erraction problem

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by whyme21, Mar 14, 2006.

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  1. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    hi i got a problem that is making me so freaking agry i don't know what to do so i hope some one can help me here first time i had sex i was 18 i couldn't get any eraction so we tryed week later and i did get some not full but it was good so now im 20 i still have that problem yesterday i had a hot asian chick naked on the floor i couldn't get it up if i watch porno video's it gets up easy to the fullest what is this? any one plz help im going crazy here and its so imberessing my gf wants to try it again and im kinda scared what if i can't get any eraction again my god il go kill ma self any one help plzzzzzz
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    It sounds to me like a little anxiety at play. You're afraid you won't get an erection, your mind is telling you that you won't, so you don't. The first time it was probably a case of the jitters (also anxiety).

    The best way to get over it is to take it easy. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Don't even think about it, and it'll probably be there. That's easy to say, but not so easy to do.

    Another option would be to see your doctor about getting a prescription (or free sample) for Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. The problem with these is that they take awhile to work. You need to take them an hour or two before sex for best results. Levitra is supposed to work the quickest. Chances are pretty good they'll work well for you if used as directed. (Note: none give you an instant woody. All require sexual stimulation, mental or physical, to do the job.)

    At your age you shouldn't need any of these meds. If they work for you, use them for a short while until you get your confidence back, then ween yourself off of them. If the problem persists, see your doctor about a complete checkup. Erection problems can be a signal for more serious problems, but it sounds to me like it's just a mental thing with you.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    It's important to know that you are not alone. It happens to many young men when they are starting out.
    Actually - women as well, but you just don't know it. Nervousness will keep a woman from lubricating naturally. Thus, we have "Eros" and "Astroglide" and "KY". (*Even then, sometimes a woman's so tense, that she subconciously tightens her vaginal walls so much that penetration is next to impossible.)
    It's a bit trickier when you need to get a hard-on. But Joe is right. You need to get past the pressure of having to go all the way.
    If you G/F is willing, try some romance/hot petting/whatever.... with no sexual demands on each other. Even if you think "Oh man! I'm ready! I AM READY!!" - just stop for the night. It's almost like 'edging' in a way.
    Good luck - and welcome to "sexualforums".
     
  4. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    tx guys for ur advices i bought stamina-rx sample to see how it goes they said its 100% safe fda aprroved with no side affects so il try that this is so imberessing man im afraid my gf might leave me hehe so yea if she didn't all ready im so freaking depressed now ma day has been nathing but dead i try to be happy smile talk but just can't i realy dont know how i will get back on the track but il try after that day i been dead inside il keep u posted guys if i see any improvements

    one more thing u need to know when im with her fooling oround i get horney and its up i pre cum alot to the point that my testis start to hurt so bad i can barely walk
     
  5. FlaminFrancesca

    FlaminFrancesca New Member

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    It can be an embarrassing subject, but a visit to the doctor would be a good idea, just to rule out a medical issue... remember, they are doctors, they've seen it ALL! :)
     
  6. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    it appears ma gf didn't leave me she wants to try again i know medicaly there is nathign wrong with im grate shape i lift weight play sports etc never been on any kid of medication there is no problems running in family that i could have taken or anythign like that so i think is just me mentaly like i said ma first gf first time it didn't go but second time i feelt more comfortable and we ware doing it for obout 2 hours lol
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I'm glad things are progressing.
    That said, it would not hurt to see a doctor. Lifting weights, playing sports, -that's all very good. i do the same myself. But none of that precludes you from having a medical condition that needs diagnosed and treated. The fact tht your testicles hurt is not a good sign.

    One question... do you masturbate regularly?
     
  8. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    regulary like as once a day? then yes but when im with ma gf just touching each other for lec say 2 hours no sex i pre cum alot and it hurts bad
     
  9. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Have you thought of going to a doctor and having a checkup? It may be a serious problem.
     
  10. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    this is what bothers me man when i watch porno video i get eraction like in 5-20 sec to the fullest but when its time for sex it won't come up lol damn this is so so imberessing man
     
  11. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Must be because you are nervous.
     
