I was going to post in this thread but decided it would be better to post my own, since what I am asking is not quite the same as what he is asking. Some background: I lost my virginity at age 14. It wasn't an experience really worthy of anything, looking back on it. I laid on top and thrust away (her requirement, not mine). I lasted a minute or 2 until climax, but was able to keep going and remain erect. I went numb after a bit, but the point being I was able to maintain my erection and keep going. Since then I have had 3 partners, starting at age 23 or 24. One of the 3 we never had sex involving penetration because performance anxiety mixed with desensitizing condoms completely ruined any ability on my part to get fully erect and maintain. In both other relationships, even being completely comfortable and being able to perform, if I was doing the thrusting, I could not last more than a minute or 2 unless I went really slow and did what I could to not think about what I was doing. I can last plenty if my partner gets on top, or I am receiving oral, but if I am thrusting, it's all over in no time. Sad to say there were times when going for anal sex caused me to climax once I was all the way in. Granted for me this feels good regardless, at least for the climax. But I feel bad for a number of reasons, and that obviously does not help things at all. My first partner and I also tried using a desensitizing spray that was 1% lidocaine but we didn't really work at it to find the right amount to use and it went pretty much untouched. So at this point I am not really sure what one would do to build endurance. I've heard about kegels, but I don't see how being able to hold back the climax would help unless I could remain at climax for as long as my partner needed. Going slow only works if I go *really* slow, which can't be all the pleasurable for my partner (going on how my partner at age 23 went at it when she got on top). I've wondered about cock rings, but have 0 knowledge on how they work or if they're okay to use really. I don't need to be able to hold back my climax really, I just want to be able to maintain an erection (though delaying climax/orgasm is fine too). Any feedback would be great.