Dumb Blonde Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by HornyMum30, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. HornyMum30

    HornyMum30 New Member

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    >
    > > > FIRST DEGREE:
    > > >
    > > > A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
    > > >The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
    > > >said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
    > > >
    > > > The husband said, "Who was that?"
    > > >
    > > > The wife said, "I don't know! It was some woman wanting to know if the
    > > >coast is clear."
    > > >
    > > > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:
    > > >
    > > > SECOND DEGREE:
    > > >
    > > > Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the
    > > >sidewalk and
    > > > leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and
    > > >said, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
    > > >
    > > > The second blonde said, "Here, let me see!" So t he first blonde handed
    > > >her the compact.
    > > >
    > > > The second one looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!"
    > > >
    > > > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-
    > > >
    > > > THIRD DEGREE:
    > > >
    > > > A blonde suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she went out
    > > >and bought a gun. She went to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
    > > >opened the door she found him in the arms of a redhead.
    > > >
    > > > Well, the blonde is really angry. She opened her purse to take out the
    > > >gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She took the gun and
    > > >put it to her head.
    > > >
    > > > The boyfriend yelled, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
    > > >
    > > > The blonde replied, "Shut up .. You're next!"
    > > >
    > > > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:
    > > >
    > > > FOURTH DEGREE:
    > > & gt;
    > > > A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
    > > >proudly said, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
    > > >
    > > > A friend said, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
    > > >
    > > > The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy: W."
    > > >
    > > > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:
    > > >
    > > > FIFTH DEGREE:
    > > >
    > > > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
    > > >
    > > > "Is it mine?"
    > > >
    > > > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:- ,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-
    > > >
    > > > SIXTH DEGREE:
    > > >
    > > > Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
    > > >government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
    > > >was about.
    > > >
    > > > Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
    > > >George Washington ha d to make before he crossed the Del aware "
    > > >
    > > > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*: -.,_,.-:*?`?*:
    > > >
    > > > SEVENTH DEGREE:
    > > >
    > > > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
    > > >ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
    > > >the crime.
    > > >
    > > > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
    > > >patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
    > > >the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
    > > >shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
    > > >
    > > > Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
    > > >possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They
    > > >send me a BLIND policeman."
     
  2. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

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    A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender,"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
    1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
    2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
    4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
    5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
    Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
    "Nah, ......................................................
    Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
     
  3. HornyMum30

    HornyMum30 New Member

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    LOL, Thanks!
     
  4. Butterflykisses

    Butterflykisses New Member

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    lol

    They were all good just what I needed thanks