Emotionally Hurt by Sex?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by LilBAM, Nov 15, 2012.

  1. LilBAM

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    I figured since this has to do with women that I've fallen head over heels for in the past, this would be better suited in this subforum.

    Okay, so...to lay out a background, I'm still a virgin, never been in a relationship, and never even been kissed. Over time I've had an emotional problem come up where I've fallen madly in love with my closest female friends. None of them have worken out, but I've still remained friends with them. For some reason, with my best friend, every time I hear about them having sex(not very often but still), it kills me inside. About anything else, though, and I'm fine. Why is it that thinking about them having sex with someone else hurts me, but hearing about anything else does not?
     
  2. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Body Type
    Few Extra Pounds

    you already answered your question, start training
     
  3. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,958
    Likes Received:
    5,069
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    MrCock's blunt comment aside, you sense your only "chances" slipping by each tIme you hear of such events.
    If you truly care for your friend(s) then be happy for them when they are.
    Friends are not good to fall in love with as that tends to mess up the existing relationship and you are lucky it has not so far.
    Friend or sister of a friend, different story altogether ;)
     
  4. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I'd disagree with you on this one, really. explain at least
     
  5. LilBAM

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    Yeah, I suppose. I have started training actually. Lost about 10 pounds in a couple of months and 3 inches off my waistline.

    Also, I know what you're saying is how I should feel. I know you're right on that. I suppose the better question is how do I overcome these feelings?
     
  6. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    lilbam, it is not about the weight loss. fuck diet, you'll get more later. just avoid shit food like animal fat, sugar, flour
     
  7. clamUp

    clamUp Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2007
    Messages:
    480
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Illinois (USA)
    Man, I'm terrible with advice, but when I was 20, I went through a lot of those very same feelings so I'll share what I can.

    Probably the worst was when a roommate brought home a girl I had a crush on, and I spent the night listening to them go at it in the next room. It made for one of the longest nights of my life.

    The only way I can think of to avoid it is to keep from letting those feelings develop prematurely in the first place. I know that's like asking a fish not to swim sometimes, but it's about the only way to keep from putting yourself through those agonizing feelings. Find something about her that makes her seem less like a goddess and more like just another person. It sounds goofy, but one thing that worked for me was picturing the girl bald, just the shape of her head. It took away some of the glamor and helped me see her for more of a person than as an object of sex.

    When you feel that way about someone, you've got to talk to them about it. And if they don't feel that way in return you have to change your mindset to one of friendship and move on. Exactly how you do that is a personal thing. What worked for me may not (and probably won't) work for you.

    I don't believe looks have anything to do with it either. They may keep you from getting the girl you want, but they won't keep you from the girl that wants you. And she's out there. You've just got put yourself where she is and be yourself when you meet.

    Like I said though, I'm terrible with advice, so feel free to pay no attention to any of this. ;)
     
  8. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,500
    Likes Received:
    4,380
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    What a dick statement. Seriously. His body type had nothing to do with his question. How about adding actual answers or kindly excusing yourself from our forum.
     
  9. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    if you want me off the forum just say it. that was a real actual answer

    now that's a typical nonsense of some really primitive women. I should also say that not all of the women have such a primitive point of view. you know what, mittimer, you should've also told him that the main in every man is a personality, intelligence, isn't it? that how you look have nothing to do with being attractive to women, isn't it, mittimer? now, you know what, mittimer, you can ban me right now, I don't give a stone, really. I'd just miss ma friends, but they already have ma skype, so go ahead. but before that, I gotta tell you something, lilbam

    so, listen up lilbam, if you'll listen to all that super old nonsense of some super primitive women that are being lost in some 1500 year, I gotta tell you, with absolutely no bullshit, you can be fat, but if you don't have muscles you'll have absolutely the same problems in the future, as you have them now. just for a second, why a women should tell you about being sexy? you don't go telling every woman with some issues about how she would be sexy

    now I just know, mittimer, what are you gonna reply me having already read all this. I know, take your time.....................................

    yea, personality matters. yea, intelligence matters. being sexy is having it all, look attractive, being intelligent, and of course a lot more of really interesting things

    so now what, mittimer? no illegal words. no personal attacks. you have nothing on me. you know what, mittimer, if you are a moderator, it doesn't necessary makes you the smartest here. I've talked with a lot smarter women then you are. yea, I talked with them right here on this forum. some of them are ma friends also

    nite nite

    :eyes
     
  10. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    mrcock - Here's the problem: your first response had nothing to do with what LilBAM asked. Not in the least bit. He wasn't asking how to get girls to like him back, or anything like that. He was asking for help on how to cope with having strong emotional attachment to girls who don't reciprocate, and getting insanely jealous or angry when he hears about them having sex.

    Your reply really was pretty much rude, just based on that. You really don't have any room to be getting snotty at Mittimer for calling you out on it. You were/are in the wrong here.
     
  11. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    yea, he did asked that. by already being known to be a positive person, the only thing he is missing is some training, don't you agree?

    :lol
     
  12. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    No, he didn't. he asked this: "Why is it that thinking about them having sex with someone else hurts me, but hearing about anything else does not?" That has nothing to do with his weight, or making himself more attractive to the opposite sex, etc.
     
  13. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,594
    Likes Received:
    2,387
    Gender:
    Female
    LilBam...is it more about jealousy over sex or the relationship? That might make a difference in my answer.

    Red...I could kiss you for sticking to describing MrCock's behavior and your opinion about the impact it has versus attacking him personally. I've noticed this about you on other threads.
     
  14. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    because he is a virgin, but do I have to point that out?
     
  15. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,093
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    :lol "Primitive women?" Definitely the word of the day. I must go use it in a sentence.




    Meanwhile,

    Ask your friend to help match you up with someone. For starters, she might be able to think of someone she already knows who she might want to fix you up with. Enlist her in your search for the love life you're longing for. Have her on your side in the game of love, instead of as a wishful target. I think that will help redefine how you think about her.
     
  16. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    didn't he?
     
  17. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,500
    Likes Received:
    4,380
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl


    I agree 110% with your statement meee. That's one if the ways I have gotten over or past people when I was in the dating scene
     
  18. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    I'd love to collect, but don't be fooled. I can be just as nasty as anyone at times. You can see this by looking into past posts. I'm no saint by any stretch. I'm just being diplomatic right now.

    His back story including how he's a virgin does not a question make.

    He didn't.
     
  19. mrcock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I am sure he did, but it doesn't matter, it is up to him now...........
     
  20. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Would you like to place a wager on that?