During a blow job.....

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Amature, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. Amature

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    I'm curious. The last couple of times we had sex I was on my back and my wife was giving me a blow job. I eventually reach down and placed my hand on her head. Not forcing her mind you, but just kind of joking around and just for a few seconds. The first time she laughed. The last time, not so much. Today we were in the car and she was telling me what she was going to do to me when we got home. Kinda sexxxxxxxy! Then she proceeded to tell me what she was going to do if I EVER put my hand on her head during a B.J. Again. Not so sexy now. I've seen porn where the guy forced the girls head down, making her deal throat him. And sometimes holding her ears while pounding her mouth. I wasn't doing that, I just placed my hand on her head and there wasn't any force. She made it clear to NEVERTHELESS do this again,so I wont. But is it common for a man to place his hand on a woman's head during oral? I told her ANYTIME she wanted to pull my head, ears, or hair while I was eating her out to knock herself out.
     
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  2. AGFUNK

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    She probably has some issue with it in the past of being forced or something. Seems stupid to tell you off without calmly telling you why she doesn't like it. I love when my husband puts his hand on my head. I know he's really enjoying it then.
     
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  3. 12barblues

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    Sluttyfairy insists upon it, (hands on her head)...sometimes i even put both hands gently around her throat and guide her up and down...so I guess it's just a matter of personal preference.. We have a friend that we discuss sexual things w openly, and she feels just like your wife. Absolutely does not want hands on her head during oral.. She couldnt say why she felt that way, but she was prety adament about it... i dunno, but As agfunk said, maybe someone forced her to do something she didn't want to in the past?
     
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  4. Amature

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    I don't know. I know she was pretty wild in her younger life (or so she says) so she could have been forced. I know her first husband raper her after they divorced and he may have even. I'll probably not pursue it any farther, if she wants to tell me she will I suppose. It kind of started as a joke anyway.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    If she was raped , yeah... That's it right there.. Totally understandable tht she would freak over it . I'm very sorry to hear that happened to her. I hope the asshole was punished for that crime?
     
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  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    The good side is she still gives oral, still willing to do it.
    Yeah it varies from one person to the other again. Any woman who did it for me were fine to have my hand on the head, to hold hair out of the way so I could watch, or just the kinkiness of it. One even wanting me to pull her hair in a way to force her to go down, of while from behind. I could only get a grab of her hair and softly "force" her to give a BJ.
     
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  7. Amature

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    No, he wasn't punished, she didn't report it. He had threatened her family and she was only in her teens and figured it would have been a case of he said/she said.
     
  8. MissScarlett

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    Rape by someone you know & trust leaves its own unique scars. The fact he was never punished is sadly not uncommon. The psychological damage will be different for everyone but it never goes away. Sometimes the smallest act or word can take you right back, even if you feel totally safe with the person you're with. It sounds like this is what's happening. A hand on the head, no matter how gentle may trigger feelings that she is not in control & even if your intention is nothing to do with force her body (& more importantly her mind) may automatically respond as though it is. I imagine she will find it quite hard to explain fully & it is no reflection on you at all. The fact she loves & trusts you may make it harder to explain.

    Back to the original question - I do think it's quite common for a guy to put his hand on his partners head, usually as he's approaching orgasm. I think for some it's an automatic response & most definitely a sign of enjoying themselves. My current FWB (actually he's much more than that. He's my closest friend & the only person who knows what happened to me, we just some additional benefits to our friendship at the minute) often puts his hand on my head & sometimes grabs my hair as well. Sometimes he winds my hair around his hand & pulls. I love it & find it very erotic, but as I said everyone responds differently. There are other things that affect me & it's like I go into an automatic emotional & physical shutdown. I can't explain it & I can't explain why some things are ok& others aren't. I think it must be very difficult to be the partner of a rape victim and it must leave you with lots of questions & confusion. Just remember none of this is a reflection on you & it is important that you both keep enjoying sex so it doesn't become in issue.
    PM me if you like. This is a hard topic for the open forums
     
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  9. lucky5338

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    I could never ever try and force myself upon any woman.Sex is such a beautiful thing to be enjoyed by both parties and totally with their full participation. I idea of using someone for your own satisfaction is totally repugnant to me . I must confess I have never had a blow job but I can imagine what it must be like and would only want one if the lady wanted to do it and had some pleasure by so doing and I would wish to return the compliment in the same way. :)
     
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  10. Lou_x

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    I like him to rest his hands on my head he would never force anything...
     
  11. jdm320

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    I agree with the post that said at least she gives you oral. When I have received it, it has seem natural to put my hand on her head. Like the op not to force, but to rub her head to give m approval of what she is doing. However if she would to request me not to, I wouldn't.
     
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  12. billytk1977

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    My wife had some bad things happen in her teens by her brothers friends, for a long time tbere was a lot she just would not do and i was not going to push her. One day she opened up and explained it to me, it was in her time. Once it was on the table we have been able to understand better why she did not like those things and now we are both in the know there has been a lot she has done with me willingly. But we have the agreement that if she feels uncomfortable for any reason it stops. No if, and or buts.

    Let her tell you in her time, in the meantime just reassure her and show her you love her.
     
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