Ever felt like running away from your relationship?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by MariaMaria, Oct 30, 2016.

  1. MariaMaria

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  2. Sweetlysad

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    My moms cousin husband just left, pack his bags and no one knew where he went. Later he did make contact with his grown kids. He had moved to a different country, he just said he just couldn't take it anymore.
     
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  3. cook74

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    Yeah, felt like this too often... But then there is our child.

    I would never do anything like the guy in the news link did but I think that there must be heaps of people that have these thoughts (day dreams of a different life) even though the thoughts are just too unrealistic to carry out.
     
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  4. SexyFantasyGirl

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    no not at all, I'm very grateful every day we are together
     
  5. JackieTreehorn

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    I "run away" to this place for about 30-60 minutes every so often, lol. Works for me!
    That way the cops don't have to get involved.:)
     
  6. WorstBehaviour

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    I have felt like this but never actually did it because its more than just leaving that relationship it would mean running away from an entire life which is literally the only reason i didnt do it. That being said, i wouldnt have felt i had to do it if the girl i was with wasnt a little bit crazy and a lot clingy.
     
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  7. MariaMaria

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    Thanks for sharing, everyone.
    I think most of us can relate to the feeling of needing a change, but some people seem to make extreme decisions...probably because they deny their own feelings for so long that one day they finally do something about it. This is probably a healthier alternative:
    :)
     
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  8. DayPlay3

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    Not unlike Convicts serving a life without parole sentence, at a certain point many of us accept the fate we had unwittingly choose so many years ago.:oops:

    THAT, or the subconscious realization the someone else would not really be any better. ;)

    @MariaMaria
     
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  9. MariaMaria

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    thanks for bringing that up too...it's usually a combination of factors that makes people act. And when it comes to having a companion, sometimes we just settle for what we know/are used to rather than looking for something better...
     
  10. whybother

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    I feel, however, that when you feel like you want something "better", its time to look at what you have already. At one point we all felt like we found the best there is. It's impossible to maintain the passion of the "new" relationship, but if you are always chasing that feeling you miss out on the feeling that comes with working through hard times together.

    Its actually pretty cool to be together knowing that we didn't give up when one of us wanted to walk away. Its cool to dig deeper and be there for each other, and to know that life is about no regrets. The relationship isn't a trap or a prison, it is an incubator, a greenhouse for life to grow and thrive.

    I know that sometimes it is necessary to walk away from a bad situation, but I think that too many people walk away without really trying to figure out what is missing. To figure out what they could do to make the relationship grow. We are all weak. I think that too many people pledge to love someone but then give up when the other's weakness causes problems. There is such satisfaction in helping that person overcome the weakness. Love is about 1 plus 1 adding up to more than 2. A couple is more than the sum of its parts.

    I see responses about how hard it is to walk away, but I feel that it takes courage to stay, to fight for a relationship, to make it work and to win.

    There is true happiness in the victory of a long loving relationship.
     
  11. MariaMaria

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    What an eloquent reply (as usual) :) I love the thought of the relationship as an incubator.
    It's very true that sometimes we get so caught up in the negative aspects of a situation that we can't see what brought us together anymore. On the other side of the coin, some people choose a partner for reasons that go beyond just love and wanting to share a life together. I'm thinking of things like a deep desperation to not be alone or thinking that the other person is going to fill an emotional void that can only be resolved internally. Those things will always take precedence at the end of the day; and I think that may be the driving force behind these escapes....excuse the rambling!
     
  12. whybother

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    Not rambling at all. You make a very good point. I have some experience with the annulment process in the Catholic Church. That process examines a similar question. Did one or both of the parties to a marriage enter the union without capacity to agree. One of the circumstances is when one party commits for the wrong reasons.
     
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  13. Rhaenys

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    I have a long history of running away. Obviously not under circumstances as extreme as never being found again, and it hasn't just applied to relationships. But I've never really been able to stand being in one place around the same people for long periods of time without feeling very suffocated. So until pretty recently, I would regularly take off to travel around for various periods of time without actually telling anyone where I was going or that I was even going anywhere.
     
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  14. KeybladePrincess

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    I think sometimes it's running away from more than just their relationships. I've been through some tough times with family, friends, and lovers and a couple times I've enjoyed the idea of leaving it all and starting over. Sometimes life get's so complicated and trying to get everything and everyone in your life to mesh together can be daunting to say the least.
     
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  15. ashjam

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    Relationship? What Relationship?
     
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  16. MariaMaria

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    Oh, wow, didn't know that was part of the church's annulment process...I wonder how useful it is really, since a lot of people can't really articulate why they do what they do or they might not want to admit to it (or maybe I just have little faith in people!) LOL

    So, do you think you can understand what can drive someone to vanish? Have you figured out the reason behind your own experience (not that you have to share it here!)?

    Excellent point!
     
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  17. Rhaenys

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    I can definitely understand it in some cases. I don't know about people completely wiping themselves off the map, but I imagine they only do it because they feel it's the best way to get away from a miserable life while still being able to keep living or because they did something bad and don't want to face the consequences. In my case, it's just that I'm either not meant to be settled in any spot or I'm not ready to yet because there's always more I want to see and do around the world and I haven't come across anyone in my life that wants to do the same. The only reason I've stopped running off for now is because I had to start being more practical lol.
     
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  18. Sagittarius84

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    Ive had the urge to do it in both of my longest term relationships, but I think most people start wondering if theres greener grass after the honeymoon period.
    What's interesting now is with a toddler son, and a paternal streak that kicked in overdrive the moment he came out, now I feel like running away with him, because I almost feel like sometimes I could raise him better alone or with someone else.
     
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  19. MariaMaria

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    Thanks for sharing. Hope you find your ideal nomadic partner!

    Sounds like you're in a tough situation :(
     
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  20. MissScarlett

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    Yes. Many times. I was always 'persuaded' to go back.
     
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