Ex told me to "explore"

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Maddox, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    Well here's the story.

    I lost my virginity to my girlfriend at the time about a month ago. We are really close, but she remembered back to the kinds of things she was thinking of just after she lost her virginity, and how getting sex out of her system helped her stop thinking of it.

    So... we decided to be single, and she told me to basically go out and "explore;" to have some sex with some people and get it out of my system. Well... I've been working on it, but she always wants to hang out.

    I'm having a party tonight and she kept dropping hints that she wanted to come too even though she couldn't drink (driving home) just to watch us play beerpong. I didn't know what to tell her so I ignored it.

    If she's always around how am I supposed to "explore" anything? She told me to go explore, I agree, and I want to do it. What do you think would be a nice way to say it? Or imply it? Anything.

    By the way she loves me.
     
  2. HardRocker

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    Do you have a car? Get in it and head for a more Easterly Key, maybe you'll run into Jimmy Buffett.:lol

    First make sure she hasn't LoJacked it.:eyes
     
  3. polarbear79

    polarbear79 New Member

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    i've experienced this several times. they say one thing and then do another. i say just do your business and explore. see how she reacts. i think that if you two realize that you feel strongly for each other, you both will stop exploring...
     
  4. Barbwire

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    The title of your thread is, "Ex told me.." If she's your ex, why are you letting her play head games with you? Clearly, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I say, move on and find a more mature woman that knows what she wants, period.
     
  5. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    She knows she wants me and isn't doing any exploring. She told me to do that because she was tempted to back when she first lost her virginity with her old boyfriend a couple years back.
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Trust me, at 21 when you're hopefully trying to become who and what you want to be and do with your life, the last thing you need is a cling-on head case for a girlfriend.
     
  7. justthegirl

    justthegirl New Member

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    im going to be honest, im a little confused here...she told you to "explore" b/c when she lost her virginity, she was tempted to cheat?
     
  8. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    I don't like the sound of this. Where are you going to be once you are more together, and you've finished all your exploring and " getting it out of your system" would leave the sexual part of your relationship non existant. You'd loose all interest in her then... Right. It sounds like a bad move to me. Explore things together. She's woosing out. Playing chicken, or she wants you ti learn. But still it sounds llike a stupid move
     
  9. qcumbr1

    qcumbr1 New Member

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    This sounds like one of those "tests" to see if you do what she really doesn't want you to do, to test your devotion to her. Run away...fast !
     
  10. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    I ended up just breaking it off with her and now I'm having fun with a few of my friends.
     
  11. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    At an intellectual level she wants you to explore at but at an emotional level she is very uncomfortable with the thought. Before acting on it you need to speak with her to clarify if this is something she is comfortable with you doing and if so, you need to reach an understanding with her on the statement. Otherwsie you risk your relationship with her.
     
  12. Barbwire

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    Yorkie, read the post below yours. He ended it with the girl, which I think was a very good idea.

    Maddox, I hope you find a less complicated woman to date next time. ((hugs))