  12. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Considering both these statements, it would lead me to believe it IS nerves. So that's just going to have to take some effort on your part to learn calming techniques.
    The only thing I can think of is to 'Google' some forms of meditation or yoga - something that you can get into that will help you when you are faced with the possibility of a sexual encounter.
     
  13. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    ok tx grandma il try to relax take ma mind of sex and ma gf and see how it goes
     
  14. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    While I'm no doctor, it certainly sounds like anxiety to me. I've had a problem getting it up only twice - right before my first time, and when my wife and I were trying to get pregnant and she was unknowingly putting a lot of pressure on me. The good news is that after you overcome it, I don't think it's very likely to occur again soon.

    Maybe you should try to lighten the mood some; try watching your favorite comedy and start getting intimate in the middle of the movie, or something to that effect so that you're relaxed (I dunno, it's just a suggestion, perhaps stupid.) But I think the cause of your problem is that you're unwittingly putting too much pressure on yourself. Good luck.:slong
     
  15. whyme21

    whyme21 New Member

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    Frank Grimes u might be right bc after that day when it happend 3 days i was dead sad angry depressed what ever u call it i couldn't smile for 3 straight days but now im fine back to normal me and ma girl haven't been speding much time with each other bc i own ma bussines and im busy all the time i see her 3 times a week but when i wan't to see her she is working so im guessing we need to spend some more time with each other be more relaxed then try it so yea il try some things that u guys requested and see how it goes from there il keep yall updated on ma progress il try not to let u all down hehe
     
  16. pussycat69

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    It definitely has to be stress.We(he) had a similar problem.He was working A LOT and there was a real lot of stress at work and lack of us seeing each other because of it.He was REAL horny,but had a real hard time getting fully hard,it wouldn't happen or would take a real lot of effort.He didn't have any problems masturbating though.He made some REAL serious work changes and fixed the stress situation.Now,he just looks at me and he's ready to go...Stress tends to get the best of us.
     
  17. Thorn

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    I had almost forgotten pussycat but I had the same problem that your guy had. Our sex life almost instantly became revitalized when we became empty-nesters. Then all of a sudden I had a hard time getting hard during sex. And when it did get hard we couldn't keep it hard long enough for sex. There were a few times it would stay erect but then I couldn't orgasm. I would always find a way to satisfy her and bring her to orgasm. So we talked it over and we didn't think it was stress related so she wanted me to talk to my doctor about Viagra. I just had a gut feeling that it was a temporary thing and we should continue to try to work through it. I'm thinking it lasted about a month or so then one time during sex we could tell that it might work this time and it did. I remember the feeling of relief after I came. Never a problem after that though. I'm 57 and it's works as good as when I was 18. :dance
     
  18. pussycat69

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    I guess it happens to the best of us...but I'm glad we are all back to "normal"....yourself included.I think our minds just play tricks on us sometimes.:)
     
  19. Ladysierra

    Ladysierra New Member

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    I know you are working to fix your problem but you mentioned how you were worried your GF was going to leave you. Are you keeping her happy while your getting things straightened out in your head?

    I'm not saying it's right for a girl to leave her guy when he's having problems, but maybe keeping her satisfied with oral will help with that part. And might not hurt to help you relax as well. If your concentrating on giving her pleasure you might not think about your problem and things might happen naturally?

    When I was dating this one guy, he could usually have orgasm after orgasm and manage to keep it hard LOL I have no idea how so don't ask. But there were a few times when he would have a hard (no pun intended) time getting it up. What usually helped was him giving me oral or watching me finger myself. Sometimes we'd just sit back and watch a porn and with half an hour he was back to his old self.

    Just a thought...
     
  20. blondboy

    blondboy New Member

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    I sympathize with you and understand your frustration because ED has become "a way of life" for me. Levitra and Viagra work sometimes. Years ago, I had a girlfriend that I met once a week. We would have non stop sex for a half a day. We would screw half a dozen times; she would suck me and that invariably got me rock hard. Also, when I went down on her that worked too. I'm an oral kind of guy anyway, so that always pretty much does the trick. When I have had a hard time coming, simultaneously sucking on a tit helped a lot. Good luck.
     
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