Drunk texts...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Mestizomad, Jul 22, 2015.

  1. Mestizomad

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    Hey,

    I've done a few drunk texts in my time, usually to girls that I fancy, sometimes with good reactions, mostly with bad reactions lol.

    I was VERY tempted to send a dirty text to one of my GFs hot female friends when I was drunk the other week, but I ended up not doing so in the end, mainly because I think I fell asleep!

    Anyways, what's the naughtiest drunk text that you have ever sent? Or what are some of the best or worst reactions that you have got from your drunk texts?

    Cheers :)
     
  2. Candela

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    Just wondering why you have to be drunk to send a naughty text??
     
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  3. Mestizomad

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    Lol this is very true. However sometimes drunk texts are just amusing or you think of saying things that you would jail never normally say.
     
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  4. Clintriprock

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    Sent a drunk text meant for my girlfriend to my ex wife by mistake.
    " I can't wait to fuck your big tits tonight"
    My ex had a B cup........
     
  5. nicelynoosed

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    Texts from last night. It's a web site. It makes me cry often, usually with laughter. The texts there are far funnier, sadder, and more hilarious than any I have ever sent.


    ...In fact, while I did do some drunken voicemailing in college (in the days when a 14.4 modem was a big deal), that was still never very sexy. I just don't text whilst inebriated. A buddy had a girlfriend doing a semester abroad and our drinking hours were her 'being asleep' hours. So, we navigated through that campus' voicemail system, he left her a sappy 'love you' message, and then we would select some other number at random for a 'Jim' message. The gimmick was that the caller, never identified, was trying to reach a friend named 'Jim'. He would call Jim 'from' a phone booth, or a strip club, or a police station and loudly demand assistance without ever giving enough information to be of any use.

    'Jim, I was inna pub and some fuck has stolen the parking lot.'

    'Jim, lad, you've gotta see this. Ya know that place with the blue sign I said I was gonna check out? Well, boyo, the strippers all have beards and I thought you'd wanna know.'

    'Jim! Jim! I may have taken things a bit far this evening. The constables say they'll defer charges and even return the sheep, but only if you come down and prove you're really a bishop. Be a pal, Jim, and bring yer funny hat.'

    And so forth.

    Which only goes to show that I was a huge nerd and that it's rather amazing that I now have a smart, hot wife who really should know better.

    NN
     
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  6. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    I've sent plenty of raunchy drunk texts. However, they're sent to the same people that I sent dirty texts to while sober. The only difference is that when I'm drunk, the texts tend to have more spelling errors (or Swype decideds I mean duck instead of fuck)...
     
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  7. suckmydick72

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    This might be the most stupid:

    Me: "Honey, I want to fuck you so badly, but your flat won't let me in. And who is the fat bloke in there shouting at me to get lost?"
    Her: "I moved last week, numbnuts. You were there, remember?"
    Me: "Erm, maybe. Was I helpful?"
    Her: "Surprisingly, yes. Now, come over to my new place at [address]. If you make it in less than 20 minutes I'll let you fuck my arse. ;-)"
    19 minutes later I was in.

    And this is probably the weirdest/most disturbing:

    Me: "I want to finger-fuck your arse while I suck on your juicy clit."
    Her: "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
    Me: "You heard me, whore. I'll tie you up, fuck your every hole and shoot my load onto your face."
    Her: "Again: WHAT THE FUCK!?"
    Me: "What's up with you? I thought you wanted to be dominated every now and again. We talked about this."
    Her: "Maybe you talked about this with your girlfriend, but not with me. This is your sister, me little darling brother."
    Me: "Oh, fuck. This wasn't meant for you. You know that, right?"
    Sis: "Yeah, I figured as much. Been drinking, haven't ya?"
    Me: "Yes."
    Sis: "Wait, until I tell mum and dad about this. They'll piss themselves laughing. :-D"
    Me: "Please, don't."
    Sis: "Oh, yes, I will."
    Me: "Shit. I hate you sometimes."

    This was 12 years ago and my parents still get a laugh out of this.
     
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  8. Mestizomad

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    Those are all some pretty good ones I have to be honest.

    My ultimate fantasy would be to send a v naughty drunk text to a hot female friend, and then for her to reply in a positive manner and for the sexting to continue from there onwards...

    I've considered sending naughty photos that I already had on my phone to female friends before when drunk. Maybe I shouldn't keep them on my phone LOL..

    I remember now, I woke up the other morning with the phone in my bed and a 2/3 written text on my phone to one of my GFs hot friends.

    I can't remember the exact wording but it was something along the lines of wanting to touch her up and finger her...

    I'm 50/50 about whether I should have sent it as she can be quite flirty with me and she is quite naughty herself...