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    Totally agree. Marriage would be tough with a lady like that.
    Maybe give her time and try to help her.
    I love a challenge
     
  4. 10_3XL

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    It sounds to me like she still has a lot of sexual insecurity. Do your best to reassure her and get her to relax and "go with the flow." Maybe then she will have more fun/pleasure. Maybe even to the point of getting "wet and messy." :D

    This is, of course, if you plan on pursuing things with this girl further. Couldn't exactly tell from your post.
     
  5. JonJo

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    In my experience and from what I have been told: A woman does not have to always, or even ever, orgasm to have enjoyed sex.
    In a 'good relationship' she can get pleasure, even satisfaction, from giving and causing her partner's pleasure and satisfaction.
    It is good if she does orgasm, if she wants to, needs to, but it is her choice - I think all women can put a 'block' on their orgasm as they feel it approaching, if they want to (unlike most men).
    A lot of the "she didn't orgasm, I'm must be doing something wrong, there is something wrong with her", comes from the "a good lover always makes his partner orgasm" school of modern thinking.
    This is the cause of many male hang-ups about penis size and performance issues.
    I had a partner of 36 who openly stated that she had never had an orgasm from 'male attention', of any kind, only from her own.
    She had been married, 3 kids, divorced and six bfs & fully enjoyed all aspects of sex.
    She really enjoyed knowing her partner had cum off.
    Reason: Too embarrassed to 'let herself go' in front of a man because of how she acted and sounded and so at the 'crucial time switched off'. As this was her choice and my inquires were not appreciated I did not try to go into the reason(s) for her embarrassment.
    After three weeks of intense attempts, of all kinds,I gave up despite how much I liked her because although physically satisfied I wasn't psychologically satisfied.
    Performance issues, bruised ego? No, great sex to me means sharing, giving, knowing, feeling, hearing and seeing my partner orgasm.
    Without that, no matter how evident otherwise her enjoyment, somehow I don't feel the act has been mutually satisfying; that I haven't 'been a man' if I couldn't make my woman cum. - Perhaps that is a 'performance issue' after all.
    But why should I feel this when going back only a relatively few decades it was not even acknowledge, let alone generally known, that women could orgasm?
     
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  6. lbushwalker

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    Dude I am right there with you.
    It is our task as men to provide the ultimate pleasure to our sex mate as otherwise why would they even want our attention?
    We give them their due, we get to impregnate it is biology at work!
     
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  7. oldkid

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    Practice makes perfect, if there is such a thing. If she's not going to get you off with intercourse, even with a condom, keep trying until you get a woman who doesn't have hangups. Somebody that wants to fuck. She might still be a good friend.
     
  8. Alwayslearningsex

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    Marriage is not even considered by both of us, we just try sex ......